


But I Do

by bagheadjuly



Category: Bandom, Music RPF, Paramore
Genre: F/F, Paramore (Band), Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-01-15 13:33:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1306687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagheadjuly/pseuds/bagheadjuly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can the past really ever be left in the past? Hayley Williams and Lights hit it off, but things aren't all rainbows and butterflies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ...Taylor. That's weird.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This really isn't a nice love story. While it's cute as fuck at parts, don't read if you're counting on a happy ending. I don't know how it's going to go yet, but I know I can't guarantee anything.
> 
> Major trigger warning for later, it's relatively safe so far... But if you're looking to steer clear of triggering things and touchy subjects, you've been warned. 
> 
> Without further ado; I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1.

Desperately clamoring for the door handle, a breaking woman nearly tumbled out of the driver’s seat of the car that had just pulled into a crumbly suburban driveway. With a small cry, her hands found the ground as quickly as possible. Her fingers, slender and shaking, curled instantly into the earth, holding onto fistfuls of dirt and weeds, needing to feel the solidity of the dry ground. Tremors rolled through the woman's petite body in waves, as she succumbed to the unrelenting, convulsive sobs that were now taking her over completely. The woman who was crumbling as surely as the ancient gravel behind her was named Hayley Williams.  
Hayley crossed her arms over her ribcage as tight as she could stand, her fingernails clawing into her sides. She couldn't feel it anyway. Kneeling in the browning grass under gray skies, she couldn't hear even her own thoughts over the cacophony of her uncontrollable crying. Breathless, she knew only that she needed to pull herself together, before she made an even bigger scene. She jerked a trembling hand up to her mouth, balling it into a fist, muffling her gasps. She realized raindrops were falling- a few hours later than the slightly-too-excited weather man on the forecast this morning had predicted, but still rain nonetheless. The thought- Nay, the memory, evoked a pathetic sound from the back of her throat. This morning. This morning, he was still here. She pushed away his name, another squeak escaping her mouth. At first the feverish redhead hadn't noticed the rain, for she was covered in tears and countless beads of cold sweat. Amidst desperate gasps for air, a part of Hayley wanted to stay out in the front lawn forever, not caring about the rain, nor anything else. She was nearly too weak to walk inside at this point anyways, she thought. “What's the point?” She'd thought, “What's the point in anything? I just want to die.” And then she stopped herself. While her emotions were real, and she felt lower than she had ever thought possible, she realized how cliché that would be- to fall apart in the front lawn, sobbing your eyes out, getting soaked in a rainstorm. It sounded like something from a bad movie, and it was hard wired into Hayley's personality to avoid clichés, no matter what the situation. Not wanting to be the pathetic girl in the beginning of a cheap, angsty horror flick, she swallowed hard and pushed herself up off the previously parched, now nearly muddy ground. Her entire body shaking violently still, she slowly made her way to the door, fumbling with her keys for a few seconds more than what would've been acceptable, had someone been watching. “Oh god,” she thought with a sudden rush of terror, “I hope no one was watching.” At this point she felt more embarrassed than anything, most of her prior physical ailments having left her, all except for a few renegade tears still trailing down her cheek.  
Stumbling and sniffling, an exhausted Hayley wove through her cluttered house, not caring enough to make it to the bedroom. She collapsed onto the couch, shrugging under a striped knit blanket her mum had given her years ago. The singer closed her heavy eyes and began to slip into sleep within a short minute, her last conscious thoughts tired and defeated. She was a mess, certainly. But at least she wasn't a pathetic cliché movie chick. At least she had her dignity. Sort of.  
The next morning came slowly, with Hayley drifting in and out of consciousness, her mind wandering the gray area between her dreams and a cold reality. A series of knocks went unnoticed at her front door. Still sedated with pure exhaustion, the redhead shifted, nestling her face into the crook of the throw pillow she had locked in her arms. She refused to be woken from her peaceful slumber.  
Outside in the still afternoon air, Taylor sighed. He tried the door, jiggling the knob, only to be greeted by the bitter click of the lock denying his entry. Stepping off of the cheerful welcome mat at his feet, he stooped over, lifting it and picking up the old key that lay underneath. He felt so uncomfortable just walking into Hayley's house, but she'd told him time and time again that it was okay.  
Letting himself inside, he smiled in spite of himself. Before he even had time to call out her name, he saw the tiny female curled up on the sofa. He walked softly past her into the kitchen he knew like his own. He, Jeremy, Kat, and Chad were always over at Hayley's, so it felt like home to everyone, especially since she was so hospitable. Well, he thought as he searched through her refrigerator, it depends on what you would consider hospitable. Hayley was always inviting the dudes over, promising to cook them dinner or something, but then when they arrive, she'll be all, “yeah I dunno, I think there were some chips in the pantry.” Taylor chuckled to himself with the thought, cracking eggs on the rim of a large bowl. The point was, everyone felt at home at Hayley's place. Just one of the reasons they all loved her. As he tended to the stove top, Hayley stumbled into the kitchen, stifling a yawn. Without turning around, Taylor greeted her.  
“Morning, sleepyhead. Or should I say afternoon..” He mused, pushing an array of eggs and vegetables around in the pan he was holding.  
“You-” She started, cut off by another yawn, “You scared me. Thought you were a burglar or something..” she trailed off, walking over to the island in the center of the kitchen, climbing onto a stool, and rubbing her green eyes, which were still thick with sleep.  
“Not a burglar, just me,” Taylor said, pouring the food onto a small plate. “Bon appetite.” Hayley's eyes widened as she saw the food being set before her.  
“You- I-??” She was at a loss for words and settled on the act of shoveling the hot food into her mouth as an adequate way to show her gratitude.  
“You're welcome,” Taylor laughed, as Hayley looked up at him happily between mouthfuls. After the initial euphoria brought on by Taylor's cooking had passed, Hayley slowed down, eating at a normal pace once more.  
“So,” Hayley said, swallowing, “What brings you to my lovely house this early?” Taylor gave her a funny look.  
“It's almost 3:00..” He informed her.  
“No way,” She replied. He nodded to the clock above the stove, receiving a groan from the tired redhead. They continued talking as Hayley finished eating. The band had to leave for the airport by 4:00, and Brazil was oh so excited to have them. Hayley couldn't believe she'd forgotten to get up, or more that she'd slept so late. Since she'd woken to find Taylor in her kitchen, she hadn't thought about the previous night even once. Now as their conversation winded down, she found her thoughts in dark places again. As Taylor began to pick up her dishes, she stopped him.  
“No, you cooked, plus it's my house. Let me do it.” Taylor shrugged, he couldn't argue with that. As Hayley walked the plate over to the rest of the dishes on the counter, Taylor unknowingly asked the worst thing he possibly could have.  
“So, how'd last night go? You lovebirds are too damn cute,” Hayley's green eyes flashed wide open, their usual warmth now vacant and chilling. Her grasp faltered, letting the plate she was holding clatter into the basin of the sink. Taylor didn't seem to notice or think anything of her sudden silence. He continued.  
“I wish I'd gotten to see Chad before we leave...” He mused. Hayley stared down into the sink, holding firmly onto the counter with white knuckles as if to steady herself. “..I needed to give him bac-”  
She interrupted him, all color drained from her face, “We broke up.” Taylor was stunned. Had he just heard her utter those three words? Hayley and Chad had been the closest, most sure couple he'd ever known. They'd been together the longest, told each other everything, and were basically the definition of love. Or so he'd thought. All he knew was that as hard as that had hit him, it must have been a billion times worse for Hayley. As her back remained turned to him, he slowly stood up and approached her small form.  
“Hayley..” He said softly, coming towards her with open arms. His sympathy was apparently unwarranted. She turned sharply to face him, her expression dead and uninviting.  
“I don't need your pity.” She spat the words with icy venom and turned away from him once again. Angrily throwing the rest of the dishes into the sink, she marched past Taylor out of the kitchen and fled to the bathroom. Standing facing where Hayley had previously stood, Taylor was shocked. In all the years he'd known her, that had never happened. He'd never seen her snap like that toward anyone. Walking slowly over to the sofa, he tried not to take it personally. “I'll just let her cool off I guess..” He thought, slightly dazed, sitting and waiting for her to calm down and get ready.  
Safe inside her tiny bathroom, Hayley slammed the door and sank to the floor against it. Her breathing was ragged, and it took her a minute or so to calm down until she was confident she wouldn't cry. Standing and looking at herself in the mirror, she quietly spoke.  
“What the hell, Hayley?” Her hands held either side of her head, as if she were studying it intently. Which she was, actually. She let one hand drop to the marble counter top and allowed the other to graze the soft skin beneath her eye. Staring at her duplicate, she tried to figure out what had just happened. Maybe it was a defense mechanism her subconscious had put in place to avoid talking about- she felt a lump in her throat at the thought,- Chad? She had no clue but she certainly didn't want it to happen again. She chastised her subconscious. Bitching at Taylor? Not cool. That was a no-no. Deciding she had to be more aware of herself, so this situation wouldn't repeat itself, Hayley shook herself from her thoughts, turned on the faucet and dipped her face into cupped hands. Grabbing a towel from the rack, she dried her face and was met with a knock on the door.  
“Ye?” She called. She was surprised at how small her voice sounded. Like, c'mon Hayley, you're gonna apologize to him and it'll be fine. Really, she told herself, taking a breath.  
“We've gotta go in 20 minutes,” Taylor replied. Hayley's heart dropped when she heard his voice. It was like he was trying to sound casual, but it wasn't working and you could hear the confusion resonating in his voice. As soon as she heard his footsteps beginning to retreat, she hesitantly opened the door and shuffled toward him with her eyes at her feet. He turned around, hearing her at his heels. She stood about 6 inches shorter than the guitarist, who fell 2 inches shy from 6 feet. They stood in silence for a moment before they both began to speak at the same time.  
“Do you need something?”  
“Taylor I'm really sorry.” They spoke quickly and then caught their tongues, waiting for the other to speak again.  
“You go,” Taylor said, exasperated.  
“I'm really sorry dude. I.. I don't know why I did that..” She said as Taylor nodded. The redhead gave him an apologetic smile and shuffled towards him, wrapping her arms around him as he sighed and returned the gesture, giving her a reassuring squeeze.  
“Touchy subject, I guess,” Taylor concluded as they parted, “we won't say a word about him if you don't want.” Hayley smiled.  
“That would be perfect,” She breathed, visibly relieved. With that resolved, for the time being at least, Hayley ran off to her bedroom, tearing through her closet, settling for a pair of sweatpants and a black V-neck. Once she was dressed she ran out of her room, glancing at the clock on the wall. She had 13 minutes. “C'MON HELP ME,” She yelled as she passed Taylor, bounding down the stairs to the basement where she retrieved her suitcase. As she brought it to her room she and Taylor began throwing anything and everything into the suitcase.  
“How many pairs of jeans?” Taylor asked.  
“I DON'T KNOW, 4,” Hayley replied.  
“I'LL GET SHIRTS,”  
“GOT 2 SWEATERS,”  
“DOES IT MATTER IF YOUR UNDERWEAR MATCHES YOUR BRAS,”  
“...Taylor.. That’s weird.. I'll handle those..” Hayley said, taking her bras from Taylor. They laughed as Hayley packed a couple final items, and went to grab toiletries from the bathroom. “Alright,” She said, as they attempted to close it, “that was impressive time.”  
Hayley hopped up on the bed and jumped on top of the suitcase, holding it down beneath her. Taylor struggled to find the zipper, but managed to get it shut. Hayley rolled off the bed and shrugged into a jacket and some vans.  
“Ready?” Taylor asked, picking up the luggage.  
“Yep!” the redhead smiled as she grabbed her phone and walked out the door, locking it behind them.  
\--  
At the airport the two were greeted by Jeremy and Kat.  
“There you are, we were beginning to think you'd both gotten lost!” Kat laughed as she greeted the two of them with tight hugs.  
“Nooo, not lost, just asleep.” Taylor said, looking at Hayley who was blushing.  
“I'm sorry!!” Hayley said as everyone laughed.  
“Hey, where's..-” Jeremy began, but Taylor cut him off with a glare, pulling him and a confused Kat aside while Hayley sighed at her feet. The three huddled with whispers a little bit away from Hayley as Taylor explained the situation. Hayley watched as one by one their heads looked up and back at her, concern and realization filling their faces. Taylor drew everything to a close, pulling the couple back to Hayley. As Taylor stood next to Hayley again, she whispered “thankyou,” as he nodded in reply. Things were suddenly tense and quiet between the group. An announcement over the PA broke the absence of words.  
Flight 2610 leaving in 10 minutes, it blared.  
“That's me,” Kat said, as Jeremy frowned. It had been arranged that while Paramore was touring South America, Kat would go back home to visit her family. Jeremy pulled her into a big fluffy hug full of beard and love. After the couple broke their embrace, next was Taylor to receive a hug from Kat. Last of all was Hayley. Kat pulled her into a hug lasting for almost as long as her husband's. As the two women parted, Kat held on to Hayley's hands. She looked up at the brunette with an unconvincing smile.  
“Everything will be ok,” Kat whispered to her, squeezing her hands. Hayley nodded, looking at her shoes when she realized her eyes were beginning to tear up. Not here, not now she thought. She took a step forward, surprising Kat with a second hug, tighter and more urgent than the first. Trying to control her breathing, Hayley didn't want to move. Ever. She was now realizing how Kat could give such great hugs. “I have to go, Hayley,” Kat said quietly as the redhead sighed, unwrapping her arms from around her.  
She tried to flash an unconvincing smile as they stepped back, Kat saying a final goodbye to the trio. As she turned and walked to her gate, the band was left alone. Without communicating, they began the march to their own gate, and eventually boarded their flight to Brazil. As the plane idled on the runway, Hayley was left alone with her thoughts. Even with Jeremy to her right and the window to her left, seat 4A felt like the loneliest place on earth, she thought to herself. All she could do was close her eyes and hope for sleep.


	2. Were you crying?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Any restful sleep eludes Hayley on the flight, and the crowd at the airport is insane. She finds herself starstruck and making a fool of herself a few minutes later.

Chapter 2.

As the plane began to rumble for takeoff, Hayley closed her eyes. She was desperate to just sleep the ride away, but before the attendant even had time to finish saying “You are now free to move about the cabin,” fans' safety restraints could be heard snapping open. With excited murmurs, the hoard slowly and nervously closed in around the trio. Hayley sighed internally. “I love you guys, I really do, but I'm so not up for this right now..” She thought, opening her eyes to the little crowd that had formed around their seats. As Taylor talked with the eager fans, Jeremy turned to Hayley.  
“You want us to handle it?” He asked quietly.  
“No, it's fine,” She whispered back, even though she really wasn't up to it. Putting on her best smile, Hayley took a deep breath and greeted the fans. It wasn't too bad, a few pictures and signings, even a couple impromptu gifts. During all the commotion, someone managed to slip Taylor's beanie away. 'Crazy kids..' Hayley thought with a smile when everyone noticed and laughed. It was an unspoken rule that Hayley always got the window seat on flights, for exactly this reason. The fans could be a little too touchy sometimes, and one boob grab had been enough for the redhead. So, for the past year and a half, since that one awkward flight, Hayley had gotten the safety of the seat furthest from the aisle.  
As the fans made their way back to their seats, grinning with excitement and leftover nerves, one hung around still.  
“God I love them,” Jeremy yawned as he tried to stretch a little bit in the confines of the seat.  
“We love you too,” giggled a voice from in front of Hayley. The three paused, now aware that there was still a fan. “Right here,” they heard, as a head popped up from behind the seat in front of Hayley. “Jackson,” he said, introducing himself and sticking his hand toward Hayley. Startled, she stared at it for a moment before realizing she was supposed to shake it. Right. Shake hands with the fan. Get yourself together, Hayley, she thought as she took his hand lightly.  
“So whatcha doin'?” He asked, making up for any lack of energy on the band's part.  
“Uhh, sitting, same as you,” Jeremy laughed.  
“Yeah, hoping to get some sleep..” Hayley said, clearly hinting that they didn't want to talk.  
“Oh, that's cool,” the boy chirped. He must not have been older than 17, Hayley thought. “Are you excited for the tour?” He continued animatedly.  
“Stoked.” Taylor replied, as Jeremy and Hayley exchanged a look.  
“Hayley, will you marry me?” Jackson piped up again, as Hayley laughed. Before she could reply, he continued. “Of course I suppose I'd have to ask Chad..,” Hayley's face dropped, but Jackson didn't notice. “How's he doing, anyway? I-” Jeremy stopped him right there.  
“Hey, Jackson, it's been real nice talking to you and all, but we're pretty beat, so if we could try and catch some Z's, that'd be great..”  
But it would take more than that to get rid of someone as persistent as him. As Jackson kept trying to talk to Hayley, she closed her eyes, trying desperately to tune out the rude kid. Her eyes explored the backs of her lids while she heard Taylor talking in hushed tones to someone, most likely Jackson, she concluded, seeing as his constant babble had paused.  
She listened to Taylor's voice, Jeremy joining in as well. As close as they were, they must've been taking great care to not let Hayley hear them, because she couldn't make out a word they said. However, she heard Jeremy's voice reach an almost growl that she'd never heard before. With this she opened her eyes to see the guys sitting back and Jackson turning around quickly. Whatever had been said, she didn't care. Honestly she was just glad to have some quiet on this flight that had been miraculously without any small children.  
Leaning her seat back a little bit, (she never put it all the way, for fear of causing discomfort to the person behind her,) she settled into the leathery upholstery, making herself as comfortable as possible, (which for someone as small as Hayley, is actually quite comfortable as it turns out.)  
Not a minute must've passed before her thoughts began bringing her back to dark places. She almost missed the distraction of the energetic fans. There was nothing she could do though, to stop her mind from going where it was going. Chad.

Taking a deep breath, Hayley turned the key in the ignition, finally turning off the car. She'd been idling in the parking space at the restaurant for 2 or 3 minutes by now, the only spot where she could see Chad, but he couldn't see her. She did this every time they met up there. It gave her a moment to get herself together before getting out to meet him where he always waited for her, on the bench just outside the front doors. Even after all these years, a date with Chad was still more than enough to fill Hayley with butterflies. Checking her winged eyeliner one last time in the mirror, she stepped out of the car, locking it as she walked away.  
When she rounded the car, the guitarist’s head lifted at the sound of her footsteps. He smiled at her, standing up to meet her. His stunning smile, however, was betrayed by his eyes which were wanting of their usual loving gaze. Hayley pretended not to notice. This had been going on for a while, admittedly. Hayley picking up on little things that were different abut Chad, that is. For the past couple months it'd been kind of weird, but Hayley had gotten used to it. She'd tried talking to him about it, but it just ended in a fight each time, so she had just decided to wait and hope for things to turn out okay.  
Hayley went for a kiss, Chad went for a hug. Needless to say, an uncomfortable moment ensued. They walked in silence into the restaurant, sitting down and waiting for the server. The dinner went not badly, but quietly and awkwardly. Okay, yeah. It went badly. As Hayley poked at her vegetable dish, Chad spoke up.  
“Hayley, I've been thinking..” He began. She looked up, giving him her full attention. He became more flustered. “Um, there's no easy way to say this, I think we should break up.”  
“Why?” Hayley asked.  
“I, I just don't think it's working out..”  
“Give me a reason,”  
“.....uh,”  
“…”  
“...” Up until this point, Hayley's face had been unreadable and completely void of expression. Now she broke her stare, averting her eyes to the tablecloth. Before she spoke again, however, she lifted her head, looking him dead in the eyes once more.  
“What's her name?” Her voice wavered and her hands folded on the table were trembling.  
“..I don't know what you..”  
“What's. her. name.” Hayley repeated.  
“...It's really not my place to tell you..” He mumbled. What the hell did that mean?  
“Tell me her name.” She demanded, repeating when he said nothing, “CHAD. TELL ME.” He sighed in resignation.  
“Can you calm down.. People are staring, you're being crazy..” He sighed, as Hayley stood up, laughing.  
“crAZY? CRAZY? I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE CRAZY GIRLS, CHAD.” Chad stood up, taking Hayley's wrist, attempting to lead her outside. She flinched away at his touch.  
“What the hell? Why would you do that?” She cried. That hurt. Chad knew not to grab her by the wrists. The fact that he did that, knowing what he knew.. Well that was the most upsetting part of this all.. She turned, storming out of the restaurant, much to the relief of the shy little manager who'd been watching the scene in horror, along with the rest of the room. Chad tried to flash an apologetic smile to the room, slapping his MasterCard on the table before running out after the redhead. He caught up to her just as she was going to get in her car. Hearing him, she turned around, her eyes acting as windows, showing her shattered interior.  
“Dakota,” he said simply, watching her face contort with realization, anger, and betrayal.  
“Fuck you.” She got in the car and slammed the door. With tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, she pulled away from Chad's watchful eyes and into rush hour traffic. As she drove she kept a clenched jaw. Every muscle was held tense as if she were a spring loaded weapon, waiting to be released. There was no sound except for that of the tires treading steadily over the tarred gravel road. “Dakota... Chad... Dak...Chad... Dak... Chad... Dak...” It was all she could think. Her best friend..  
She was startled from her agonizing mantra by the sharp ring of her phone lying on the seat beside her. With wary eyes and a shaky sigh, she answered it on the second ring.  
“What?” She snapped, forgoing a proper greeting. She knew who it was without even having to check the caller ID.  
“Don't forget, Hayley..” Chad said, “Don't forget what I know.. and don't think I wouldn't tell someone, if the need were to arise..”  
“I know,” Hayley whispered. She waited for a reply, and after a moment was greeted by the click of Chad's hanging up. Her face, previously flushed was now a ghostly white, paler than even her usual color. Trying to keep her eyes open and see through the incessant tears, the redhead struggled to find any oxygen in the air she breathed. Drowning, she thought as she gasped for air, I'm drowning. Sobbing and beginning to hyperventilate, she seemed to be suffocating in her small car. Luckily, she had just reached home, tumbling out of the car to her knees on the ground. Hayley sobbed in the dead grass, and the sky began to cry along with her..

“Hayley.. Hey.. It's just a bad dream.. Hayles?” Jeremy was shaking the sleeping redhead on his shoulder gently as she finally began to regain consciousness. Hayley gasped, her eyes snapping open. All she could see were blurry faces through the tears that filled her eyes. She felt arms wrap around her as she curled forward, hugging her knees. Freeing herself from fluffy Jeremy's hug, Hayley stood up, shuffling past him and Taylor. As she walked down the aisle to the bathroom, she felt all eyes on her. Keeping her head down and trying to keep the sniffling to a minimum, she slowly made her way to the back. As she neared the bathroom, a small voice stopped her for a moment.  
“..Hayley? Are you okay?” A girl with pink hair asked, looking up at the singer with concern. Hayley nodded, smiling a little bit, and thanked the fan. They care so much.. Hayley thought, closing the door behind her. The fans never failed to awe her with how amazing they were. Part of her, though, kept thinking, “But she wouldn't care if she really knew.. She shouldn't.. None of them would or should give a shit about me if they knew.. They're gonna find out eventually.. Chad.. But they can't know.. I can't go back..” As she turned around in the small lavatory, Hayley cringed at her makeup. It was smudged down her cheeks with still drying tears. Just as she was about to wash it off, the pilot's voice resonated throughout the cabins.  
“If everyone will please return to their seats, we'll be landing shortly. You'll notice the safety restraint lights have turned back on, so again, please don't move about the cabin.” Hayley sighed, going to turn on the faucet, however she was interrupted once more by a spot of heavy turbulence shaking the room. She stumbled, hitting her head on the wall, resulting with a heavy clattering noise as she bumped into the shelf, causing it and many rolls of toilet paper to fall to the floor.  
“Jesus Christ,” She snapped loudly, regaining her balance and bitterly rubbing the spot on the back of her skull. A knock on the door affirmed finally that she surely wouldn't be getting to wash her face off anytime soon. She opened the door, still muttering to herself, to find the entirety of the cabin staring at her. Turning bright red to match her hair, Hayley flew back to her seat, her eyes glued to the floor. As she scooted past Taylor and Jeremy again, none of them said a word. After she had sat down and refastened her seatbelt, Jeremy chuckled.  
“..You okay?”  
“Shut up,” Hayley smiled. The three laughed and sat back as the pilot brought them and the rest of the passengers into the realm of the huge Sao Paulo airport.  
As huge as the airport was, it seemed cramped compared to the last time the band had been there. Packed with screaming fans waving cameras, signs, albums, and sharpies, the atmosphere was crazy, to say the least. As security assured the band their luggage was taken care of, the trio was shoved through the hoards of fans, taking care to stick together. Tried as they might've, within a minute they were torn apart. All Hayley knew was that she was lost in a whirlwind of grabs and hands and people who were taller than her. She heard her name being screamed from all directions. Drowning in a sea of fans, she was terrified. “Guys, I'll see you at the show tomorrow, I- I'm lost, someone help?” She stuttered to the fans immediately surrounding her. Eliciting no response, she sighed, yelling for help, or where she was supposed to go.  
“Jeremy? Taylor? Adam?” She shouted, brushing through the sea of bodies. Being so short, it was hard to search for her guys. Meanwhile, just a short ways away, Taylor and Jeremy were spinning around looking for any bursts of bright orange. Seeing many fans with orange hair, they couldn't see Hayley anywhere. As the crowd gradually was becoming wilder, the security ushered the boys along, telling them they'd find Hayley.  
“No, we can't just leave her in there!” Jeremy protested.  
“They're gonna rip her apart!”  
“Can't we stay just another minute, she'll come around!”  
Their pleas were ignored as security began pushing them along to the waiting limousine. Just as they had pretty much given up, Hayley appeared, clawing her way from the grasp of the Paramore – crazed fans. Security rushed forward to pull her out of the abyss and over the gate none of them knew how she'd gotten behind. As she caught her breath and ran a hand through her hair, the group heard a clattering sound as they turned to see the barrier falling and fans running toward them.  
“You've GOT to be kidding me,” Hayley breathed.  
“gO, C'MON GUYS WE'VE GOTTA MOVE,” the guard huffed, herding the trio along through the crowd, all of them running. As they got outside they saw a few limousines waiting, both with signs on the windows that read “Paramore & Support.” Damn.  
Hayley didn't wait to be told which one she was supposed to get in, she just kept running, throwing open the sleek black door and barreling inside. As the guys went for the other limo, she slammed the door quickly, seeing the approaching hoards. The state of the airport was a near riot. No pun intended. As she peeled herself from the floor of the spacious interior, she saw a pair of feet right at her eyes. As she followed the feet to their respective body, her mouth fell open in shock. Was she in the same limo as Lights? The brunette looked at her with concern before she spoke softly.  
“Were you crying?”


	3. Still Cold?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pool and stuff idk

“Were you crying?”  
Hayley was speechless. She could barely hear the pounding of the fans on the outside. The whole world seemed to cease to exist except for the little space the two shared in the back of the limo. Staring at Lights, she tried to find words. Crying. Oh shit, her face was still all fucked up, right. She was so embarrassed. Why was Lights even in here though? Was she herself in the wrong place? Fuckfuckfuckfuck.  
“I- I'm so sorry, am I in the wrong place oh my god I'm sorry,” Hayley rambled as she moved back towards the door, blindly feeling for the handle, for she couldn't tear her eyes from the gorgeous woman in front of her.  
“No! You're in the right place,” the brunette said, reaching forward to take Hayley's hand, having her sit down again. Half of Hayley's thoughts told her to look at her feet in embarrassment and the other half wouldn't allow her to tear her gaze from Lights. Because of this, her consciousness settled for looking back and forth between Lights and the floor like some stupid ginger bobble head. Hayley decided finally to settle in the middle, resting her gaze on Lights' midsection.  
“Um,” Lights said quietly, as Hayley's green eyes snapped back up to meet hers. DAMMIT HAYLEY SHE THINKS YOU WERE STARING AT HER BOOBS OH MY GOD. She screamed internally, turning bright red. She forced her head down to the floor once more.  
“Uh, are you alright though?” Lights asked, dismissing the accidental boob moment.  
“Yeah, I- I'm fine,” Hayley stammered, “sorry I'm such a mess.. It was crazy.. The fans got hold of me and I got lost, and then FBR never told us who we were touring with.. I'm sorry, I just, I mean, you, I'm a huge fan of your stuff. And by stuff I mean music. And yeah oh god I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone forever now.”  
She's adorable.. Lights thought, smiling.  
“Hey, no worries.” She said as Hayley smiled back. They sat in silence for the rest of the ride. It wasn't awkward so much as both of the women were wrapped up in their thoughts.  
Once they arrived at the hotel Hayley and Lights met with the guys in the lobby. Introductions were in order.  
“Uh, Lights, this is Jeremy and Taylor.” Hayley said, taking initiative.  
“I know,” Lights said with a laugh.  
“Cool,” they both said in unison, followed by laughter. After checking in, the four headed up to their floor, checking out the two suites they were staying in. Each had two bedrooms and a living room/kitchen combination. Connected by a stubborn door that wouldn't close all the way, the suites were more than Lights had ever had the luxury of staying in.   
“This is so nice..” Lights said quietly as she pet the arm of a velvety sofa. Hayley and the guys laughed.  
“You sure? It's really small..” Jeremy chuckled. Lights looked up at him to see if he was kidding or not. Everyone else got quiet, realizing she was seriously in awe of the suite.  
“Guys.. Wow..” She laughed, “It's certainly nicer than the back of a van..” She said as everyone laughed with her. It was easy to forget that Lights wasn't as big as Paramore. Yet.. Hayley thought, smiling. She really adored all of her music.  
“Guys I heard there's this really great restaurant a little ways away..” Jeremy said excitedly, looking up from his phone.  
“Yeah? Let's go,” Taylor said, as he rolled off the couch and onto his feet.  
The four piled into the rental car FBR had provided, Taylor driving and Jerm calling shotgun. The girls climbed in the back as they took off into the city. Dinner passed quickly and soon enough they were swinging open the loose doors again and falling back into the car. Trying to function through their food comas, the musicians eventually pulled out of parking lot. As Jeremy drove this time, the car was quiet with the contentment brought on by their dinners. Speeding through the city, the sunlight was fleeting away from the sky and under the shadows of the buildings which loomed overhead.  
Inside the car, the atmosphere was drowsy and someone was beginning to doze off. Lights nodded down to Hayley's shoulder, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. Hayley turned as soon as she realized Lights had fallen asleep. As she saw the girl curled up beside her, she smiled. Looking down at her, she allowed herself to stare. There was something about her, Lights. Maybe it was her face. God, her face. Gorgeous. There were her eyes, deep brown with that twinkle of an unexplainable adventurous spirit. And her perfect makeup, Hayley was envious. Then there was her nose, weirdly cute, Hayley thought with another smile. And her skin was perfect. Ugh. Or it could've been her hair, long and dark, always perfectly tousled to the side and cascading over one shoulder. As Hayley looked now, she saw a piece caught astray between her lips. Her lips. Oh man,-  
Hayley turned bright red as she was startled from her thoughts by a hiccup from Jeremy. However, she couldn't suppress a quiet laugh, matched by a snort from Taylor. As Hayley laughed, Lights stirred awake, but not moving so much as to let Hayley known she'd woken up. She admittedly didn't want to move from her shoulder. Hayley smelled really, really good. Unfortunately, her nirvana was interrupted as the car pulled back into the garage of the hotel. Pulling up to the curb, a bump had everyone falling over or hitting their heads against the windows. As groans resonated throughout the interior, Lights sat up, mumbling with pretend leftover sleepiness. She mentally slapped herself. C'mon.. She sighed to herself, what are you doing.. Stop crushing on Hayley.. She’s got Chad anyway.. Plus she doesn't even like girls.. Let alone you..  
Hayley looked to the brunette stretching beside her.  
“Hey there,” She said as Lights snapped from her thoughts.  
“Ahh. Sorry I fell asleep on you..”  
“It's fine!”  
“Food coma?” Jeremy asked, opening the door.  
“Yeaah,” Lights laughed, although she was still down on herself for forgetting about Chad. As the guys walked inside, Lights waited for the redhead.  
“How is he anyway?” She asked suddenly, looking at the ground while she hung back with Hayley who was still climbing out of the car. Hayley froze. She knew who Lights was talking about but she still waited for her to finish the question. “Chad, I mean,” She finished, sure enough. Hayley sighed. Opposing the invincible feeling she'd had with Lights on her shoulder earlier, she felt small and scared and lonely again at the mention of his name. She'd been trying her best to avoid him in her thoughts, but she could only run for so long. She was doing really well, actually. Having Lights around distracted her from the broken heart she was harboring deep down. Either way, she was going to have to talk about it sooner or later. Later, she decided. Keep it short and to the point, she thought as she breathed her reply,  
“We broke up.”  
“Oh- I- When?”  
“Yesterday.”  
“... Oh my god.”  
Hayley said nothing, taking her turn to look at the floor while Lights stared at her.  
“Are.. you okay..?” Lights started, “No, stupid, of course you're not. I'm sorry..” She came towards her, enveloping her in a tight hug. Hesitant at first, Hayley brought her arms up and hugged Lights back. It was the first time she'd allowed someone to comfort her, and unlike with Taylor, she didn't want to push away. As she slowly rested her head on Lights' shoulder she closed her eyes. After a moment she took a deep breath, mumbled and stepped back.  
“I don't wanna cry.. I'm sorry, I'm fine,” Hayley said, wiping her eyes. “C'mon, let's go catch up with the guys.” Suddenly cheery again, she took Lights' hand and pulled her towards the door inside. Arriving back outside the room, Lights reached for the door handle before it swung open, revealing an excited Jeremy almost barreling into the two.  
“There y'all are! I was just about to go and see if you'd both fallen down the stairs or something. Anyways, there's a pool. With a slide. C'mon, we'll meet you down there!” He raced past them, followed by Taylor.  
“Well,” Lights laughed, “I guess we're swimming.”  
“I guess so,” Hayley concurred. Inside, they split into their rooms, digging through their luggage for bathing suits. As Lights struggled to tie her bikini, she couldn't stop thinking about what she'd just learned. Hayley was single? Nonono, doesn't matter. She's still completely straight. And heartbroken.. The poor girl.. Lights hadn't known much about Chad and Hayley, but from the look in Hayley's eyes, she seemed devastated. However, she thought curiously, as much emotion as there was, Hayley had been able to push it all down and away within a second. She can't just not talk about it forever.. Whatever, not my place. After all, I barely know her.. Well, sort of. They weren't total strangers or anything, in fact they talked over twitter quite a lot in the past. It was just that they'd never discussed anything personal. Now that Lights thought about it, they'd talked about nearly everything except for their own lives.. Some nights they'd stayed up all night, just freaking out over some new record. They were like best internet friends. But now, being here together in person, well everything was new.  
Lights finally got the tie done behind her back and threw on a big T-shirt, heading over to Hayley's room. She found the redhead slipping into a pair of sandals, turning to smile at her as her presence was made known.  
“Ready?” Lights smiled back.  
“Let's gooo,” Hayley said, skipping to the door. In the hallway the two walked side by side. Lights looked at their feet, walking in sync. She glanced at Hayley on her right, who looked back up at her.  
“What?” She asked, smiling and cocking her head. Had she been staring? Oops.  
“N-nothing,” Lights stammered, you're just beautiful, she continued in her head, shrugging and looking back down to the heavily trodden beige carpet. Soon enough they'd reached the pool, opening the glass doors and stepping outside into the oasis of humidity and chlorination. Their ears immediately found Taylor and Jeremy, a mixture of manly shouts and splashes coming from the direction of the slide. The girls walked over, grabbing towels from a cart and throwing them on the white chairs that surrounded the perimeter. Lights stripped off her shirt, followed by Hayley. After the two had tossed their shirts behind them, they both caught sight of eachother. A combination of their thoughts sounded something like this;  
“Oh my god.. She's.. She's.. Oh my god.. Body.. Oh my god.. Wow..”  
“Hey guys!” Jeremy interrupted, Taylor resurfacing beside him.  
“Lookin' goood, ladies!” He called, as Lights blushed. It was obviously directed towards her, Taylor had never cat-called at Hayley.  
“Get in here!” Jerm said with his hillbilly twang, splashing water up at them.  
“Is it cold?” Hayley asked, nearing the edge.  
“Not at all, c'mon, get in!” Taylor urged, swimming over to Hayley as she bent down to feel the water.  
“Oh nonONONONO, DON'T-” She yelled, scrambling to back away but Taylor already had her hand and pulled her tumbling into the water.  
“dUUUDE, IT'S FREEZING!” She gasped as she came up, attacking Taylor with splashes. Lights stood far enough away to avoid getting wet, but the three in the water beckoned to her like sirens.  
“C'mon!” From Jeremy,  
“I'll have to pull you in too!” From Taylor,  
“I promise it's not that cold!” From Hayley. The brunette sighed with a smile, running and jumping into the water with the others. They cheered for her as she wiped under her eyes, mascara running. Even with the dark makeup running down her cheeks, nobody could deny she was drop dead gorgeous. The moonlight shone off the water and glistened in her hair. Paramore was staring and Lights still hadn't noticed. Jeremy, being married, was the first to break the silence.  
“Let's try out the slide!” He said, swimming towards the stairs.  
“You guys haven't done it yet?” Lights asked, breaking Taylor and Hayley out of their stupor.  
“Ah, uh, no, we were waiting for you two,” Taylor stuttered, not making eye contact.  
“Cool, let's go then,” Hayley said, joining Jeremy. The four walked up and up and up all the stairs to the top of the slide, which was actually quite impressive.  
“Damn,” Hayley mused, looking down over the edge of the railing.  
“Right?” Taylor agreed, stepping closer to the middle of the platform.  
“Y'all are a bunch of babies,” Jeremy laughed, suddenly throwing himself down the tube slide. His howls echoed back up to the remaining three, who laughed as he shot out the bottom on his stomach.  
“Alright, who's next?” He yelled back up to them.  
“I'll go!” Lights volunteered, hurtling down the slide after him. When she reached the bottom, she and Jeremy looked back up expectantly to see who'd go next. Hayley and Taylor looked at each other. Within a second they were both trying to shove the other out of the way to get down the slide first. Hayley had one leg in and was trying to push off with one arm, but Taylor had hold of the other and wouldn't let her go.  
“Let me go,” She huffed, pushing against him trying to get free.  
“Never,” He declared, pulling her out of the tube and diving down it before she could stop him. Victory yells could be heard as he rode down the swirly slide. Hayley smiled and shook her head, following him with less vigor. Back down in the pool again, it was decided they'd play marco polo. Hayley sunk under the water, spinning around and counting on her fingers held above the surface. She shot upwards as she hit ten,  
“TEN!” She exclaimed, eyes shut, listening for any sounds. “Marco,” she called, receiving a few whispered polos in reply. She heard splash to her left. She moved quickly towards the sound, hearing it move again. She did her best to follow, arms extended outwards to catch anyone in her path. Wait, there's something. Beard. She felt beard.  
“Got you!” She said, opening her eyes, expecting to see Jeremy. Oh shit. Not Jeremy. NOT. JEREMY. “OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY,” She exclaimed, patting the man's mustache back into place, “I'm so, so sorry, I'm so sorry,” She said quietly, retreating as quickly as she could. The man muttered something in Portuguese and sighed tiredly. Hayley got back to the others, eyes wide and clearly terrified.  
“Don't. Say. A word.” She said slowly, as everyone looked at her before bursting into laughter. “Shut uppp,” She smiled.  
“Oh my gosh, that was great,” Jeremy laughed, wiping tears from his eyes.  
“Well I'm not closing my eyes again. Maybe ever,” Hayley said, shaking her head, “It's someone else's turn.”  
“Well I don't wanna,” Jerm said, backing away.  
“Me neither,” Taylor and Lights said simultaneously.  
“Well one of you's gonna have to,” Hayley retorted.  
“Okay, whoever can hold their breath for the least amount of time has to do it,” Jeremy suggested. He was met with jeers and disagreement from Taylor.  
“Noooo, not fair, you can hold your breath so long,” He objected.  
“I think it's a good idea. I'll be the judge, on the count of three,” Hayley confirmed, “One.. Two.. Three! Taylor. Get under, you cheater.” She sat on the edge of the pool and watched as the three stayed under the water and begin to squirm for air. Well, not Jeremy. Jeremy was something of a mermaid. Excuse me, *merman, Hayley thought, correcting herself. Soon enough, Lights rose to the surface, gasping for air. She looked around, after having caught her breath.  
“Aw man,” She smiled, as Hayley hopped back in.  
“Guys, it's over,” Hayley called, poking each one to get them to come back up.  
“Yeaah!” Jeremy whooped, clearly pleased with himself. Taylor eyed Hayley, giving her a look that asked if she was going to rat him out. She shook her head with a half smile as he returned it.  
“Alright, Lights is the Marco. I mean Polo? I- You know. The one who says Marco,” Taylor announced, as everyone laughed.  
“Alright alright, I spin around and count to ten?” She asked.  
“Yeah. Underwater,” Jeremy clarified. Lights started counting and the remaining three scattered around the pool.  
“TEN!” She announced to the silence, ears keen, listening. “Marco?” Polos were returned to her from various directions. She moved towards Jeremy's voice, deciding to avenge Hayley's false alarm. “Marco?” Again. Closer. She heard splish splash noises from a little in front of her. “Marco?” She heard squeals and another couple polos, close together this time.  
“Nooo! Dude!” Hayley squealed as Lights got closer to the noise. She felt around the air in front of her finding nothing.  
“Marco!”  
“AaaAAhHH!” Hayley cried as Jeremy kept calling out.  
“Over here! Polo polo polo!! Right here!” He called, as Lights followed his voice. There. She felt something. Squishy. She opened her eyes and turned bright red. Jeremy was holding a blushing Hayley up as a human shield, and Lights had managed to grope her.  
“Well hello there,” Hayley managed to say between laughs. Jeremy put her down and Lights was still embarrassed.  
“I'm sorry!” She blurted out, completely flustered. Hayley laughed.  
“Hey it's fine,” She said, moving closer. Before Lights knew what was happening, Hayley had her hand on her boob. “Now we're even!” She said shyly, taking her hand back and floating away causally. Lights was speechless.  
“Guys, I'm not being It again,” Hayley announced, “I think it's Taylor's turn.”  
“Noooo!”  
“Yeah dude, it's your turn,” Jeremy agreed. Taylor sighed, going underwater and beginning his count.  
“TEN!” And the game had begun. Hayley and Lights stayed together, strategically throwing beachballs away from themselves to divert his attention. They couldn't stay hidden forever, though.  
“Marco!” Taylor called, the girls and Jeremy calling back in reply. Of course he came right towards them. Panicking, they split, swimming as quickly and quietly as possible. Taylor followed in the direction of Lights, almost scarily accurate. He called out again, gaining more accuracy as he continued. Zeroing in on her, he was cornering the brunette. She shot pleading looks to the remaining two, as they desperately tried to save her.  
“Over here!” Jeremy called, splashing and making noise.  
“Right behind you oh my god,” Hayley yelled, trying to get him to turn around. Their efforts were in vain, for he moved closer and closer, closing the gap between himself and Lights.  
“Nooooo!” She cried, as he reached out in front of him. His hand found her, and an obvious boob, which he blatantly grabbed. Opening his eyes, Lights gave him a look.  
“Really?” She laughed.  
“Duude, come on, that's so cheap,” Jeremy called, “At least make it look like an accident, that was obvious cheating right there.” He continued talking over Taylor's protests. “That boob grab was so spot on, you totally were looking,”  
“I wasn't!” Taylor protested with a smirk as he and Lights made their way back to the center.  
“You were totally cheating, I saw you open your eyes!” Lights said, pushing Taylor who splashed her back. Hayley was quiet. Taylor obviously liked her. And that bothered her. A lot. And that fucking boob grab? What the hell. Just.. Don't touch her.. Hayley thought, with a sigh, Wait. Why do I even care? It's not like I.. like her? Who am I kidding. I totally like her. Fuck.. She was brought back to the situation at hand by Lights calling her name.  
“Hayley? Help!” She yelped. She was totally being crushed by the guys' relentless splashing.  
“I'm coming!” She swam over to help battle the dudes. They fought valiantly, finding a raft which they huddled underneath for cover. Giggling, they whispered beneath the foam fort.  
“Should we surrender?” Lights asked,  
“No.. Well, maybe-”  
“Oh, I've an idea!” The two took a moment to discuss a plan of action beneath their cover which was being barraged with water. They jumped up, overturning the raft onto the guys in front of them. While they were startled, Hayley and Lights started splashing them like no one had ever splashed before.  
“Okay, okay, we surrender!” Taylor yelled to be heard above the water. A cease-fire agreement was reached and peace returned to the pool. Well, for everyone except for that one man. The one with the mustache. He was quite disturbed by all the ruckus.  
“Hey, there's a hot tub,” Lights observed, climbing out of the pool to try it out. Hayley couldn't help but watch her. Before she could say she was coming too, Taylor beat her to it.  
“Ooh, I wanna try it,” He said, quickly getting out to follow the brunette. Hayley sighed. She didn't ship this. She got out of the pool as well, but walked over to the chairs to get her towel. Wrapping it around herself, she started to go inside.  
“Where you going?” Jerm asked, catching her before she reached the door.  
“Oh, uh, I dunno. I'm kinda tired, I'm gonna go inside,” She sighed.  
“Hey, I'll come with you,” Lights said, getting her towel and following her. Taylor frowned, to which Hayley shook her head. Taylor, dude, I love you.. But stop.. Please..  
Hayley and Lights walked inside and got to the rooms, both looking for their keys.  
“Oh, right,” Lights said, remembering that they didn't have keys. The rooms had pin codes instead. It was all quite fancy. Inside, Hayley went to her room and Lights went to hers. Changing into a bra, she looked through her suitcase for a sweatshirt. Why did hotel rooms always have to be so cold? Ohh, right, she thought, remembering the whereabouts of her hoodie, I left it in Aaron's car.. Maybe I can borrow one from Hayley? Leaving her room and going to Paramore's suite, she stood outside Hayley's room with her back to the door.  
“Hayley? Do you have a sweatshirt I could borrow?” She called. There was a pause before Hayley's reply.  
“Yeah, I think I've got one,” She responded. Lights sighed, wrapping her arms around her ribs. The only reason she was only wearing a bra was because she couldn't wear a sweatshirt with a shirt underneath.. it was like too much layering. The same applied to sleeping with pants on. She couldn't stand either. She stared at the painting on the wall she faced. She started to count the dots in it, it was one of those done with stippling. Stepping closer, as to see it better, she reached 50. She sighed again. What was taking Hayley so long?  
“Hayley?” She called again, “I'm sorry, but I'm just really, really cold,” She said, as she heard the door open behind her. Turning around, she gasped. She felt two small arms slip around her waist. Looking down at the redhead in front of her she was speechless. Neither of them had a shirt on, Lights in her bra and Hayley still in her bikini. The sweatshirt had been disregarded, dropped to the carpet at their feet. Lights looked into the shorter girl's eyes, green, shy, and hesitant. The brunette thought she saw a flash of something, pain? Whatever it was, it was quickly replaced by a suggestive smirk.  
“Still cold?”


	4. Wait, what about my snacks?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> feelings and walk with jeremy ~~~~

Chapter 4.

“Still cold?”  
Lights' heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She's just joking with me.. She's not.. She couldn't.. Why would she..- Her thoughts were interrupted by Hayley's lips brushing against her neck. Her words were breathy and hot against Lights' skin.  
“Sorry,” She whispered, “Couldn't resist.” Hayley smiled as Lights shivered under her words. She brought her hand up into Lights' hair, tilting her head down to look into her deep brown eyes. They shared the moment for only a second before neither of them could stand it any longer. They crashed into eachother, kissing urgently, recklessness and desire filling the increasingly small space between their bodies. Lights held Hayley close, hands cradling her hips, pushing down the fabric of her gray sweatpants. Hayley's hands roamed, caressing the brunette's flushed cheek, in her hair, slipping around her stomach and her bare back, she was everywhere. They pulled away from eachother, both gasping for air. She moved to Hayley's jaw, planting kisses all over, maneuvering down her neck, sucking and kissing everywhere. Reaching her collarbone, she hovered for a moment, letting her hot breath send shivers through Hayley's whole body. A hand had slipped into her pants, rubbing her inner thigh. Hayley murmured a word, nearly lost in the lust filled air.  
“Fuck..” Lights met Hayley's lips again, kissing her hard. The redhead kissed her back with even more force, causing the two to stumble back into Hayley's room. Lights sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping her legs around the girl in front of her, pulling her closer. Hayley smiled, moving to Lights' neck, sucking to the point where they both knew she'd have a hickey to hide, but neither of them cared. The brunette moaned quietly, pleasing Hayley to no end. She brushed up the edges of Lights' bra, teasing her, cupping her breasts with her hands. She ran her fingers along the lacy trim again, driving her crazy.  
“Hayley..” Her words dripped breathlessly from her lips. “Just take it off,” She urged. Hayley complied, reaching to her back, fluidly snapping the clasp apart as Lights shrugged it off. In a flash of orange, Hayley had ducked down, already kissing all over Lights' chest, fondling her perfect breasts. One hand moved gently around her waist, and the other continued playing with her nipple while she brought her head back up to Lights, who kissed her again, eager for more. Hayley kissed her harder while Lights' hands roamed her bare torso. Wondering if she was doing anything right, Lights was in awe of how calm Hayley seemed. Jeez, she seriously knows what she's doing, She thought, as Hayley pressed against her. Somewhere in everything, Hayley's top had disappeared too. She pushed Lights backwards, falling on top of her. Hayley smirked as Lights craned her neck, trying to kiss her as she hovered just out of reach. Falling back to the bed, Lights shook her head with a smile, rolling over so she was above Hayley. Moving her grasp from her shoulders to her wrists on either side of her head, Lights pinned her to the bed. As she held her wrists, Hayley's breathing hitched and her expression turned into one of pure terror. Lights stopped immediately, quickly letting go of Hayley and sitting back.  
“Hayley?” She asked, as the redhead squeezed her eyes shut, not responding. “I'm so sorry, are you okay?” She asked quietly, as Hayley took a deep breath, covering her face with her hands.  
“I'm sorry. I'm fine. I'm fine.. I'm fine, I'm sorry,” She stuttered, sitting up, kissing Lights again. The brunette pulled away, looking at Hayley with concern. Hayley looked back at her, desperately trying to continue as if nothing had happened. She kissed down Lights' neck as the brunette sat unresponsive. Hayley looked up at her pleadingly, eyebrows furrowing as Lights removed Hayley's hands from her body, stood up, and began picking her bra up off the floor. Fastening it back on, she kept her eyes on the carpet. A hiccup from Hayley brought her eyes back up. Tears were streaming silently down her pale cheeks.  
“I'm so sorry,” She choked, “I'm so, so sorry.” She stared at Lights for an agonizing moment before forcing her head back down. Lights stood there for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. She finally walked back over to Hayley, sitting down beside her and hugging her awkwardly. Hayley immediately turned, holding onto Lights like her life depended on it. Draped over the brunette, sobs rolled through her body as she clung to her shoulders. “I'm so sorry,” She repeated, whimpering into Lights' neck in between sobs and uncontrollable hiccups. Lights said nothing in return, just held her as she cried. She rubbed small circles in Hayley's back, trying to calm her down.  
15 minutes passed and the redhead had stopped crying, for the most part anyway. However, she was still sniffling and hiccuping and a half-naked mess.  
“Let's get you cleaned up,” Lights said softly, pulling out of the hug. She brushed a few pieces of stray hair from Hayley's tear-stained cheeks. Trying to give her a reassuring smile, Lights stood up, taking Hayley's hands and pulling her up with her. She looked around the room for Hayley's bags, finding them and kneeling to look for a shirt for her. Hayley sat on the edge of the bed, hiccuping sadly. Lights found a clean shirt and turned back to Hayley, who was seemingly on the verge of tears again, all of a sudden.  
“Hey, you okay?” She asked, shuffling back to her.  
“I just- Just miss him s-so much,” She stammered, tears rolling down her cheeks again. Lights sighed, wiping Hayley's tears away with her thumb.  
“I know.” She slipped the big t-shirt over Hayley's head, helping her get her arms through, like you would with a child. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was nearly eleven.  
“You wanna sleep?” She suggested as Hayley shook her head no. “Alright, watch a movie then?”  
“Yeah,” Hayley said quietly, “Sure.” Sitting on the couch, Lights flicked through all the channels before coming across the middle of Wayne's World, which Hayley stopped her on. As Hayley curled up in the corner of the couch Lights finally went back to her room to put a shirt on. Picking one up out of her bag, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess and her makeup was, too. Grabbing some clean clothes, she walked back into the room, saying she was gonna take a shower. Hayley nodded distantly, seeming not quite all there. Lights sighed, maneuvered through the darkened rooms to the bathroom where she turned on the fluorescent light and dumped her clothes on the counter.  
She leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath and running her hands through her hair. She turned on the water, almost to the hottest it could go, and stripped off her shorts and bra. Lights stepped behind the curtain, immediately comforted by the hot water. Finally alone and away from Hayley, she felt a lump in her throat. She regretted everything that had just happened. How could I have been so stupid? She thought, Why did I let that happen.. God.. That was.. I just.. I'm just a rebound.. The word echoed in her head. Rebound. Overwhelmed, confused, hurt, and tired, she breathed raggedly under the stream of hot water. She put her hand to the blue tiled wall to steady herself, and sank to the bottom of the shower. As she hugged her knees to her chest, she put her head down and cried.  
40 minutes passed and Lights finally turned the water off when it began to run cold. Stepping out of the shower she wrapped herself in a towel, drying her face off and parting her hair. As she finished fixing her hair she stood in front of the mirror, having a staring contest with her reflection. She blinked, and noticed the hickey left on her neck. It was dark, the worst she'd ever had. She brushed over it with her fingertips, feeling the urge to cry again. Crouching to look under the sink for her bag of makeup, Lights retrieved some concealer and foundation. Layering makeup over the bruise, she couldn't cover it up, no matter what she did, it still showed through. Frustrated she wiped it all off, trying again. Still, it remained visible.  
“Shit,” She muttered, going to put down the powder but dropping it instead. Of course it landed right on her foot, eliciting a greater, louder profanity. A knock on the door startled her.  
“You alright in there?” Taylor laughed. Oh, right. The guys are back, she thought, relaxing.  
“Ah yep, all good,” Lights replied, slipping into her clothes to go out and see them. Of course that meant she would have to see Hayley.. Oh well. Man up, soldier, Lights told herself, standing tall in the mirror, flipping her wet hair around to hide the hickey. Shoulders back, she tried to be confident as she strode out of the steamy bathroom to her bedroom. She threw her stuff on the floor and turned around to go say hey to the guys, only to bump into Jeremy in the hallway.  
“How long were you in there?” He asked, gesturing to the bathroom, “We've been back for like half an hour, and you were in the whole time.”  
“Sorry! There might be some hot water if you wait a little bit,” she said apologetically as Jeremy laughed.  
“Alright, alright.”  
“Did you guys stay down at the pool that whole time?”  
“Nah, we met some dudes in the bar, they were pretty cool.”  
“Oh, cool.” They began to shuffle past eachother, but Jeremy stopped.  
“Hey, do you know if Hayley's alright?” He asked as Lights froze.  
“I uh, she's kind of torn up about Chad..” She stuttered, not knowing what else to say. Well, it was true, right?  
“Oh, right.. I hope she's doing okay..” Jeremy said, walking into the other room. Lights sighed, going to the kitchen.  
“Night!” Taylor called, retiring to his room.  
“Night,” Lights called back, getting a glass of water. She didn't see Hayley anywhere. She must've gone to bed, she thought with relief. She downed the water, putting the glass in the sink. Hearing footsteps, Lights turned around to see Hayley shuffling out of her room. She was immediately overwhelmed with a wave of thoughts and emotions.  
“I just wanted to say thankyou..” Hayley said, looking up from the floor to Lights.  
“Oh, I, uh, yeah, no problem..” Lights stuttered, unsure of what to say. Nothing more was said and Hayley scuffed along back into her room, the feet of her too-long sweatpants dragging along the floor with each step. Lights went to her room, jumping onto her bed and laying there pretending to be dead. Eventually she wriggled under the covers, exhausted from the day's events. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she realized the worst;

She's forgotten to turn off the lights.

Groaning, she stumbled out of bed, flipping the light switch by the door. Making her way back to the big bed, she fell into it gratefully, closing her eyes and wishing for nothing other than sleep.  
Meanwhile, in Hayley's room, she was certainly not sleeping. Scribbling furiously in a notebook, crumpled up papers littered the floor and bed around her. She paused, singing a quiet melody. Liking it, she hunched back over to scribble more lyrics onto the paper. The words flowed naturally from her pen, as if she didn't even have to think about it.  
“Spit in my face, tell me I didn't mean what I said  
I'll take those words with me when I'm dead  
Open your mouth and contradict everything you said last summer  
I don't even know you anymore, anymore”  
Her thoughts were flying through her head and as much as she wanted to dwell and sulk in her Chad feelings, she couldn't help Lights creeping into her mind. Hayley sighed, scrawling one last line down before pushing the notebook away .  
“You really fucked me up this time for good, even though you didn't mean to  
When the weather clears, that sweatshirt weather won't keep you warm like I do  
You'll be thinking of my sleepy eyes and bony knees  
You'll be thinking of me”  
She fell over, hanging her head upside-down off the edge of the bed. Cringing, she remembered Lights sitting right there just an hour or so ago. She regretted everything that had happened.. Well sort of.. No, she regretted everything completely. How could I screw her over like that? She thought angrily, cringing again at her own unintentional pun. But seriously.. She's really hot and I guess I just need to get over Chad.. but she's such a good friend and I can't just use her as a rebound like that.. That.. That can never, ever happen again. As she thought about it, she felt her chest grow heavy. Relationships and love and shit.. I give up, She thought, tiredly.  
Picking up her papers from their graves on the wrinkled sheets and carpet, she threw them into the wastebasket by the door. Hayley collapsed onto her bed, too exhausted to crawl under the sheets. She fell asleep within minutes, her breathing evening out slowly, the worried creases of her forehead disappearing as she slipped into a much happier state  
Back in Lights' room, she wasn't so lucky. The clock read 3:12 and she was nowhere near asleep. Hours of tossing and turning had left her frustrated with layers of dried tears on her cheek. She wanted nothing other than to fall asleep, but her restless mind wouldn't allow it. She hated herself for letting that happen.. That thing with Hayley.. And it was so weird, too. I've never even liked a girl before.. Like I was thinking maybe it was just a girl crush or something, but.. Yeah, no. That's more than a girl crush, she thought, remembering the taste of Hayley's lips. She shivered, recalling the incident. She sighed. That.. That was amazing, she thought, finally allowing herself to think about what she really needed to. Subconsciously, she brought a finger to her mouth, touching her lips. Kissing Hayley had been unlike anything she'd ever known.. But, she stopped herself, they were also the most rushed, lust-filled kisses.. Pulling a hand through her tangled hair, she sighed. I.. I wish she had meant it.. I wish she actually liked me..  
Sitting up in bed, Lights rolled over, planting her feet on the floor. Her legs were immediately freezing as they slid from beneath the covers. She pushed on, standing up and throwing a shirt back on. She tip-toed to the door, turning the brass handle as quietly as she could, opening the door just enough to slip through the crack, she left her bedroom, walking silently through the suite. Admiring the shadows cast from the white moonlight steaming from the windows, she inched toward the door to the hall. She clicked the door shut, and was startled to see Jeremy a few feet away, struggling with Paramore's door.   
“Oh, uh, hi,” He said, looking at her sheepishly. His arms were brimming with vending machine snacks of all sorts.  
“Uh, hi there,” She said, catching a falling bag of Doritos, “need a hand?”  
“Nah, I've got it,” He replied as Lights stacked the chips back onto his pile. The whole thing came crashing to the floor, eliciting an exasperated sigh from Jeremy.  
“My babies,” He cried, kneeling and cradling a pack of Oreos to his cheek.  
“I'm sorry,” Lights laughed, kneeling to gather them with him.  
“So what're you doing out, anyway?” Jeremy asked, between mouthfuls of Fritos that had spilled on the floor, “It's like 3, right?”  
“3:30, actually.”  
“So did come out here just to catch me or did you have ulterior motives?”  
“I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd walk around,” Lights explained. Jeremy studied her, munching contentedly.  
“Mind if I joined you?” He said, standing up and extending a hand to help Lights to her feet. She thought for a moment about his proposal.  
“Not at all,” She replied. They turned to start walking but Jeremy stopped suddenly, whipping around to his pile of snack food on the ground.  
“wAIT, WHAT ABOUT MY SnaCKS?” He asked, scooping them back into his arms with overwhelming urgency.  
“Whoa, whoa, calm down, you can just leave them here and take them inside when we get back,” She reassured him.  
“But I bet someone will take them!!” He lamented, petting a bag of Sour Patch Kids.  
“Dude, I hardly think someone's gonna be walking through here this late. I mean early? You know,” She reassured him as he realized she was right.  
“Right..” Jerm stood up, blowing a goodbye for now kiss to his snacks as Lights laughed. As they walked down the hallway, the light atmosphere was left behind them along with Jeremy's snacks. Lights kept her eyes on the floor, deep in thought. Soon enough, they were downstairs heading towards the lobby to go outside. Neither of them were dressed properly, or even had shoes on, but neither of them cared.  
“So.. You got a lot on your mind?” Jeremy asked, bumping Lights from her inner monologue.  
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess. Why do you ask?” At this, Jeremy laughed.  
“You haven't said a word and we've been walking for at least 12-15 minutes..” He said.  
“Oh, I'm so sorry! I just.. Yeah.. Have a lot on my mind,” She admitted with an apologetic smile.  
“Anything I can help with?” He asked as they walked outside. The weather was warm, even at night. It was only the second week of August and it seemed to be stretching out forever.  
“Uhh, I dunno..” Lights replied, wondering what she could tell him. “Can I ask you something? About Hayley?”  
“Of course!” He smiled. Lights thought about how to best word her question, vague enough to not raise suspicion, but specific enough to make sense (Or at least sort of make sense..)  
She spoke slowly, careful not to trip over her words, “How does she deal with things..? Like the whole thing with Chad for instance … And just things that should be talked about in general.. How does she cope?”  
“Well,” He said after a moment of thought, “She doesn't really. Well, more like she just keeps to herself, and then eventually it comes out much later and she'll have written a whole aggressive notebook of songs about whatever it was. Being around her when there's something up, she'll get really quiet with whoever it might be about, and nobody really thinks anything of it, it works for everyone usually, they don't see anything wrong.. But me and Taylor, y'know we've all been friends for so long, we know when something's up.. But it sucks 'cause she won't ever talk about it.. Like, I've only ever gotten to comfort her like once or twice, and barely. It sucks, 'cause she's like my little sister, and I don't want to see her hurting, y'know?” Lights sighed, taking in everything he'd told her. But I can't wait until much later.. She thought, We need to talk about that.. Like, soon..  
“I'm really worried about her, dude,” Jeremy concluded, sighing as well. The two has sat down on a rust colored wooden bench in the nearby park. Jeremy rested his head in his hands as Lights rubbed her eyes.  
“Does-” She paused, clearing her throat, “Does she cry in front of people often?” Jeremy straightened up, looking at Lights with concern.  
“I.. I've only ever seen Hayley cry like 3 or 4 times ever,” He said firmly, “Besides from stubbing her toe or something, I mean. But not like upset crying.. I think she's probably only let Chad see her like that..”  
“Oh..” Lights said softly. Jeremy looked at her quizzically.  
“Why do you ask?” He wondered, turning to face her.  
“She was crying.. A lot.” She answered him. Stunned silence followed for a few seconds.  
“Did she know you saw?” He asked as Lights' grimaced.  
“Jeremy..” She whispered, slowly raising her voice, “I was holding her.” He looked at her in disbelief, only for a second before looking away. Then, again, he did a double take, looking back at Lights with an expression combining hurt, betrayal, and of course concern. He still said nothing, keeping his eyes on the ground now. A couple minutes passed, Lights nervously biting her lip, waiting for Jeremy to say something.  
“We should be getting back,” He said, finally. Glancing at his watch, the time 4:18, Jeremy stood up and began walking back in the direction of the hotel. Lights was startled by his sudden action, scrambling to follow him.  
“Wait for me, dude,” She squeaked, sidling up beside him. Jeremy didn't say a word or even look at her. His face was stone, his steps stiff and uninviting. Lights winced, falling a couple paces behind him. They reached the hotel in silence, going inside and standing in the elevator still without words or any acknowledgment of Lights' existence. As Jeremy pushed the button for the top floor, Lights spoke up, not about to accept this sudden mistreatment.  
“Dude.. What did I do?” She asked, frowning. Jeremy's stone exterior faltered.  
“I'm sorry,” He sighed, “It's just like, friend jealousy.. Y'know?” Lights nodded, kind of understanding.  
“Well I've known her for what, 11 years? And she's never let me or Tay comfort her in regards to pretty much anything.. And then you just waltz in here and suddenly she trusts you more than anyone ever..”  
Lights nodded, feeling terrible.  
“I'm really, really sorry, Jeremy...” Lights said, heartbroken. She'd never meant to hurt anyone like that.  
“No, I know it's not like that.. It was just a coincidence, and it's totally not your fault,” He said, seeming to look to her for confirmation.  
“Oh, right. Seriously, yeah, I never meant for any of that, I swear, I'm so sorry man,” Lights agreed, glad to be forgiven.  
“No problem. I'm sorry for overreacting, I'll get over it,” Jeremy laughed, “Thanks for telling me though..” They reached the rooms. Jeremy started to try the handle as Lights reminded him he needed to put in the PIN code.  
“Dammit, I don't reme- wHERE ARE MY SNACKS?!” He yelled, spinning around to scan the perimeter. “sOMEONE TOOK MY SNACKS.” Lights was in awe they'd been taken. After all, they were one of the only groups staying on this floor. Housing the most spacious, expensive suites, the whole floor was fairly abandoned.  
“Okay, okay, shhhh though, it's still like 4:30 A.M.,” She attempted to appease the heartbroken man as he sunk to the floor in misery.  
“Ughhhh,” He sighed, face in his hands. “I don't know either of the codes, do you?” He asked, trying to distract himself from his loss.  
“No.. Guess we're stuck out here, eh?”  
“Yeah, 'cause there was no one down at the front desk, but..” He muttered, standing to pound on the door.  
“Nonono stop, don't wake them up!” Lights squeaked, stopping him before he made too much noise. Jeremy sighed, sitting back down against the wall. After a moment, Lights sat beside him, terribly tired, resting her head on his shoulder. Silence fell throughout the vicinity and both were passed out within minutes into a dreamless sleep.


	5. What sweater?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day out in sao paulo wooooo

Chapter 5.

A handle turned and a lock clicked open in front of the sleepy pair. “Guys? What are you doing out here?”  
Lights groggily opened her eyes, sitting up as Jeremy did the same. Jerm's a really good pillow, she thought matter-of-factly. She didn't even feel sore from passing out on the thinly carpeted cement floor. A blurry figure loomed over the two.  
“We got locked out,” Jeremy yawned, stretching. Lights finally realized who they were talking to as Taylor laughed at her rubbing her eyes.  
“Why were you even out here in the first place?”  
“I uh, we were walking. And talking,” Jeremy said, standing up and helping Lights up too.  
“Well oookay,” Taylor shrugged, holding the door open for the sleepy pair. They staggered inside, falling onto the couch. Hayley was in the kitchen, pouring a bowl of Cap'n Crunch she'd found abandoned in a cupboard.  
“What time is it?” Jeremy asked, yawning a  
gain.  
“Almost 11,” Hayley chirped happily. Jeremy immediately turned to Lights, shooting her a knowing glance.  
“When's the show?” Lights asked, looking to Hayley. The redhead shrugged, looking to her cereal with seeming intense captivation. Oh. Lights looked to Jeremy who didn't catch her eyes.  
Taylor broke the silence, “Sooo, what do y'all wanna do today?”  
“Well I actually read about this really cool place downtown, Hayley, you wanna come with?” Lights suggested, a total shot in the dark. Hayley didn't look at her and shrugged, shaking her head no. The brunette pushed on. “I think it'd be fun..”  
“I'm kinda tired,” The redhead sighed, still not making eye contact with anyone. Lights cringed, sheepishly looking down at her lap and wishing she hadn't said anything. She stood up, taking a deep breath.  
“I'm.. gonna go change..” She excused herself from the room. As soon as she'd turned the corner, she heard them start talking without her.  
“Hayley..?” Taylor said, his voice suddenly significantly quieter.  
“..Hm?”  
“What's up?” He asked, what he was referring to hung plainly in the air.  
“I don't know what you mean..” Lights had paused mid step to listen to their conversation behind the wall.  
“Did something happen between you two last night?” Jeremy asked, looking for answers, something, anything. Hayley was quiet; Lights imagined her shrugging and averting her eyes from the guys' stares. In fact, that was exactly what the redhead did.  
“I- I don't know, nothing. I'm sorry,” She mumbled.  
“Don't apologize.. Are you guys good?” Lights imagined Hayley shaking her head as Jeremy spoke. She heard Hayley sigh as the guys urged her to go talk to Lights.  
“Okay, okay.. But later..” Hayley gave in. The brunette jumped, running into her room as she heard them standing up. She swung the door closed and stripped off her shirt. As she paced across her room to her suitcase, she caught a glimpse of Hayley walking into the bathroom through the crack between the door and the ornate trim. Lights ran a hand through her hair, pulling it through the tangles. She changed into a loose tank and some shorts before walking back out into the main room. With everyone else suddenly dispersed into their respective rooms, she rummaged through the pantry searching for sustenance. Finding nothing, she sat down on the sofa again, taking her phone out and scrolling through twitter.  
Eventually, Jeremy and Hayley appeared, Hayley with her purse and Jerm with his sunglasses.  
“Going out?” Lights asked. Hayley said nothing, but Jeremy nudged her, forcing her to look up and respond.  
“Oh, uh, yeah,” She mumbled. Jerm shot Lights an apologetic look as the two walked out the door. A moment later Taylor walked into the room, looking at his phone.  
“Did they just leave?” He asked, looking up. Lights nodded that they had.  
“There's like no food here, I don't even know where Hayley found this,” He said, shaking the empty cereal box. “Wanna go out?”  
“Yeah man, I'm starving,” She agreed, standing up to meet him at the door. The two left the hotel, walking through out to the street. They found a main street and scanned the storefronts for any signs of food. The sun beating down on their heads, they pushed on through the day.  
\---   
Meanwhile, Hayley stepped from behind a dressing room curtain, twirling around in a bright yellow dress. Jeremy nodded, judging the fabric's movement and bounce.  
“Hmmm,” He mused as Hayley spun again.  
“What do we think?” She asked, fixing the straps.  
“I like it,” He started, getting Hayley hopeful. “But,” He said as she released a pent up sigh, “But, the blue one was better, try that one on again? I think you should get it.”  
Hayley nodded. She liked the blue dress a lot. Donning an array of shimmering stones, one might've been inclined to say it wasn't the redhead's style, but anyone who knew her knew her style changed every few weeks, sometimes even days. Hayley ducked behind the curtain once more, stripping off the vibrant dress, trading it for the baby blue garment that hung on a hanger beside her. As she tied the bow behind her back, she was scared to face Jeremy again. Well, not scared, just dreading the inevitable talk that the day would bring. She knew he wanted to talk to her about Lights, no matter how much fashion advice he tried to hide it under and reassure her with. She stepped out from the stall once more, giving the new dress a twirl.  
“And thoughts?” She prompted, smoothing the fabric down as she finished spinning.  
“I like this one the best,” Jeremy confirmed, stroking his beard, “It looks good with your hair.”  
“Lookin' good, princess,” A dude behind them chimed in. Jeremy turned, laughing. Luckily it wasn't a creepy cat-call, more of a joke. The guy had a kind face.  
“See?” Jeremy laughed, turning back to Hayley. “It's looks grea-” He stopped, as he faced her just in time to see her quickly ducking behind the curtain. “..Hayley?”  
“I'm not getting it,” She stuttered, already tearing off the dress.  
“Why not?” Jeremy asked, confused.  
“I- I don't like it.”  
“It looks good though..?”  
“No.” She said firmly, throwing the curtain open, marching out with her eyes cast down. Her arms wrapped tightly around her ribcage, she looked freaked out and lost.  
“Is she okay..?” The guy asked aside to Jeremy, standing up moving toward them. Fleeing the scene, Hayley flinched at his standing up. All eyes were on the pale redhead.   
“Don't,” She squeaked, “I'm fine.”  
“Was it what I said?” The guy said, obviously concerned. Hayley shuffled further away.  
“Jeremy, can we go?” Hayley asked in almost a whisper.  
He nodded, “Of course.” They walked out of the store, everyone watching. Out on the sidewalk again, Hayley let out a breath she'd apparently been holding. They walked for a few minutes, quicker than necessary, all the while Jeremy stealing glances at Hayley, trying to gauge how okay she was. Slowly, what little color she had returned to her face, and she stopped walking so quickly.  
They eventually stopped, at coincidentally the same bench Lights and Jeremy had found the night before. Sitting down, Jeremy could still see the scuffs in the dirt he'd left last night; a smiley face with a straight line mouth, the bars symbol. Absent minded doodles were left as the only remnants from the events of the night before. Well, that and the stiff neck he harbored from sleeping in the hall, he thought, instinctively bringing a hand up to the nape of his neck. Bumping into Hayley's shoulder, he gave up on trying to work out the knot he'd been attacking.  
“Sorry,” He muttered. Hayley was silent, looking at the ground, shifting her arms back to protectively barricading her ribs. Jeez, what do I say? Jeremy thought, trying not to stare at Hayley like a confused puppy. I've never been good at this stuff..  
“Are you okay?” He finally stuttered, looking to Hayley for answers. She sighed, picking at her fingers.  
“Yeah..” She breathed, seeming to deflate some more.  
“What.. Was that?”  
“I just.. Nothing.. I'm sorry, it was, uh, a stupid overreaction..” “You know he was just joking, right?”  
“..Yeah..”  
“Well.. Okay..” Jeremy sighed, not really sure what to say anymore. He stood up, pulling her up with him. “Can we go get some food? I haven't even eaten anything today,” He said as Hayley laughed.  
“Of course.”

\---

Just a few streets over, Lights was doubled over in laughter while Taylor waved his arms around like an idiot. While they sat at a table and the waiter walked away, crushcrushcrush came on the radio playing inside. Taylor immediately perked up, and then began singing in a high pitched mocking voice. Interrupting their conversation to begin a chipmunk rendition of the 2007 hit, Taylor was using his spoon as a microphone, much to the amusement of a confused Lights. She caught her breath as the song reached a vocal break, Taylor pausing as well. She gave him a questioning look as he answered her unverbalized inquiry.  
“It’s a band rule that whenever we’re out and one of our songs comes on, we have to start singing like Hayley, at least for part of it.” He told her as she nodded.  
“Wow, does it happen a lot?” Lights asked.  
“Enough,” He laughed. “In fact, the night Jerm proposed to Kat it happened in the restaurant they were in. It was really fancy too, so everyone was staring. But yeah, the song was The Only Exception, and it was the cutest thing at least from how they tell it. People clapped when he was done, she made him do it all the way to the end. And then they clapped again 20 minutes later when he asked her to marry him. God they’re just the perfect couple.”  
Lights smiled. “That’s adorable,” She agreed.  
“Yeah, no kidding. Chad and Hayley were like that, absolute lovebirds,” He mused, playing with his napkin on the table.  
“What happened?” Lights asked, wondering if Taylor might know more than her.  
“She hasn’t told me anything, but I saw on Twitter someone posted a video of the entire thing. I guess he took her out to dinner hoping she wouldn’t make a scene and freak out on him, but I guess that didn’t work..” He said, pausing. Lights gave him a look urging to continue.  
“Right, yeah, uh, basically she started yelling at him that there was another woman, all this stuff- wait, I’ll just show you the video,” He said, pulling out his phone and loading through a couple pages.  
“...it's really not my place to tell you..” Chad muttered. The camera didn’t show the two but their voices were unmistakeable.  
“tell me her name.” Hayley demanded, repeating when he said nothing, “CHAD. TELL ME.” “Can you calm down.. People are staring, you're being crazy..” With this, Hayley stood up, suddenly visible on the screen. She appeared to be shaking, or maybe that was the camera.  
“crAZY? CRAZY? I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE CRAZY GIRLS, CHAD.” Chad stood up, now also visible, taking Hayley's wrist. She flinched away from his touch, looking like a scared little kid just for a moment. Lights knew that look, the same one from the night before when she’d touched her wrists.  
“What the hell? Why would you do that?” With her voice breaking she turned and exited the restaurant. Chad looked like he didn’t know what to do. He tried to give the room an apologetic smile, fishing his wallet from his pocket and throwing it on the table before running out after the Hayley. The person taping the whole the whole thing panned around the room to show the bewildered faces of everyone witnessing the scene. After a moment, they followed Chad, giving a good 15 seconds of footage of their shoes and the floor swinging with each step. As the camera neared the doors, their voices became audible again.  
“Dakota,” He said. The camera edged nervously around the corner, showing Chad’s back and all the pain on Hayley’s face.  
“Fuck you.” Hayley said, tears already streaming down her cheeks. After Hayley had pulled recklessly out of the parking lot, Chad turned around. Upon seeing the person filming everything, he gave an exasperated sigh. The person scrambled to turn it off and the video ended.  
“Wow..” Lights breathed after a minute.  
“Yeah,” Taylor agreed.  
“What’s up with her and, like, her wrists?”  
Taylor sighed. “I don’t really know.. She’s been like that for almost all of the time I’ve know her, but pretty much no one can touch her wrists without her flinching like that. She’s never talked about it, we all just kinda learned from experience. And don’t think she used to self harm or anything, you’ve seen her, scar-free all over. She’s a strong girl.”  
Lights felt her heart skip a beat. “You’ve seen her, scar-free all over.” Her mind started racing; How did he know.. I’ve seen her..? Fuck fuck fuck fuck- Oh. Yeah. The pool. Duh. With a wave of relief washing over her, she pulled out her wallet to pay for the bill. Sunlight poured through the awning overhead, the frail fabric providing no protection. The day was still only young.

\---

In a crowded deli a few blocks away sat a redhead and a striking man with a fluffy beard.  
“You enjoying that?” She laughed as Jeremy took another enormous bite of his sandwich.  
“Mmmrf,” A piece of lettuce fell out of his mouth.  
“You're so gross.” Another laugh. Hayley folded a napkin while he finished eating. He made grabby hands toward the napkin she held. She handed it to him as he wiped the crumbs from his face. There was a piece of lettuce still nestled in his beard, but she didn't say anything.  
“So,” He began, pausing to take a sip of his coke, “Talk to me. What's up with you and Lights?” Hayley sighed. The inevitable had finally arrived.  
“I just.. I don't know,” She mumbled, folding another napkin up into a tiny square.  
“C'mon, don't give me that.. You obviously suddenly have some problem with her,”  
“No! I mean, I don't know.. I.. We'll be fine, okay? It's just.. Weird, like having her around.. Another girl.. Y'know? Sometimes, I don't know, I forget how to be around other chicks..”  
As Hayley lied straight to Jeremy’s face, she grimaced. Jerm was always the toughest to lie to, he always seemed to see right through her, though he rarely said anything. Regardless, the general way he carried himself always put her off her game. To everyone else, she had no problem lying. Well, actually, now that she thought about it, maybe not. Maybe not Lights.. She’d pulled off a couple casual white lies with her, but she’d felt weird about it after. Unlike with anyone else, she felt like she didn’t want to lie to Lights.. Like about anything, ever. It was weird, like she said. Even just having her around made it more difficult to lie to Jeremy and Taylor. It was like she’d be disappointed in her, and the thought of that.. The last thing she wanted. That, ‘I dunno I’m kinda tired,’ She’d mumbled earlier had absolutely killed her when she saw Lights’ hopeful smile drop. She pushed it away, though. Hayley Williams was Hayley Williams, and Hayley Williams didn’t discriminate as to who she lied to. She’d been lying to people’s faces since she was a kid, always laughing to herself when she heard herself described as honest or trustworthy. Amazingly enough, she’d never harbored much guilt. Most of her lies were to protect herself or others. Nobody ever got hurt; how could they? Nobody ever caught her once she got into the stuff that mattered, anyway.  
She hadn't always been good at coming up with excuses and deceiving people, though, especially when put on the spot. She recalled one night back in Mississippi, before she'd moved to Franklin. She must've been no older than 7 or 8. Her mom had just bought a gorgeous new sweater she'd been looking at for days, and both she and Hayley were absolutely in love with it. Of course, no sooner than 2 hours after her mom had bought it, Hayley had to go searching for the revered angora sweater that had been put away once they arrived home. All she'd wanted was to feel the soft fabric once more, missing the fine, fibrous composition that she'd been allowed to hold earlier in the store. It was her mission.  
While her parents were downstairs catering to the guests that had been invited to celebrate her father's promotion, Hayley had slowly managed to sneak up the staircase. Avoiding conversation with the countless adults asking her about school and friends was the biggest adversity she'd faced. Finally, she creaked the wooden door open, sliding through the crack between it and the wall. On tiptoes, Hayley maneuvered through the room, avoiding the creaky spots on the floor she'd memorized just by living in the house for so long.  
Finding the bag that contained the coveted sweater, she couldn't suppress a couple giggles of excitement. As she picked it up from its crinkly plastic grave, her elbow swung carelessly to the glass of juice she'd set on the carpet beside her. Before she realized what had happened, the floor and half of the sweater were soaked through with pink. After running to the bathroom for towels to sop up the mess, she reached the conclusion there was nothing that could be done. So, naturally, she hid the glass and ran to her the sanctity of bedroom. With an extra long prayer, she tucked herself into bed early so that nobody could get to her, at least for the rest of the evening.  
Inevitably, the next morning came all too soon. Hayley got herself out of bed when the clock read 7:30. After getting dressed, she dragged herself downstairs to the kitchen table where her breakfast and, unfortunately, her mother were waiting for her. When her mom asked Hayley about the sweater and the carpet, she turned bright red, refusing to make eye contact. As her mom pushed on for an answer, Hayley became more and more flummoxed.  
“Hayley, you're the only one who could possibly know what happened to it!”  
“Happened to what?”  
“The sweater!”  
“W-what's a sweater?”  
Needless to say, Hayley was grounded for a week. As harsh as that might sound, she wasn't really fazed by it, seeing as she didn't really have many friends anyway. She just stayed inside and read like she always did. However, she was crushed when her parents expressed their disappointment in her for lying, and she swore to herself she would never let herself get caught again. As she grew up she found herself caught up in spirals of deceit increasingly often. However, she never let them get too far out of hand and kept everything impressively under control, whether it meant compromising a scheme or reining a stray lie back into line. As a teen and young adult, nobody could describe how much of an instrumental aspect this had been in her life..  
Hayley shuddered as her flashback-like recollection began to reach to memories that were more recent than she was comfortable with thinking about again. Jeremy was nodding thoughtfully, but didn't seem convinced. Hayley sighed, hoping he’d just let the matter go. Shaking away the memories that had crowded in her head, she fixed her hair, held up in a high ponytail, and Jeremy spoke.  
“Okay, fair enough, but are you guys seriously going to be alright? 'Cause we don't need drama between y'all.”  
“Yeah, we're gonna be fine. I'll get over myself, promise.”  
“Promise you'll talk to her? Before the day's over?”  
“I promise.”  
“Oh, in fact, why don't you call her now or something?” He suggested as Hayley winced.  
“I uh, haven't turned on my phone yet,” She told him, “It's been off since I got home Friday night.” It was Sunday, 2 days since the breakup. Jeremy 'ohhhh'ed in understanding.  
“Use my phone then!”  
“No no no it's fine; I'll talk to her later, in person. Promise,” Hayley reassured him as he put his phone back in his pocket. He nodded, taking a napkin to his face to wipe clear all sandwich residue. The piece of lettuce Hayley had seen earlier remained stuck in his beard; again she refrained from telling him. As if reading her mind, he asked if there was anything else on his face.  
“No, you're all good,” She smiled. He gave her a skeptical look.  
“I don't trust you, there's always something you're not telling me,” He said, standing to go check in the bathroom. She grabbed his hand, stopping him from walking away.  
“Nooooo, I swear, there's nothing!” She laughed, standing up and pulling him toward the door.  
“...Okay..” He muttered, not convinced. Hayley laughed again as they exited the restaurant, returning to the sun-baked streets of Sao Paulo.  
The day passed quickly and the first two to turn up back at the hotel were Jeremy and Hayley. They got in the suite around 6, and were kept waiting for another half hour by Taylor and Lights. When the door clicked open at 6:30, Jeremy rolled off the couch excitedly.  
“FINALLY!” He exclaimed as Lights sat down in the seat he had abandoned in lieu of the floor. She looked at him quizzically. “What?” He asked as she giggled.  
“You have a piece of lettuce.. like.. right, yeah, there,” She said, guiding him to it, tucked away deep in his chin. Fishing it out, he turned to glare at Hayley, sitting cross-legged in a recliner, fiddling with something in her hands.  
“Hayley, really?” He glowered, as she looked up, disoriented.  
“Wait, what?- Ohhhhh,” She said, realizing with a laugh. Taylor smiled and shook his head at them, all too familiar with the routine. Jeremy chuckled.  
“Can we go get dinner now? Adam wanted to go out with all of us.”  
“Yeah, I guess,” Taylor said, turning back to the door. “We’ve probably gotta leave like now though, right?” Jeremy nodded, slipping his vans on and following Taylor. Hayley was playing with a capo left out on the table, probably from Taylor, she thought. Actually, it was Lights’, left from her pocket earlier that morning. She watched Hayley absentmindedly toying with it, suddenly having the urge to snatch it from her. She had so many conflicting emotions toward Hayley, it was exhausting just being in the same room as her. The redhead seemed to not notice everything going on in the world around her.  
“Hayley? Coming?” Jeremy asked, holding the door for her. She looked up slowly. Nobody could tell, but her stomach was twisting up in knots just being around Lights again.  
“I’m not really hungry,” She muttered, looking back to her hands.  
“Nope, I don’t care. You’re coming,” He said firmly, Hayley sighing as she stood. As she passed her and he held the door, he said something in a low voice.  
“You’re gonna talk to her?”  
“Yeah, yeah,” She exhaled, trying to steady her shaky breathing. The last thing she wanted to do was have a heart-to-heart with the brunette. Just keep it short and sweet, right? She thought to herself, wondering what she would say. Luckily, she had the entire meal to think about it.


	6. Pancakes!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends and movie and pancakes!!!!!!!!! and cristi???????????? what

Chapter 6.

“There’s no way you can do it,” Adam laughed, in awe of the bassist eyeing the bowl of hot sauce in front of him.  
“No! Dude, don’t say that, he takes it as a challenge!” Hayley cried, clinging to Adam’s arm and laughing. The 5 were seated around a table in the back of the restaurant. Lights sat across from Adam, who sat next to Hayley, who was across from Taylor. Jeremy was next to Hayley and Taylor, at the head of the table. He was examining the bowl of hot sauce carefully. “Remember the time you drank that whole bottle?” Taylor had said after tasting it. Jeremy immediately got the idea in his head. “I wonder…” He’d mused thoughtfully, which was what had provoked Adam’s exclamation. He raised the bowl to his lips, pausing for a moment.  
“I hope none of you wanted any of this,” He grinned. The rest of the table was silent as he raised it to his lips once more, and as he began gulping they erupted in a mix of encouraging cheers and disgusted cries. He tipped the bowl up to his nose and slurps were audible. With one final sip, he slammed the bowl down to the table, wiping his mouth and reaching for his water. A slow clap was extracted from the group, starting with Adam who was less used to Jeremy’s antics. While he spent a great deal of time with the band, (what with being their manager and all,) things still continued to surprise him.  
They’d just about finished their meal and were waiting for the check when Jeremy let out a killer burp that must’ve burned with the fire of a thousand suns. He made intense eye contact with Adam, as if challenging him to a duel.  
“What, are we really gonna do this?” Adam laughed, but nevertheless accepted the invitation.  
“Do what?” Taylor inquired, looking to him curiously. Adam just took a swig of soda, though, holding up a hand keeping everyone’s conversation at bay. He closed his eyes. A belch erupted from his gut, drawing stares from a table across the open room. Hayley couldn’t suppress her laughter or competitive spirit, along with Taylor and Lights.  
“My turn,” Lights declared, downing the last of her Sprite. She let loose a burp even more impressive than Adam’s, blowing him and Jeremy completely out of the water. Hayley, as rattled as she was, was impressed and couldn’t hold back a “Damn.” Taylor was next. He shook his head, knowing there was no way he could possibly compare. He’d always been bad at burping. He tried and tried and actually couldn’t even get one. Everyone laughed as he buried his head in his hands in disgrace.  
“Nnnnoooooo,” He cried, though it was muffled by his sleeves. He emerged from his shame though, to watch Hayley, the final contender. She took a calm sip of her soda and casually counted down from 3 on her fingers. Perfectly timed on the last count, she let loose a quite impressive burp. It wasn’t the volume of it, but the duration. Everyone’s eyes went wide as it lasted for at least 6 seconds.  
“Well,” Taylor said as she finished, “Looks like Hayley and Lights are our finalists tonight.” Hayley grinned at Lights despite herself, ready for the challenge. Lights reached for Taylor’s drink, having finished hers. With another sip she caught a dirty look from an employee across the room. She smirked, looking back to Hayley with a mischievous grin. Hayley shook her head, smiling and taking another sip of her drink, more than before. Just as she was about to make her move, she was interrupted by the manager who was standing next to Jeremy looking not so pleased.  
“I’m going to have to-” He was interrupted by Hayley, belching even louder than Lights had. Lights struggled to suppress her giggles, triggering laughter from the guys as well. The manager closed his eyes when they were done, sighing loudly, not afraid to hide his contempt for the table.  
“I’m going to have to ask you all to leave,” He repeated firmly, as two burly employees appeared at his sides, ready to use force if necessary. Jeremy put up his hands in surrender.  
“Hey man, we were just about ready to go anyways, right guys?”  
“Yeah, we were just waiting for the check, so maybe if your service was faster we’d already be out of here.” Lights snapped, feeling unusually sassy. The manager scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff. Hayley eyed Lights, surprised by how she talked to the small man sending them glares. He was rolling his eyes at the brunette who stared at him with pursed lips.  
“You pay up front.” He breathed, exasperated, sounding as if the words pained him to have to say. Lights’ confidence diminished as she squeaked out a tiny “..Oh.” Jeremy was the first to get up, and everyone else silently followed. They all went outside, except for Jeremy, who went to pay with Adam. As the three milled around the front of the building, Taylor realized he hadn’t given Jeremy any money to chip in for the meal. He ran back inside, leaving Hayley and Lights alone. The light was fleeting from the sky quickly, and the sun was almost completely set. A breeze whispered by, causing Hayley to shiver and cross her arms stiffly. Lights noticed and instinctively wanted to hug her, or at least give her her jacket. The brunette shuffled over to a bench against the side of the building, sitting and drawing her knees up to her chest in an attempt to combat the chilly air. Hayley watched her, trying to work up the nerve to say something. The guys are going to come back out any minute.. You’re losing your chance! Just say something.. But what? Anything! C’mon, just- Her inner turmoil halted as she noticed Lights patting the spot next to her on the bench, motioning for Hayley to come and sit. Her heartbeat stuttered and words continued to fail her. Nevertheless, she obeyed and walked shakily over to the bench, sitting down carefully, making sure not to sit too close to the brunette. She sat gingerly on the cold plastic bench, ever so aware of how little distance there was between them. She snuck sideways glances at Lights from her peripheral vision. She wanted to be closer; she wanted to close the gap between them. Suddenly, she spoke, surprising both herself and Lights.  
“Hi.” It came out quiet, barely more than a squeak.  
“Hey.” Lights replied, sounding much calmer than Hayley. Hayley’s thoughts were racing. What do I say now? When did I become so bad at talking? Jeez. Okay, just tell her what you’re thinking. What am I even thinking? But Hayley knew damn well what she was thinking. Beneath her tumultuous thoughts, all she knew was that she wanted to get closer to Lights, to kiss her and apologize for everything, to hold her and be able to run her fingers through her beautiful long hair again. Stop it Hayley. Stop it right now. You’re not into her. You’re not. Just say something, you’ve gotta say something. Anything.  
Before she had a chance to voice anything, Jeremy, Taylor and Adam came waltzing through the doors. Jeremy caught sight of the two sitting nervously on the bench and muttered a “Shit,” under his breath. He said something about having left his phone at the table and dragged -literally dragged- Adam and Taylor back inside with him. Lights looked back to Hayley on her left, who quickly dropped her gaze.  
“I- I’m sorry. For everything. For this morning. And last night. And just everything,” Hayley stammered, looking back at Lights. This time it was Lights’ turn to drop her eyes. She sighed, the sound making Hayley frown even more than she already was. Lights looked back up to Hayley and her eyes held the saddest type of hopefulness.  
“About last night..”  
“I’m sorry,” Hayley winced, quickly, racing to stop her, “I can’t apologize enough. I just.. Can we just pretend it never happened?” She asked pleadingly, trying to force a reassuring smile. The smile was wiped off her face as she saw Lights’ initial reaction, however. The brunette flinched as if she’d been hit, and blinked a couple times. Her eyes showed the most despondent look for just a moment. Less than a second later, though, she was smiling at Hayley. The redhead was startled by the sudden change, and forgot momentarily how to plaster on her own smile. She recovered in a couple seconds, though.  
“All good then? Friends?” She asked, going to hug Lights. The brunette let her smile drop as soon as she was resting her chin on Hayley’s shoulder. Even though she knew it was going to go like this, her stomach was tied in knots and she felt like she was going to throw up. She managed to utter two words, repeating after Hayley.  
“Yeah. Friends.”

The ensuing silence was broken by clapping. Dragging herself out of Hayley’s hug, Lights opened her eyes to the noise; the guys were standing by the doors applauding the girls.  
“About time y’all stopped acting so weird,” Jeremy laughed as they walked over to the two. They stood, meeting him halfway.  
“Sorry,” Hayley mumbled, blushing. “It’s my fault. But we’re good now, right?” She smiled, hugging Lights’ arm.  
“Yes m’aam,” Lights laughed, attempting to repress the feelings in the pit of her stomach.  
“Shall we go?” Taylor suggested, looking back to the doors where the manager was watching them.  
“Probably..” Adam chuckled.  
“I call shotgun!” Lights and Hayley suddenly said in unison. They turned to each other, scowling competitively.  
“Tay, you drive!” Hayley suggested, seeing how sleepy Jeremy looked.  
“I want shotgun though,” Lights countered as Hayley gained confidence opposing the taller brunette. She strode over to her, suddenly pulling puppy dog eyes.  
“Pleaaaaaaase?” She whined softly, as Lights suppressed the burning urge to kiss her. She smiled at the redhead, whose eyes lit up, thinking she’d got her way.  
“Not a chance darling,” Lights said with a sweet smile. She rushed to the passenger side, urging Jeremy to unlock the doors.  
“Jerm you have the keys! Unlock it!” He began fishing the car keys out of his pocket, slowly.  
“Before I unlock this car though,” He started, turning to the girls stationed readily at the passenger side door, “Let’s not have a catfight. I think it’s probably best if you both sit up front actually, since you two are the smallest, Hayley can sit on your lap.” He motioned to Lights.  
“Why?” She asked, feeling understandably wary about close quarters with Hayley.  
“’Cause there are shopping bags and equipment and junk in the back and there’s barely room for two as it is,” He explained as the girls saw there was no other way. Lights started to protest regardless, suddenly fidgeting with her fingers.  
“Well.. Couldn’t we..”  
“It’s really the only option unless we wanna take 2 trips or call a cab,” Jeremy explained, interrupting her.  
“I’m sorry guys, I don’t mean to be this much trouble, I can just get a cab like when I came,” Adam suggested, always so polite.  
“No man, we’re all going to the same place, it’s no trouble at all!” Taylor assured him, nodding to Jeremy who unlocked the car. Taylor and Adam squeezed in the back while Jeremy looked to the girls expectantly.  
“Well come on then,” He said, nodding to them, “Let’s see if y’all can fit.” Lights took a deep breath and ducked into the car. Trying to make herself as small as possible, she looked back up to Hayley who had a strange look on her face. Lights cocked her head questioningly. The redhead shrugged and awkwardly managed to climb into the car, scooting in and struggling to close the door. Despite her small stature, she still had to hunch over, leaving her neck at a terribly uncomfortable angle.  
“We all good?” Jeremy asked, glancing to his right at the girls squished beside him.  
“Ahh, I guess,” Lights said, trying hard to not be distracted by Hayley’s hair all up in her face. She smelled like raspberries.  
“I’m sorry, am I crushing you?” Hayley asked, as Lights’ heart stuttered. Sorry I’m crushing on you? Is that what she’d said? No, you must’ve misheard her, Lights. Get yourself together.  
“W- Wait what?”  
“Am I squishing you? I can kinda move a little bit if ya want?”  
“Oh, no, you’re fine,” Lights exhaled, realizing what had actually been said. Regardless, her heart was still beating quickly and she was blushing like crazy. Hayley’s neck was cramping up, having to sit at such a strange angle. She was uncomfortable, but not only because of her neck. Jeremy came to an abrupt stop, causing Hayley to tumble up onto the dashboard. She squeaked as she hit her head, tears almost welling up in her eyes.  
“Sorry! Is everyone okay?” Jeremy asked immediately.  
“Yeah,”  
“I think so. Hayley?”  
“I’m alright,” She breathed. As Lights shifted underneath her, Hayley could feel her heartbeat fast and erratic. Even in the crowded car it felt undeniably intimate. She wondered if it was her that had that effect on the brunette. No, of course not. I mean.. Maybe? She looked so disappointed when I said pretend it never happened.. Jeez I feel terrible.. Wait.. Do I want her to like me? No. Nope. Nooo Hayley stop it.. Damn inner monologue.. The guys made talk about some game back home, with Lights chiming in occasionally. Within 15 minutes they were just about back to the hotel. Lights touched Hayley’s arm as she turned to look at her.  
“Are you okay? You haven’t said much this whole time.” Lights looked concerned. Hayley felt guilty immediately; She’d been such a bitch to Lights yet she still cared so much about Hayley. Oh my god I don’t deserve this.. She couldn’t help but think.  
“Yeah, I uh just don’t really follow sports much,” She lied, as Lights smiled at her and nodded in understanding. Jeremy, who had watched countless games with her, gave her a questioning look. Thankfully, he let it go. Hayley let out a quiet sigh as Jeremy cut the engine and everyone began getting out of the car. As soon as she was out of the cramped vehicle she was filled with relief and she felt like she could breathe again. Stretching like she’d just woken from a cat nap, she rubbed her neck which was stiff and achy.  
“Oh, Hayley?” Adam started as she looked at him curiously.  
“Yeah?”  
“What’s up with you, did you lose your phone or..?”  
“I’ve had it off..” She mumbled.  
“Well you know you can’t do that,” He sighed. “We have to be able to reach you..”  
“I know..” She looked at her shoes.  
“Well, alright.. Will you turn it back on by the end of the night?”  
“I, uh, sure..” She pressed her lips into a thin line. The group reached the room, back down to 4, seeing as Adam had to run to help one of the tech guys with something that had made him sigh with exasperation. The girls had both changed into pajamas, Hayley in short shorts and a sweatshirt, and Lights donning black soccer shorts and an old Descendents tee. As everyone sat in the living room, they discussed their plan of action for the remainder of the night.  
“Movie night?” Jeremy suggested.  
“Sure,” Hayley said quickly, looking to distract herself and make the night last as long as possible. Lights glanced over at her with concern. Taylor started setting up the TV, going through the OnDemand channels.  
“Oh, let’s watch a horror movie!” Jeremy exclaimed, looking immediately to Taylor, waiting for his reaction.  
“Oh, uh, yeah, let’s do it!” He agreed after a moment of hesitation. Hayley turned now, too, to look at him quizzically.  
“Shit, guys, if we watch a scary movie I’m gonna freak out.” Lights said, warning everyone as Taylor smiled.  
“Well that’s okay, I can keep you safe,” He started, only half-jokingly, patting the spot next to him on the couch. Lights paused for a moment, looking to Hayley standing next to her. Taylor’s advances were getting more and more uncomfortable, in all honesty. She looked at Hayley, trying to communicate with her in her mind, pleading for her to save her from having to have to sit over with Taylor. The redhead smirked, seeming to read her gaze.  
“BULLSHIT TAYLOR,” Hayley exclaimed, pulling Lights down to sit with her in a chair, “You’re the worst with scary movies! You scream like a little girl!” Taylor pouted at this, bummed that Hayley had blown his cool guy cover. The other three laughed as Hayley latched onto Lights’ arm.  
“She’s mine tonight, loverboy.” She said as Lights blushed. “Can we have the couch though, Taylor, instead of this chair?” She asked as Jeremy raised an eyebrow.  
“You mean the loveseat?”  
“Right.” Hayley laughed, smirking at Lights next to her.  
“I was here first dude,” Taylor shrugged, not going to give up his seat.  
“Fine,” Hayley said determined, “We’ll make do. C’mon,” She pulled Lights up who gave her a questioning look. Hayley took her into her bedroom and immediately the brunette’s heart was racing.  
“What are we doing?” She asked nervously as Hayley strode over to the closet.  
“You’ll see,” She replied confidently. Lights found herself staring at Hayley’s legs as she bent over to pick something up from the carpet. Shit. Friends. Just friends.  
“We’re gonna start it!” Jeremy called from the other room.  
“Coming!” Hayley shouted back. She turned around, arms suddenly full of spare blankets and pillows. Lights was still lost as to what was going on, but still followed her back into the TV room without question. The redhead dropped all the blankets on the floor in front of the TV and pulled Lights down to the floor with her. Just the touch of her hand felt like an electric current running through her entire body, so, naturally, how the rest of the night went was more or less torture for both parties.  
Hayley and Lights arranged the pillows and blankets into what became a wonderfully comfortable nest, and as they settled in, the movie got progressively more and more scary. Hayley seemed unfazed by it, seeming distant and lost in her own thoughts, but nevertheless, every time Lights jumped or made a noise she noticed, turning to make sure she was alright. As the movie neared the end, Lights was still on edge, regardless of Jeremy and Taylor’s snores from behind them on the sofa and curled up in a chair. A jump scare made her squeak quietly and bury her face in a pillow. Hayley smiled, searching through the bundle of blankets to find the brunette’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Lights kept her head down in the pillow for a few moments longer, trying to hide her burning cheeks. Looking up, the scariest part of the movie was flashing quickly across the screen, a little too gory for Lights’ taste. With Hayley next to her she found herself unable to concentrate on the TV. Shyly, she turned her head slightly to glance at the redhead to her left. She caught her eyes, already looking at her, blushing again as the credits began to roll. She found herself grateful the room fell dark, so that Hayley couldn’t tell the color of her cheeks. She held Hayley’s gaze, the moment becoming more and more intimate with each second. The fact that their hands were still intertwined beneath the blanket didn’t help the matter, either. Hayley was the first to break the stare, taking her hand back too, running it through her hair. Her first instinct, though, was to do the same to Lights, to reach up and gently push her hair out of her eyes. Stop it Hayley. Just friends. She thought to herself, sighing as Lights frowned.  
“What?”  
“Oh, I’m just tired,” She stumbled over her words, “but I don’t want to sleep, ‘cause then I’ll have to turn on my phone before..” Lights saw her worry, and matched it with support.  
“Oh.. Well you’ve gotta do it tonight, no use procrastinating. You need sleep,-” She stopped herself before she said ‘babe’. The brunette had a habit of calling people by pet names: babe, hun, darling, etc. Something told her that this situation wouldn’t be the best time for it, though.  
“I know..” Hayley sighed, turning the phone over in her hand.  
“C’mon, you don’t have to even respond to anything yet. Just post something on twitter and leave it for a while longer, people will understand.”  
“I guess..” She finally gave in. Lights gave her an encouraging smile as she hit the power button. The next 2 minutes were tense and filled with dread while they waited silently for it to turn on. As the lock screen loaded, it immediately began blowing up with texts, tweets, and tons of missed calls. Hayley said nothing as they watched them pile up.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Hayley?? Call me when you see this.”  
“I’m sorry. If you need anything just c...”  
“Call me hun.”  
“r u okay??”  
13 missed calls and other messages from twitter filled the screen. Hayley’s breathing hitched and Lights watched as she saw the beginnings of tears welling in her eyes.  
“What do I do?” She asked quietly, swallowing hard, “I mean, I can’t just keep ignoring them.”  
“Yeah, you can.” Lights countered, as Hayley looked at her curiously through blurry eyes. “Like I said, just post something on twitter- here, can I do?” She stuttered, asking for the phone. Hayley nodded, handing it to her eagerly while wiping her eyes in frustration. Lights opened twitter, and began typing something.  
“Here, does this look good?” She asked, turning it to Hayley for approval.  
“I appreciate everyone’s concern but unless it’s something for work I’m gonna have some space for a while. Thanks guys. See you at the show tomorrow.”  
“Yeah... I.. That's actually good.. Thanks.” She stuttered, trying to return Lights' smile. Lights posted it and handed the phone back to Hayley who took it warily. She bit her lip looking at it, conflicted as to whether or not she should look at her messages and everything that was being spread around on twitter. Lights put her hand on her arm.   
“Tomorrow, okay? Let's get some sleep.” At this Hayley genuinely smiled gratefully and tiredly, happy to not have to make the choice herself.   
“Okay.” She tossed the phone across the floor and snuggled down into the nest of blankets the two had created over the course of the movie. Lights sat up, reaching forward to turn off the TV, which had provided dim illumination up until now. She lay back down, with Hayley only a few inches away. As she lay with her eyes open, trying stubbornly to think of anything but the smell of Hayley's hair, a small voice broke the silence.   
“Thank you..” Hayley whispered, as Lights smiled. A response wasn't needed, but nevertheless she found herself grinning an ”Of course,” in the dark. The seconds seemed to pass like minutes which seemed to last for hours, and eventually the restless brunette heard the soft breathing of the girl next to her even out as she fell asleep. Lights found herself more awake than ever and a little envious, to be completely honest, of Hayley's sleep. Tossing and turning, she became more and more frustrated, and more desperate for sleep with each passing minute. As she flipped to her right side again, facing Hayley, for what seemed like the hundredth time, Hayley stirred beside her and made a quiet grunt, followed by a yawn.   
“Shit, did I wake you?” Lights whispered, frowning.   
“Yeah, but I don't mind,” Hayley replied sleepily, “Are you okay?”   
“Yeah, just can't sleep,” Lights replied, realizing that this was the second night in a row she'd found herself in the same predicament.  
“Oh, I'm sorry,” The redhead yawned, obviously beginning to fall back asleep. Lights sighed, and turned over again, pained having to keep her distance from Hayley. As she receded back into her thoughts, she was startled by a warm body pressing close to her from behind. She froze, holding her breath for a moment before slowly turning back to face Hayley. She had her hands balled up to her chest, and as Lights turned to face her she instinctively grabbed onto the brunette’s shirt, making it ride up almost all the way. Butterflies in her stomach wouldn’t settle with a sleeping Hayley unknowingly being so intimate. She sighed quietly, conflicted. Jesus, Hayley. Just friends? You’re sure making this easy, aren’t you.. She weighed her options for the rest of the night, reaching up to the couch behind her for Taylor’s phone to check the time. She had to be careful not to move too much, for fear of disturbing Hayley who clung onto her shirt like a child. The hibernating bear that was Jeremy snuffled as she took Taylor’s phone and she fought to suppress laughter. The time was 1:23.   
1:23! Wishes! What do I wish for? Oh gosh.. Umm.. I wish to be able to sleep, and I wish for Taylor to stop being so weird.. And I wish for the show to go well tomorrow, and.. She continued making small wishes, not allowing herself to yet think of her number one wish. ..and I wish Hayley will be okay, and.. And I actually just.. Just wish for H- She stopped her thought short as the time changed. She felt a wave of relief that it apparently wasn’t meant to be, though she couldn’t help being a little bummed. She realized she couldn’t move, with Hayley like this at least. The brunette sighed again, settling further into the pillow she and Hayley now shared. Still desperate for sleep, her hyper awareness was making it difficult to relax; she realized she could feel Hayley’s breath on her neck. Fuck it. She thought, as she put her arm over Hayley and pulled her closer. The redhead mumbled something incomprehensible and rested her head on Lights chest. As Lights’ heart calmed down she found herself able to close her eyes finally and fall asleep, content for the time being with Hayley in her arms.

Morning came in a haze, and the smell of food cooking flowed through Lights’ veins as she grumbled, waking up begrudgingly. Suddenly the feeling of dread flooded over her as she opened her eyes, finding Hayley nowhere to be seen. The room was lit up from all angles; the blinds were left open from the night before, allowing the 3:00 sun to come streaming into the room, and the kitchen light was contributing as well. Lights squinted and sat up, stretching a bit. A shadow danced over the floor next to her hand and her eyes followed it to Hayley standing at the stove with her back to the room. She was humming quietly as she spun around with a pan in one hand and a spatula in the other. She smiled as she saw Lights.  
“I didn't wake you, did I?” She asked quietly as Lights smiled back and shook her head no. She yawned and stood up, careful not to bump into Taylor who was hanging half off the couch, looking like he could fall at any moment. The brunette walked over to the kitchen gingerly, trying her best to stay quiet for the two sleeping boys.  
“Anything I can help with?” She asked as Hayley shook her head no.  
“I was going to wake you up in a few minutes, it's just about done,” She explained as she got 2 plates from the cupboard and filled them each with something Lights couldn't quite distinguish, but smelled amazing.  
“Oh, by the way, I think I got all snuggly with you last night. Sorry. I uh, do that sometimes.” Hayley apologized sheepishly.  
“It's fine,” Lights half lied, “You kept me warm.” They both laughed.  
“So I was thinking maybe we could go out for a bit before soundcheck,” Hayley started, handing Lights a plate and fork and heading to the table to sit. The brunette nodded, following and sitting across from Hayley.  
“Oh, yeah, thanks for this,” She stammered as Hayley smiled at her.  
“No problem. Sometimes I cook when I'm stressed.” At this Lights frowned, but Hayley only shrugged, looking back to her food.  
“But yeah so what did you have in mind?” Lights asked, returning to the original subject.  
“Well I thought we could just go exploring downtown some more, but it's kinda late now,” She nodded to the clock which read 3:29, “I didn’t wanna wake you guys up until I absolutely had to. We have to be at the venue at 4:50, according to Adam.” She looked down at her phone. Lights suddenly remembered why the redhead was upset- all the shit on twitter about her and Chad. She wanted to comfort Hayley, but she couldn't help remembering what Jeremy has told her, about he and Taylor never being able to comfort her. Nevertheless, Lights reached across the table, giving Hayley's hand a squeeze before getting up to put her plate in the dishwasher. She didn't meet Hayley's eyes when she smiled appreciatively up at her, though, feeling a little guilty. Hayley watched her for a moment before following her back to the kitchenette. The brunette's hair was a mess, having just woken up, and the remains of her makeup were smudged all down her cheeks. Hayley thought she looked beautiful, though. As she stood next to her, she felt like there was a magnetic force pulling her to Lights. It's just because I miss Chad, she told herself, swallowing the lump that sat in her throat. Lights gave her a funny look that asked “Are you okay?” Hayley smiled awkwardly, uncomfortable with such concern for her. Lights looked up just in time to see Taylor falling off the couch onto the floor where Hayley and Lights had slept. The noise then woke Jeremy, who raised his head sleepily.  
“Kat no..” He mumbled, before falling back into the chair. Lights and Hayley exchanged a look and then burst into laughter. Taylor stood, rubbing his head after hitting it on the table.  
“You okay?” Hayley laughed as Taylor nodded, smiling and making his way toward the girls.  
“Do I get any of this?” He asked sheepishly, referring to the abundance of food that was scattered throughout the kitchen.  
“No.” Hayley said, sweeping her arm toward everything, “It’s all mine.”  
“Can y'all be quieter?” A grouchy Jeremy called, his face muffled in a pillow.  
“No!” Hayley scoffed, throwing a pancake at him, “Get up!” Jeremy groaned, rolling off the chair and onto his feet.  
“Did you just.. Pancake me?”  
“I might’ve.”  
“Well, Ms. Pancaker, I may require more than one pancake,” He said, taking a bite.  
“Don’t call me ‘Ms.’, sounds like my mom!”  
“What sounds like me?” Cristi asked, picking up a pancake as she casually strolled through the room. Hayley was speechless and stumbled backwards into a bowl of unused pancake mix. “I was in the area, feeling peckish, thought I’d stop in.” Hayley attacked her with a hug, speechless.  
“Mom!”  
“I wanted to make sure you weren’t dead, honey, you kind of went AWOL. But it looks like you’re all doing okay?” She laughed, seeing the mess of the kitchen. “C’mere you,” She pulled Hayley back into a hug, and Jeremy thought he saw something change hands. “You too, boys,” She motioned for them to join the group hug, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Jeremy and Taylor shared a look of suspicion, before stepping to join the hug. Suddenly, Hayley and her mom whipped into action, as soon as their targets had stepped into range. A flash of green and pink plastic caught the boys by surprise and suddenly they were being doused with water.  
“NOOO, NOT THE PANCAKES,” Jeremy yelled, diving to protect the plate from any streams of water that strayed too far from their targets. Hayley and her mom were on top of the boys, their water guns rapidly spewing H2O. Jeremy hunched over the plate protectively. He grabbed it, and ran with it a few paces to the couch, which flipped over as he jumped on it. The pancakes flew everywhere and he dived once more, desperately trying to collect them out of mid-air. He managed to snatch a few, but the rest plummeted to the ground.  
“WHY DO THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?” He cried, falling to his knees as the pancakes rained down around him. Taylor was trying to shield himself with a newspaper, picked up off the table.  
“THIS ESCALATED SO QUICKLY,” He exclaimed, a pancake slapping his stubbly chin as it finished its journey to the floor. Suddenly, the room became aware of pancakes flying now with a purpose. They were coming from Jeremy, who had begun throwing the squishy disks like ninja stars. A small voice interrupted the warzone.  
“Room service?” A girl stood in the door, which Cristi had left open. She walked calmly to the door, Hayley still dominating the battlefield behind her.  
“Not now sweetheart,” Cristi smiled warmly, as she started to close the door, but not fast enough. Hayley, while still soaking Taylor who was pleading for mercy, caught a glimpse of Jeremy from the corner of her eye. Oh no, She thought, He’s in the zone. But it was too late, for the fatal breakfast cake had already departed with great gusto from the fluffy warrior’s nimble fingertips, a battle cry still ringing from his throat. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. The once warm and appetizing projectile whizzed through the air, past Cristi, who watched it banefully. The maid stood frozen as the pancake drew closer to its final destination. Suddenly everything caught up in real time, and the pancake inevitably slapped into her eye and thudded to the hallway’s carpeted floor. Everyone stood still, and the look on Jeremy’s face was one of pure horror. The room was silent, and a pancake slid off the wall, falling down with a small thump. The maid stood in shock, her face cold as stone. She silently bent over and picked up the fallen soldier. She looked Cristi dead in the eye and bit into the pancake without blinking. She slowly chewed and swallowed, and extended her reach toward Cristi. She handed the remaining piece of pancake back to the blonde, then, without a word, turned back to her cart and walked calmly down the hall to the next room. Cristi slowly closed the door and looked down at the half eaten pancake she now held. Hayley let her gun drop to the floor and sat down slowly before speaking.  
“Well.. that happened.”


	7. One more song!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first show woooo!!!

“So why are you here again?” Jeremy asked Cristi as he picked up one end of the overturned couch, Taylor taking the other.   
“Adam offered to fly me in for a day.. I was worried,” She trailed off. It was obvious she was referring to Hayley’s troubled love life.  
“Right.. Sorry. I’m okay,” Hayley glanced at Lights as she said this, though she wasn’t looking. “That’s so nice of him though.”  
“Yeah, but you know I’ve had him owing me a favor for years now,” Cristi laughed, clapping her hands, turning and changing the subject, “So. You’re the notorious Lights!”  
“That’s me!” Lights smiled, throwing a paper towel into the trash bag that was filling quickly as they finished with their cleaning.  
“I’ve heard so much about you actually,” Hayley’s mom told her as Lights cocked her head in curiosity, “This one,” She motioned to Hayley who stood frozen, clearly not liking where this was going, “This one here wouldn’t stop talking about how excited she was to be touring with you. You have no idea how many times I heard ‘Lights this, Lights that!’” Lights was confused, looking to Hayley who was quickly turning the same shade as her hair.  
“I thought you said FBR never told you who you were touring with..?” She said, remembering Hayley’s flustered excuse from a couple days ago. Hayley shuffled her feet uncomfortably.  
“I.. Uh.. Yeah..”  
“So you lied?”  
Hayley briefly considered an excuse, but disregarded the idea quickly. “Yeah..”  
Lights frowned, “Right..” Cristi looked between the two, trying to will some of the tension out of the air.  
“Why?” Lights asked Hayley.  
“It was an honest mistake,” Hayley stated earnestly, desperate to redeem herself, “I just was so nervous and flustered and it just came out, and then I guess I felt like I needed another excuse, aside from the fans, since I was so nervous just around you..” At this Lights sighed, causing Hayley to bite her lip worriedly.  
“..Hayley, if that wasn’t so cute I’d be a lot more pissed. But that’s.. Actually adorable though, so you’re off the hook..”  
“Sorry,” Hayley grinned, relieved.   
“Alright, alright, let’s get going, yeah?” Jeremy asked, making a face at the sudden cute.  
“Right, 15 minutes, guys,” Cristi agreed as she checked the time. They finished up cleaning and everyone managed to pile into the rental car once more as they headed out to the venue. Hayley had to sit on Lights again, since the back still was full of junk. This time, though, it wasn’t as bad, and Hayley didn’t hit her head on anything. Everyone talked excitedly about the first show of the tour, and moaned about how early soundcheck was. As they got to the venue and found the crew and Adam, he thanked Hayley for having turned her phone back on. As they parted from a hug, Hayley laughed uncomfortably, not wanting to think about what felt like a bomb burning a hole in her pocket.  
Soundcheck went slowly and was not without frustration, as per usual. It was fairly dull until they just about finished up and Justin decided to start playing covers. They tore through a few acoustic measures of Jimmy Eat World, and then suddenly the next chord progression particularly caught Hayley’s attention, as she looked around for Lights.  
“Hey, I know this,” Lights smirked from sidestage, recognizing her own song.  
“Come sing it with me,” Hayley motioned for her to join her. Lights strode to the center of the huge stage where Hayley met her, relinquishing control of the mic.  
“If you are a cliffhanger ending,  
I’m the one that doesn’t know anything,  
Like a magpie and a ring,  
I am always going to be looking right to you,” She sang, Hayley trying her hardest not to stare in awe.  
“Oh, you capture my attention,  
Carefully listening,  
Don’t wanna miss a thing,  
Keeping my eyes on you,” Hayley sang now, shyly at first, but better with Lights smiling encouragingly.  
“Got me on my toes,” They sang together, though Hayley couldn’t help but giggle.  
“If I were to hideout on the sea,  
You’d be whispering from the westerlies,  
And any book I’ll ever read,  
You’d be the line that sticks out to me,  
Out to me,” Lights circled Hayley as she sang, serenading her.  
“Oh, you capture my attention,  
Carefully listening,  
Don’t wanna miss a thing,  
Keeping my eyes on you,” Hayley countered, before handing the mic back to the brunette.  
“Oh, you capture my attention,  
I’m anticipating,  
I’m watching, I’m waiting,  
For you to make your move,” Lights sang, fading out shyly and finally looking away from Hayley as Justin stopped playing suddenly. The girls looked at him inquisitively.  
“Aww, why’d you stop?” Lights asked as he shrugged, looking uncomfortable.  
“You guys were, uh, getting pretty intense over there,” He stated as Jeremy and Taylor could be seen nodding in agreement, “I’m pretty sure if we kept going you’d have ended up making out or something.”  
“He’s right, that was seriously pretty intense,” Jeremy nodded before downing the last of a water bottle. Hayley and Lights looked at each other with this, both blushing to some degree, (Lights far more than Hayley), and unable to hold the other’s gaze. Lights smirked, her hand instinctively going to the back of her neck, looking down as she turned to go get her water. Her thoughts were willing the excessive color to leave her cheeks. Likewise, Hayley still stood center stage, looking intently at the mic in her hands, peeling away at a little piece of tape. She smiled a little, shaking her head as she thought of how Lights had looked smiling sheepishly at her for just a moment, blushing bright pink.  
Everyone hung around the venue for the rest of the evening, trying to stay entertained but mostly sleeping and browsing instagram. Still, the hours before the show passed slowly. Finally, Lights went on and Hayley made sure to watch her from sidestage, occasionally catching her eye and making a silly face, causing Lights to laugh into her lyrics more than a couple times. As she finished her set, the crowd cheered as she began to walk offstage with a thank you and goodnight. She walked towards Hayley, who handed her a cold water bottle. She drank it gratefully while Hayley looked at her shoes, waiting for her to finish.  
“Thanks,” she said finally, the bottle nearly empty. Hayley watched her hands peeling the label off.  
“Yeah, you were great!” She beamed as Lights laughed.  
“Thanks,” She repeated, “You guys are gonna kill it though!”  
“Damn right!” Jeremy chimed in loudly from behind Hayley, who jumped at his sudden presence.  
“Don’t do that!” She breathed as Jeremy and Taylor laughed, “What do you want?”  
“Oh, no, we didn't need anything. Just wanted to embarrass you in front of your girl crush,” Jeremy snickered, and then it was Hayley’s turn to turn bright red. “I’m only kidding with ya,” He continued, “you two are cute though.”  
“Thanks?” Lights laughed. They went back to the couches they’d been lounging around on once Paramore got their in-ears and everything set up, and waited to go on. Soon enough someone was yelling, “Paramore, 10 minutes!” The boys went to get their guitars and Hayley and Lights were left relatively alone once again.  
“Excited?” Lights asked, looking at Hayley’s leg which was bouncing uncontrollably.  
“Oh yeah,” She replied between warm-ups. Someone called 2 minutes and Hayley got up by the stage door, jumping around excitedly. The lights went out and the crowd immediately went silent. Taylor went out first, followed by Jeremy. The crowd cheered, and Hayley hesitated just a moment. Finally she bounced onstage, and the fans went wild. The show had exceeded everyone’s expectations for the first of the tour, and 12 songs later Hayley was offstage again, this time Lights handing her water.  
“You’ve got an encore, right?” The brunette asked in Hayley's ear to be heard over the crowd's chant of “ONE MORE SONG!”  
“Of course,” Hayley smiled as she finished drinking. She jumped around for a couple minutes, itching to get back out, but having to wait. Lights watched her jumping eagerly, and couldn't help noticing how damn cute she was when she was all passionate about something. Finally after what seemed like forever to Hayley, she headed back onstage.  
“You guys wanna hear some more?” She asked, making the fans scream deafeningly. “I SAID, DID YOU WANNA HEAR MORE?”  
…  
“Alright. That's better. I guess we could play a few more songs for y'all,” She said, turning to face sidestage again, “Come on guys!” She called, as Taylor and Jeremy jogged back out. They jumped right into That's What You Get, with Hayley giving it her all. They played 3 more songs, and then Hayley wrapped up the night.  
“Thank you guys so, so much,” She panted, putting the mic back on the stand and walking offstage with everyone else.


	8. Dance with me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clubbing??? dancing???? drinking???????? douchebags!!!!

The days and nights of the South American tour seemed to blend together in a haze of excessive heat, humidity, and music making. By the end, everyone was in a better place than they started off in; Hayley, for example, could finally be trusted with her phone at night, trusting she wouldn’t try to call Chad and beg for him to take her back- a situation that had to be stopped more times than Hayley liked to admit. In fact, by the end of the tour, everyone had grown so close they were able to last minute schedule Lights on the Self Titled tour with You Me At Six and Zedd, stretching across the US and some of Canada. They were just about a month into the tour and everything was going pretty much perfectly…

“Come on!” Hayley urged Lights, jumping around the bus eagerly. Halloween was tomorrow, and costumes had yet to be acquired.  
“Alright, alright,” Lights sighed, tying her shoes and standing up. Hayley gave her a dopey grin and opened the door.  
“Be back later!” She called to whoever was listening. The day before, Jeremy and Taylor had gone out without telling anyone, to get matching Mario and Luigi costumes, which somehow everyone but them found weird. Jeremy of course insisted on getting Mario, and had been calling Taylor “Green Mario,” constantly, leaving Taylor annoyed and regretting his decision.  
Hayley and Lights walked down the street, together, but not with each other. Hayley was a few paces ahead, nearly skipping, and Lights walked more lethargically, obviously not wanting to go. Hayley reached a crosswalk, turning to wait for Lights, who didn’t meet her eyes.  
“Come on, try and forget about it just for a little bit,” Hayley pleaded, taking her hand so that they could walk faster, “It’ll be alright, I’m sure we’ll figure something out..” Lights sighed at this, nodding. She couldn’t help but worry, though. On the drive to Albuquerque one of her keyboards had somehow fallen out of a trailer. They had managed to salvage it from the road, but things weren’t looking too good. She tried to do as Hayley said, and not worry about it now. It was their day off, and they had costume picking out to do.  
“I’m excited for tomorrow!” Hayley chirped as she looked at her phone, following directions to a thrift store. Lights smiled, nodding and following Hayley inside an unfamiliar store. Before she knew what was happening, Hayley had found some sort of bunny costume on a rack Lights hadn’t even seen.  
“Try it on,” She said, holding it out to Lights.  
“This? You’ve got to be kidding-” She started, incredulous.  
“No, I mean it’d be funny. Jeez Lights I know you well enough to know you’re not going to be a bunny -probably some warrior goddess or alien invader or something. But try it on anyway. Pleeease?”  
“…Fine,” Lights gave in, snatching it from Hayley, but she couldn’t suppress a smile.  
“Uhhh, fitting rooms are this way,” She nodded and Lights followed.  
\--  
“Alright, let’s see it!” Hayley clapped her hands, waiting for Lights to come out of the stall.  
“Do I have to..? I look like a 15 year old.”  
“Yes.” The door slowly opened, revealing Lights as a fairly revealing bunny. Hayley laughed when she saw her, and Lights slammed the door back shut.  
“Jerk.”  
“Oh my goodness,” Hayley laughed, catching her breath, “It’s wonderful. Stay in there. I’m going to go get more for you to do.” At this Lights groaned, but in all reality she was glad Hayley had taken her out to get her mind off things. Soon enough Hayley had returned, arms full of colorful garments. She threw one over the door, and Lights laughed upon seeing it. A mildly sexy cop outfit, complete with a hat awaited her.  
“Really, Hayley?”  
“… Mmmyeah.”  
“Well.. Alright,” She shook her head and got dressed, opening the door to show Hayley. She looked Lights up and down, spending a couple seconds too long staring. Lights cleared her throat and Hayley’s eyes snapped back up to meet hers.  
“Oops, sorry,” She chuckled, “You can really pull these off though.. Here, do this one next,” She handed Lights another dress, which upon closer inspection was supposed to be something a vampire would wear. Lights thought the plunging V neck was highly impractical for a killing creature, though. She showed Hayley, who nodded in approval, obviously enjoying the dress-up.  
“Try this, under this shirt,” She told her, holding the clothes up to Lights.  
“Wait, I actually like this one,” Lights said, taking a look at it. Hayley had handed her a gold sequined bra and a black button up shirt. It looked super sexy and she immediately thought of makeup she could do that would match it perfectly. She got dressed once more, letting Hayley see the result.  
“This. I like this,” Lights told her, smiling as she stood in front of the mirror.  
“Yeah,” Hayley agreed, “Try on one more, though?” She asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide a mischievous grin.  
“Is it another dumb one?”  
Hayley refused to answer, and instead handed her a black and white garment.  
“..What is i- Oh God, Hayley,” She turned bright red, threw the maid lingerie back at her, and stormed back into to the stall to get dressed again.  
“Sorry, but… Not sorry,” Hayley laughed, as Lights pouted coming out of the fitting room.  
“Aww no, don’t make that face,” Hayley said, hugging her. Lights didn’t return the hug, still pouting.  
“I swear sometimes, you only like me for my body,” She joked as Hayley took a step back.  
“Hey, have you seen this?” She gestured up and down to Lights who shook her head pretending to sigh.  
“See, this is what I’m talking about Hayley.”  
“Nooooo! See, I like you because you’re awesome, promise. I like you because you’re talented and thoughtful and kind and you make me smile. The fact that you’re also the most beautiful person I’ve ever met is just a bonus.” Hayley felt herself blushing as soon as she’d finished spilling feelings all over Lights. Shit, did I just say all that?! That.. Jeez Hayley.. She hadn’t meant to go that far. Lights seemed to be speechless.   
“I..” Hayley put her finger to Lights’ lips.  
“Shhh, no need for words,” She joked, quickly changing the subject. “Are you gonna buy that?”  
“I think so, yeah.”  
“Then let’s find me something too,” Hayley laughed as Lights followed her to find another costume. 

\---  
“Come on come on come onnnn!” Lights urged. Now she was the one waiting for Hayley, though it wasn’t unusual, what with Hayley’s general lateness record to, well, everything.  
“Alright, I’m almost done,” Hayley called from the bathroom. Lights sighed, shuffling over to stand in the doorway.  
“You look gorgeous, come onnn,” She said, actually tugging on Hayley’s shirt like a little kid. It slipped down a bit, being looser than Lights had anticipated. “Oops,” She said as Hayley pulled it back up, looking at her.  
“What are you trying to do, strip me? I thought you wanted to get out of here,” Hayley smirked as Lights blushed.  
“You know what? You can just.. Be quiet,” Lights attempted to retort, making Hayley laugh.  
“Alright you, let’s go,” She said, putting her makeup away.  
“Finally.” They walked down the street a short while, checking for directions more times than either of them would have admitted. Usually around this time of the year both girls were used to being bundled up more or less, but in Pomona, California, the weather was warm, even in October. As they walked, Hayley couldn’t help noticing Light’s extra short shorts catching the eyes of more than a few passersby.  
They finally got to the club, seeing a couple people waiting outside.  
“Aaay ladies, lookin' goood!” Max of You Me At Six called as he and Dan walked over to greet the new arrivals.  
“Hey,” she laughed, pulling him into a hug.  
“Seriously though, you two look great,” Max said.  
“Alright, quit staring, is everyone else inside?” She laughed.  
“Uh, yeah, duh Hayley, you guys are the last to get here,” He smirked as she hit him playfully.  
“Shut up, let’s go,” She started toward the doors of the club, smiling and shaking her head. The music hit them like a ton of bricks, deafeningly loud and heavy. Few heads turned with their arrival, but among those who did were Jeremy, Matt, and Josh. Taylor and Chris were talking animatedly a little bit apart from everyone else. They always seemed to get so cliquey when they hung out. The newcomers sat down with everyone, exchanging what greetings could be heard over the music. Hayley sat down next to Max and he said something in her ear, which she laughed at. Lights watched, not realizing that he only did that so that she could hear him better without having to yell.  
“So what’s the word with your keyboard? Figured something out yet?” Josh asked Lights, pulling her attention away from Hayley.  
“Oh, I uh, yeah I’m not sure.. Haven’t heard anything..” She stumbled over her words as Hayley looked over.  
“Hey, try not to think about it, remember?” She said, frowning.  
“Oh, sorry, are we not talking about that? No problem,” Josh smiled apologetically. Lights nodded gratefully; glad to drop the subject even though now she was thinking about it again.  
While Lights talked with Josh, she stayed focused enough to respond and not seem too spacey, but in all reality all she could think was how much she didn’t want to be there. She couldn’t stop watching Hayley and Max sitting together, a little too close for her liking. Every time Hayley laughed she had to keep herself from cringing. She wanted to be the one making her laugh.  
“Hey.. Are you-” Josh started, looking a little worried, but stopped as she stood up suddenly.   
“I'm gonna go grab a drink,” She said. Hayley now looked up at her, surprised. For some reason she'd assumed Lights didn't drink, though she really had no basis for thinking so.  
“I’ll come with you,” Josh started to stand up, but she waved him away.  
“No. I mean, its fine. I’ll be back in a bit,” She walked off, Hayley’s eyes following her until the path she cleared started to fill in again.  
Lights weaved around people and eventually landed at the bar, sitting down and sinking her face into her hands. As she waited for the bartender to get to her, she couldn’t help looking back to where Hayley sat with Max, still talking animatedly. She turned back to the bar, frustrated,  
“Just give me drinks until I can’t remember my own name.”  
\--  
Some 20 minutes later, a small hand tapped on Lights’ shoulder. She downed another shot before turning to see who wanted what.  
“What?” She snapped.  
“Oh, I was just wondering if you were okay.. You’ve been over here for a while..” Hayley said somewhat defensively, reacting to Lights not so warm greeting.  
“Sorry. I’m.. I’m okay,” She said after a moment of hesitation. Hayley glanced at the empty shot glass on the counter as the bartender quickly replaced it with another.  
“What are you doing?”  
“I dunno,” She shrugged, setting the second glass down. Her breath reeked of alcohol.  
“Come on. Dance with me?” Hayley sighed, tugging on her arm, wanting to get her away from the bar before she got much drunker. Lights nodded in agreement, hopping off the barstool and letting Hayley lead her into the crowd.  
“Oh, I actually love this song,” Hayley smiled. They danced for a while, getting more and more into it as they continued. Lights’ hands quickly left Hayley’s hips, roaming freely as she gained confidence, especially in her extra tipsy state. Hayley didn’t seem to mind though, not for the moment anyway. She leaned her head back on Lights’ shoulder, closing her eyes. She couldn’t hear anything but the music pounding in her head, and she couldn’t feel anything but the bass, and Lights. Oh, she could definitely feel Lights. She reached back, softly tangling her fingers in her hair. She turned to look at Lights who was all smiles watching Hayley. Hayley smirked, biting her lip and turning around. She held Lights’ hips, trying to think clearly. The hot, smoky air, pulsing lights, and loud music distracted her and she bit her lip again in concentration. Most distracting, though, were Lights eyes, holding her gaze steadily. She rested her head into the crook of her neck, trying to think for a moment. She didn’t want to get too carried away with her, and she could already feel herself getting surprisingly aroused. Just dancing usually didn’t get her so hot, but with Lights it seemed to be a whole different thing.   
“We.. We should st-” She was interrupted by Lights kissing her. She hesitated for a moment before pulling away, shaking her head.  
“No, no.. We can’t- You can’t just.. No,” She said, hearing catcalls from a group of guys close by. “Hey, fuck off,” She snapped, turning to them. Her face showed clearly how upset she was. They all ‘oooh’d at Hayley, making her even more mad. She’d turned red, facing Lights once more before storming away.  
“I’m sorry,” Lights said quietly, but Hayley had already gone.  
“Hey, you okay?” One of the guys nearby called to Lights as they laughed. She, being more than slightly drunk, took it for genuine concern.  
“Kind of,” She said, walking over to them. One guy stood up, offering her the seat. She sat down as they welcomed her.  
Back with Max and the others, Hayley was trying to stay focused on the conversation at hand, but her mind was racing. She unconsciously brought her hand to her lips, softly tracing the memory of Lights’ kiss. That was the second time something like that had happened, and they hadn’t even talked about the original incident whatsoever. Their whole relationship was just a flirtatious mess, in all reality. Hayley’s eyes couldn’t help wandering and scanning the room. She didn’t realize what she was looking for until she saw it; she spotted Lights, sitting a little ways away surrounded by 5 or 6 guys. Hayley recognized them as the ones who had catcalled at them earlier. Lights was giggling and blushing, seemingly loving the attention.  
“Hayles? Hayley?” Everyone was looking at her. She must’ve spaced.  
“Hm?” She asked as they laughed.  
“There she is,” Josh chuckled, “What’s so interesting over there?” He asked, looking over to where Hayley had been staring.  
“Oh, nothing. I just spaced.”  
“Right,” He laughed. Max raised an eyebrow at her, though. The look he gave her said “I know something’s up. I don’t know what, but there’s something. And you’re gonna tell me later.” Neither of them said anything but Hayley gave him a small nod, kind of acknowledging their telepathic exchange. Everyone basically let her zone out again, picking up the conversation again, about something Hayley wasn’t really paying attention to, and wasn’t expected to. She watched Lights talking to the guys. She had a beer in her hand, laughing at something one of them had said. Hayley frowned. She was already so drunk; she wanted to hit whoever bought her the beer. It really bothered her to see Lights so out of it.  
“So, what is it with you two?” Max asked quietly, sitting down next to Hayley. She raised an eyebrow but he just shook his head. “C’mon.” She sighed, knowing what he meant.  
“..Okay.. Well, it’s kind of- Oh hell no,” She breathed, standing up angrily. Her eyes were on Lights and her newfound posse. Max and the others watched curiously as Hayley stormed over to where Lights sat. She looked like a little kid all of a sudden, scared and uncomfortable, and too drunk to help herself. One of the guys had his hand on her leg, and they’d all gotten gradually closer to her.  
“Oh come on baby girl..”  
“Get the fuck off of her,” Hayley said, pushing through the barrier they’d made, “She’s not your ‘baby girl’.” She grabbed Lights hand, pulling her away from them.  
“What the fuck man?” One of them said as Hayley dragged Lights back to everyone else, not listening to the rude guys. She pushed her down onto the couch a little more forcefully than she’d intended, but she didn’t really care.  
“You guys keep an eye on her, okay? She’s completely shitfaced.. I’m gonna get out of here.”  
“Sure thing,” Jeremy said, turning to Lights, asking her if she was alright.  
“I’m gonna go too,” Max said, getting up to follow Hayley. They got outside and started walking the few blocks over to the buses in silence. They went onto the YMAS bus, since it was parked closest, not wanting to walk the extra bit.  
“So..” Max said, wondering if they would continue the conversation that had just barely started before Hayley had to save Lights.  
“So.. Yeah.. It’s Lights. I’m gonna rant for a little while and I don’t know how any of this is gonna come out, but okay.. So, I don’t really even know. I mean, I just.. I’m really confused, Max. She’s fucking with my head just by existing, and I don’t know what to do about it. Like, ugh. I just love being with her, just around her, near her, whatever. Even if we’re not talking or doing anything, y’know? She’s so damn gorgeous, I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it’s not like anything ever before.. Okay, so I do actually have to tell you about something.. So.. back in August, on the first day of the South American tour.. There was this thing that happened.. I kind of might’ve used her as a rebound from Chad..”  
“Oh?”  
“Well, like, we didn’t.. You know.. Do it... But we could’ve, if things kept going. I just keep thinking about that though.. Like, I feel so bad. We never even talked about it, really. I told her to pretend it never happened, and I apologized and that was it. She looked so sad..”  
“Wow.”  
“Yeah.. I don’t know what to do, Max. Like, in all honesty… That’s not the first time something like that’s happened, with a girl I mean... But with her... I’m not used to this. I could listen to her talk for hours, in the sense that both I love what she says, and how she says it, and how she gets so excited about little things and simply her voice, too. And how she sings.. I’m still not over it and this is our second tour together. Do you see this? I’m a mess. Do you know what she did tonight?” Max shook his head no, “She kissed me. God.. She got so drunk.” She unconsciously touched her lips again, frowning.  
“Alright Hayley, you wanna here what I think?”  
“Please.”  
“Well, it seems like you want me to tell you that you’re into her, like a lot. You’re saying everything except for flat out admitting it,” Hayley nodded at this, “So, let me tell you this. I see the way you look at her like she put the stars in the sky, and she looks at you the exact same way.”  
“R-Really?”  
“Yes! Now look, do you wanna do something about it, or just sit around staring at her 24/7?”  
“I don’t do that..”  
“Yeah, you kind of do. But anyways, here, I have an idea..”

A little while later, everyone else turned back up to the buses, exhausted. Lights stumbled into the Paramore bus with Jeremy’s help, and climbed into the bunk she’d been staying in so often. As she walked through the bus, though, she didn’t see Hayley, who was still over on the You Me At Six bus. She frowned as she lied down, Jeremy closing the curtain for her. Of course she’s still with Max. Of course..

Lights shot up, hitting her head on the bunk above her. She was covered in cold sweat and shaking. Another nightmare. Great. She thought, wiping her eyes. I can’t go back to sleep like this.. At least not alone, she thought, stumbling out of the bunk clumsily. She shuffled over to Hayley’s bunk sleepily. She pushed the curtain open a little but then stopped, finding it empty. Right. She’s sleeping with Max. How could I forget? She felt fresh tears springing to her eyes but her frustration was mostly overwhelmed by exhaustion. She sighed, climbing into Hayley’s bunk anyway. It at least smelled like her. She tossed and turned miserably, missing Hayley and torturing herself thinking about her and Max for another hour before she could finally fall back asleep, feeling guilty and hugging Hayley’s pillow tight to her chest.


	9. You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more dancing and party and guy named Geoff :((((((

Lights woke up from a fitful sleep, opening her eyes tiredly. She immediately sat up and then hit her head again, just like the night before. She uttered a couple quiet profanities as she realized she wasn’t in her own bed. Slowly she began to recall last night’s events. Hopping out of Hayley’s bunk, she smoothed the sheets back and replaced Hayley’s pillow. Luckily and not, she seemed to be the first person awake, and nobody knew she’d slept in Hayley’s bunk. It was 5:29. She could never seem to sleep in, especially when she needed it. She rubbed her eyes, yawning and walking to the front of the bus. As soon as she stood up she’d felt the effects of all last night’s drinks. She rummaged through a cabinet for the aspirin she could’ve sworn she’d seen the day before. As she searched next for a water bottle or whatever she could find, she heard the door open behind her. She turned around to see Hayley frozen in the doorway. She stood there sheepishly, looking guilty, as if she’d been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. Lights wore a deep frown that resonated mostly in her eyes and the little crease between her brows. She straightened up a little bit as Hayley sighed, walking inside and closing the door behind her. They looked at each other for a couple of tense seconds. Lights glanced down at the ground, shifting her weight uneasily and crossing her arms. Hayley shook her head a little bit, walking into the back room. Lights followed her.  
“You have a good time with Max?” She asked suddenly, surprising both herself and Hayley. Hayley stopped, turning around slowly.  
“Uh.. Yeah.” She said. Lights nodded, still frowning. “What?”  
“Nothing.” Lights shrugged.  
“Okay… You know me and Max.. We didn’t.. You know.”  
“Oh really? You didn’t sleep with him?” Lights snapped, “Because dammit Hayley, you two seemed to be having a pretty great time last night.”  
“What? He’s one of my best friends. I didn’t sleep with him. What’s it to you if I did, anyway?” At this, Lights just shook her head, going quiet. Hayley glared at her, waiting for her to say something.  
“I needed you last night…” She finally muttered.  
“You.. What?”  
“I needed you, Hayley. I had another nightmare. A really, really bad one.” Her voice started to break. She wiped at her eyes that were betraying her, tearing up against her will. “Anyway. I woke up in the middle of the night and I went looking for you, but you weren’t there,” She nodded towards Hayley’s bunk, crossing her arms tighter around her ribcage. Hayley was speechless, and her silence made Lights suddenly self-conscious. “I- I mean, I know it’s not like your job to like.. Take care of me or whatever.. That’s dumb, I guess what I’m trying to say is that… I just really appreciate you and I like having you around and.. And when you can, you make a lot of little dumb, scary things better in a kind of big way.. I.. Oh God. I didn’t mean to.. I’m sorry,” She stuttered, trying to mend the situation. Hayley had sat down and put her face in her hands. She was blushing, thinking about what Max had told her last night. Suddenly she could see it in Lights’ words; that maybe possibly she liked her, too. She looked up at Lights, who looked mortified that she’d said all of that. She smiled a little bit, shaking her head.  
“Come here,” She said quietly, patting the spot next to her on the couch. Lights didn’t protest, stepping closer and sitting down cautiously. Hayley pulled her right into a tight hug, though. Lights closed her eyes, resting her head on her shoulder. Hayley smiled as she realized she could hear her heartbeat. She ran her hand through Lights’ hair reassuringly and she felt her relax a little bit as she held her. She felt terrible for not being there for her.  
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there last night,” She whispered into Lights’ shoulder. “And it’s okay, really. If I can, I always want to be able to make things better.”  
“You always do.” They stayed like that for a couple minutes before Hayley pulled away.  
“If I can ask… Last night, what was bothering you so much? I mean, you were drinking away something.. Right?” Hayley asked. Lights sighed.  
“If I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh?”  
“I promise.”  
“Okay.. Well, it’s dumb. Basically I was jealous..”  
“Jealous?”  
“..Yeah.”  
“Of?”  
“Max.” Lights sighed as Hayley looked at her confused. “Well, you guys were kind of all over each other. He kept, like, whispering in your ear and shit and you were just laughing at everything he said and.. I mean, I wanted at least a little Hayley. He got all of you.” She finished, looking at Hayley embarrassedly. Hayley had a huge grin on her face, visible even though she covered her mouth with her hand.  
“Jerk,” Lights hit her arm, “You promised.”  
“I’m not laughing,” Hayley smiled. “But we were dancing, you got some Hayley!”  
“Yeah and I made a fool of myself.” She blushed, looking away. Hayley frowned.  
“Well.. Did you wanna dance more?”  
“I.. yeah.. You dance really, really well.”  
“Well come on, here’s your chance,” Hayley smiled, standing up.  
“What?” Lights asked, confused.  
“Come on, get up!” Hayley laughed, pulling her up. She turned around, scrolling through her phone to find music. “Almost dead,” She muttered, before putting it on shuffle and tossing it onto the couch. She turned back to Lights, but then frowned as she realized a slow song had come on: You and Me by Lifehouse. She started to go to change it but Lights stopped her, taking her hand.  
“No, it’s okay. This works too,” She said as Hayley shrugged nervously. They assumed the every-junior-high-school-slow-dance position, with Hayley’s draping her arms around Lights’ shoulders and Lights holding her waist. They swayed back and forth, captivated by each other’s gaze. Lights broke the stare first, glancing away shyly.  
“So, I actually never learned how to properly slow dance,” Hayley admitted as Lights laughed.  
“Really? Then let me teach you,”  
“Alright,” She grinned. Light took her hands, showing her where to put them. Hayley stepped clumsily all over Lights feet, apologizing excessively.  
“Shh, you’ve gotta let me lead,” Lights laughed, kissing her forehead lightly. Hayley could feel her tense up as soon as she realized what she’d done, so she rested her head on her shoulder, letting her know it was okay. She was close enough to hear her heartbeat, and she never wanted to move. She closed her eyes, completely happy. The song ended all too soon, and they parted, laughing as the next song was some screaming metalcore band.  
“Didn’t know you liked that kinda stuff,” Lights asked as Hayley laughed.  
“Nah, that one’s actually Erica’s, she made me buy it a while ago,” She explained. They headed out to the front of the bus once more, Hayley checking the time on her phone.  
“Hmm, slow dancing before 6:30 A.M., wow. It’s been a busy day, I gotta say I’m kinda pooped. Might have to go back to bed.”  
“Oh no you don’t,” Lights said, catching Hayley’s hand and swinging her around to sit at the table. “I’m making food, so you better not go anywhere.”  
“Oh, in that case, I guess I could stick around for a while,” Hayley shrugged, smiling at Lights.  
“What’s this I hear about food?” Jeremy asked, climbing out of his bunk and yawning.  
“Makin’ cereal, duh.” Lights laughed, “Absolutely nothing special.”  
“Aw, right,” He sighed, sitting down. They ate their Cap’n Crunch, the only cereal they ever seemed to have consistently on the bus.  
“You know, You Me At Six has a lot better food over there,” Hayley said as she threw away her paper bowl.  
“Mm, hey, didn’t you get the new GTA yesterday?” Lights asked, looking to Jeremy.  
“…Yeah, why?” He said cautiously as Hayley and Lights looked at each other. They immediately jumped to start up the Xbox as Jeremy protested.  
“Nononono! I’ve barely even played yet!” He said as Hayley sighed.  
“Fine, then you can go first,” She handed him the controller.  
“Thank you.” He huffed. They all took turns playing for the rest of the day, with some of the YMAS guys coming over, too. Eventually it was time for soundcheck, and they all filed out of the bus begrudgingly. Soundcheck went well, there were no issues and soon enough the doors had opened and the pit had filled up. Before long, You Me At Six had walked offstage and Paramore was up next. The lights dimmed again and the familiar hush settled instantaneously over the crowd. Hayley bounded out onstage and the show began. After two songs they paused, Hayley taking a moment to say a few words to the crowd.  
“Thank you all for coming out tonight! How’re you feeling?”  
The crowd roared in response.  
“Right, good! Let’s give a hand for You Me At Six! Some of the best dudes and some of our closest friends, we wouldn’t have wanted to tour with anyone else. And can we give it up for Lights? My favorite girl on the tour- the only other girl on the tour,” She grinned as the crowd laughed and cheered. Her eyes searched the back for her as she found her, surrounded by a few fans. She was wearing a huge smile, even though Hayley said it every night. They played through the entirety of the set and after a little bit everyone was back on the buses, changing to go out once again because after all, it was Halloween.  
\---  
“Can’t we just stay in and watch scary movies?” Hayley sighed, as Max gave her a knowing look.  
“Don’t talk,” Lights told her, fixing the eyeliner she’d smudged.  
“Sorry,” Hayley whispered, careful not to move her face at all.  
“Okay, all done,” Lights said, blowing lightly on Hayley’s closed eyes to dry the makeup. Hayley shivered.  
“Can I open?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Awwwesome,” Max laughed, “Two sexy space invaders.” Hayley nodded, smiling at their reflections in the full-length mirror.  
“I mean, I guess we sorta do have to go out if we look this great,” She sighed as Lights and Max agreed. “But still, I know it's like his biggest party of the year, and he specifically asked us to come but would one person really make a difference? I'm just really not feeling so great about it,” Hayley sighed, talking to Max more than anyone else.  
“Well shit, I'm getting the feeling you don't want to follow through with what we talked about,” Max retorted as Lights and Jeremy exchanged a look that read, “Do you know what they're talking about? Yeah okay me neither.”  
“No! I do! I’m excited about it, but I- I mean... I don't know. It's not that, but... it's Halloween, ya know?”  
“Exactly! It’s Halloween and if you think we're going to let you waste the rest of the night, too bad. It’s only 12:30. The night is still young!”  
Hayley sighed, nodding.  
“I guess so,” She gave in, as Josh emerged from the bathroom.  
“Alright beauty queen, take long enough?” Jeremy laughed as everyone stood up to get going. Lights pulled Hayley up, pausing for a moment.  
“You okay? If you want to stay behind, I’ll stay with you..”  
“I'll be fine,” She said, forcing a wry smile. Lights didn't say anything, unconvinced. She squeezed her hand for a second before leading her off the bus with everyone else. They met up with Dan, Matt, Chris and Taylor to discuss the plan of action.  
“Alright, we'll meet you there. What's the address?” Josh asked, as Taylor relayed it back to him. The group split into three, to hail separate taxis since they really couldn't fit into 2. Josh, Matt, and Dan went in one, Taylor, Jeremy, and Max went in another. That left Lights and Hayley on their own, as they so often were. As the taxi stopped for them, Lights went to open the door, surprising Hayley and opening it for her. She smiled as she scooted in and Lights followed.  
“Where to, ladies?” The cabby asked. Hayley told him the address and slouched a little in her seat. Lights frowned, finding her hand to hold again.  
“What is it about tonight?” She asked as Hayley shrugged. “No, come on... What's bothering you?”  
“Well last night was bad enough... I mean, I’m not really one for partying and clubbing,. And I guess I just don't have the fondest memories of being out and about on Halloween...” She sighed as Lights frowned. Hayley closed her eyes. She felt herself starting to lose control of her breathing.  
“Are you okay?”  
She was becoming shaky and panicked.  
“Hayley? Hayley!”  
She could see it all like she was there again. He'd thought it would be funny to pull out that damned mask.  
“Is she okay?”   
She couldn't breathe. His hands were locked around her throat- She opened her eyes, lunging forward and gasping for air.  
“Hayley, talk to me.” Lights touched her arm softly and Hayley turned to her immediately, collapsing into a hug.  
“Is she okay?” The cabby repeated as Lights nodded.  
“I.. I think we're okay,” She said, holding Hayley tight, “Are we okay?” She asked, looking down to the redhead, basically in her lap. Hayley nodded slightly into Lights' shoulder. She was breathing heavily still and shaking violently. Lights rubbed her back, trying to calm her down.  
“It's okay,” She whispered, running her hand through Hayley's hair, “It's okay.” Hayley closed her eyes, trying to make herself believe Lights' words. She realized how tightly she was holding onto her and relaxed a little bit.  
“I'm sorry,” She breathed, sitting up, “I'm really s-”  
“Don't.” Lights interrupted, “Are you okay? Do you want to go back?” She looked at her seriously and Hayley felt bad for making her worry.  
“No. It's okay. We'll go,” She said, determined to face the night, no matter how much she wanted to go back to the bus.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Positive.”  
“You're a brave girl, Hayley Williams,” Lights said, smiling a little and shaking her head.  
“Aww, means a lot coming from you, the level 90 Death Knight.” Hayley joked, determined now to lighten the mood and make sure Lights wouldn’t worry about her.  
“Hell yeah. You know, loads of people say Draeneis shouldn't even be Death Knights.”  
“Oh? And why is that?” Hayley smiled, happy to listen to Lights talk animatedly about World of Warcraft. They reached their destination after about ten more minutes of vivid explanation of the complex history of the planet Azeroth, and even as they got out of the cab, Lights hadn't lost momentum.  
“And so, that was when the Horde-”  
“Hey,” Hayley laughed, interrupting, “Sorry, but does my eyeliner look okay?”  
“You look gorgeous, don't you worry.” Lights smiled. They found the guys nearby, apparently all waiting for them.  
“About time,” Jeremy said as they arrived.  
“Yeah, well this one doesn't know how to hail a cab,” Lights pointed to Hayley.  
“Shut up! I totally can.”  
“Yeeeah, maybe. If they stopped for you it'd only be because of your crazy hair and your pretty face,” Lights said as Hayley blushed, not meeting anyone’s eyes.  
“Alright, alright, shall we go inside?” Josh suggested as they all looked up at the huge house they stood in front of. Actually, it was less of a house and more of a mansion. In almost every window were different colored pulsing lights and silhouettes. Someone was puking in the lawn a little further away while his friends laughed. Hayley felt sick to her stomach, even more so than the guy throwing up. She looked to Lights on her left, realizing she'd stepped closer to her without realizing it. Lights caught Hayley's eyes before she could look away.  
“You're going ghost again, Hayley..”  
“Huh?”  
“Look at me.. Jeez, you're white as a sheet.”  
“I'm fine,” Hayley insisted. She didn't want anyone worried about her, especially not Lights, especially not tonight. Determined to prove how okay she was, she took Lights’ hand and started towards the door.  
“Come on!” The gang headed inside and was promptly torn apart by a crowd of people. Hayley swiveled around, finding only Taylor and Lights left. She held out her hand to Lights who let her lead her away from Taylor. He stuck out his tongue out at Hayley but his attention was quickly drawn away by something else. He took off around the corner as Lights and Hayley looked at each other, shrugging. Hayley felt a little better, dancing with Lights. She wanted to forget about everything that was worrying her. After a while she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, finding a text from Max. It read:  
“How's it going??” Hayley laughed as she read it.  
“Good.” She replied. As she went to put it back into her pocket, a girl stumbled into her elbow, spilling her drink all over herself. She turned around to glare at Hayley.  
“What the fuck?”  
“Uh, sorry?” Hayley offered.  
“You better fucking watch where you're going,” The girl snapped, getting closer to Hayley. She was the same height as her, but her skin was orange and her hair bleached blonde.  
“Hey, step off. She said she was sorry,” Lights said as the girl, and now her friend, laughed at her accent. You could usually barely tell, except for in words like 'sorry'.  
“What, is this your girlfriend?” They laughed some more. Lights stepped closer.  
“So what if I am?” She countered. Hayley was holding onto her arm hoping to escape without conflict. She didn't realize what Lights had said at first, looking up at her in shock. Lights shared her stare for a moment, giving a little shrug before looking back to the girls who were looking at them with disgust.  
“That's twisted. You're sick,” One said, suddenly reaching her arm back as if to hit Hayley. Lights saw and yanked Hayley backwards a few steps. The girl's fist was caught mid-swing, though, by a guy who stepped in.  
“Whoa, whoa, come on ladies, let’s keep it plur,” He said, repeating the overused raver mantra. The girl yanked her wrist away from the guy.  
“Fuck off, Geoff,” She spat. He backed away submissively, putting his hands up in surrender. Hayley pulled on Lights arm, stepping backwards slowly.  
“Come on, let's run.” She whispered to her. They both turned, trying to escape the scene. The second girl saw them though, while the other was preoccupied with the guy named Geoff.  
“Fuck, they're following us,” Lights said as they weaved through the crowd, hoping to lose the antagonizers. They ran faster, apologizing constantly to the people they bumped into. They came to an open area, rare in the crowded house. They looked around, not seeing their pursuers at first, but then that short blonde head was visible again, looking around for them.  
“Shit, before she sees us,” Hayley muttered, pulling Lights into a small dark closet and closing the door quickly.  
“Nice,” Lights said, pushing some of the coats aside so they had more room.  
“Thanks,” Hayley laughed shakily.  
“Am I on your leg?”  
“A little.”  
“Is that better?”  
“No but it's okay,”  
“Uhh, okay, here,” Lights said, shifting her weight and moving around in the tiny space. Suddenly one of the hanging coats fell on them, knocking Lights onto Hayley.  
“Oops,” She breathed, “Where are you?”  
“Right here,” she was surprised to feel Hayley's breath on her neck.  
“Right, sorry. God this is cramped,” She sat up, pushing some more stuff around so she could sit.  
“Here,” Hayley said, suddenly illuminating the closet with her phone. Lights smiled, looking around.  
“Hah. Kind of cozy in here, with all these fluffy coats.” She said as Hayley laughed, putting her phone down and turning up the brightness some more.  
“Yeah, for sure.” They sat in silence for a minute or so.  
“Hey, I'm really sorry about last night…” Lights said quietly, looking at her hands.  
“What do you mean? I'm the one sorry, I wasn't on the bus when you needed me.”  
“No, I mean before that. When I.. Kissed you. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry..” Hayley took her hand and shook her head no.  
“Don't worry about it. I overreacted. Really..” She hesitated, “Why.. Why did you let them think we were dating?”  
“They were assholes, Hayley. I kind of just wanted to piss them off more. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable or anything.”  
“No, it's fine. Actually, I think that's pretty cool.. I think you're pretty cool.” Hayley said, looking up at Lights shyly. She realized how close they were getting to each other, but made no move to lean back. Instead, she shifted her weight a little so that she could get even closer.  
“Hayley.. I.. I like you.. A lot..” Lights said quietly. Their faces were inches apart. Her eyes flicked shyly between Hayley's eyes and her lips. She couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. Hayley suddenly felt self-conscious under her gaze.  
“I like you too..” She whispered. She hesitated for a second, leaning forward but then second guessing herself. Lights met her halfway, though, kissing her softly, shyly at first, but more confidently when Hayley kissed her back. Hayley's phone started vibrating, surprising them both. They parted as Hayley sighed, answering it.  
“Hello? … No, I mean yeah, but it's okay. What's up? … Yeah, it's going well. … Yeah, you did. … Okay. I'll see you later. Bye.”  
“Who was it?” Lights asked.  
“Max,” Hayley explained, “We should probably get out of here.. But I'm going to fix everything. Just wait, I promise,” She said, kissing Lights shyly. Before Lights could respond, she stood up, opening the door slowly to check for their pursuers. They stepped out of the closet just in time to see a guy collapse a few feet away.  
“Shit,” Hayley gasped, but nobody else seemed to immediately notice. “Move!” She yelled, pushing a couple people away before they stepped on him.  
“Watch it- Oh, shit,” She heard one say, but she wasn’t really listening. As she kneeled down, she saw his fingers were twitching and his eyes had rolled back in his head. She recognized him as the guy from earlier who had protected them, Geoff. She whipped around to see if there was anyone who could help her. Lights was already kneeling down beside her.  
“What can I do? 911?” She asked as Hayley nodded.  
“Yeah, call 911. He’s overdosed,” She said calmly, seeing the fresh needle marks all up his forearm. A circle started to clear around them. Hayley worked quickly, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt and turning him on his side, putting him into the recovery position as the convulsions stopped.  
“Geoff!” A girl yelled, breaking through the circle and stumbling forward. It was the girl from earlier, the one who had tried to attack Hayley.  
“Don’t touch him,” Hayley warned, looking up and recognizing her.  
“You..” She hissed, looking ready to attack again. While still on the phone, Lights moved a little, ready to defend Hayley if necessary. Hayley barely paid the girl any attention though. She was more focused on Geoff, whose breathing was becoming more and more shallow.  
“Lights, be careful, she’s so high right now…” She said aside, under her breath. The girl’s pupils were dilated to the point where her irises were barely visible. Hayley looked around anxiously, wanting to get out of the scene as quickly as possible, but she was determined to stay put until paramedics arrived.  
“Jesus Hayley, what happened?” Max asked, suddenly appearing on her other side.  
“He seriously overdosed on heroin,” She explained, “Had a tonic clonic seizure. He’s unconscious now, his breathing’s shallow though, and his pulse is weak. Look, blue lips and fingernails. It’s not good. God they’d better get here soon.” She exhaled, as Max rubbed her shoulder reassuringly.  
“Who’s she?” He asked, looking at the distraught girl who had luckily seemed to forget about Hayley and Lights for the time being.  
“Girlfriend or something,” Hayley said shortly.  
“Right..”  
“You’ve done really well Hayley. You’ve probably saved his life. I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Lights said. Suddenly the circle was broken up by paramedics arriving. As soon as she spotted them, the girl ran away. Hayley sighed, shaking her head and standing to talk to the paramedics. They asked her a few questions before lifting Geoff away on a stretcher. A few people congratulated and thanked her for handling the situation while Lights just looked at her, amazed.  
“That was.. Impressive.”  
“I.. Can we just get out of here for a while?” Hayley asked, looking upset.  
“Where?” Lights asked, ready to leave.  
“Just.. Anywhere.. Outside.. Not here..” She said shakily as Lights nodded, taking her hand. She paused, looking to Max.  
“Are you coming?”  
“Uh, you guys go ahead. I can tell everyone you’re leaving.”  
“Alright., We’ll see you later then,” Lights said, turning back to Hayley who was looking at the floor. “Let’s go,” She said, wrapping her arm around her. They headed outside, sitting down in the grass.  
“Do you want to go?” Lights asked as Hayley shook her head no, bringing her knees to her chest.  
“No, it’s okay. We can stay here for a little bit.”  
“If I can ask, how did you know all that about that guy? Like, what happened to him and what he was on and what to do.. That was seriously impressive.”  
“I.. I just did. If it’s okay I’d really rather not talk about it,” She said quietly.  
“Yeah, yeah of course..” Lights said. They stayed quiet, both looking up at the sky. Lights looked over at Hayley, and seeing her unhappy face she hesitantly took Hayley’s hand and kissed it softly. Hayley smiled weakly. “What are you thinking right now?” Lights asked tentatively. Hayley just shook her head, looking at the ground.  
“I’m thinking tonight was supposed to be perfect, but it’s gotten so shitty.” Lights scooted closer to her, wrapping her arms around her and resting her head on her shoulder.  
“Hey, I don’t think so.. How about we head back to the bus and watch some movies and try to salvage the night.. Would that be alright?”  
“That would be very alright,” Hayley said, smiling. They stood up and started walking toward the street. Lights called a cab and Hayley texted Max that they were heading back. They rode in silence, Hayley leaning on Lights’ shoulder tiredly. They got back to the bus, falling down on the couch immediately.  
“So. What do you wanna watch?” Lights asked, turning on the TV. Hayley just grumbled, pulling a blanket over her head. Lights laughed, pulling it back off her.  
“Hm?”  
“What do you want to watch?”  
“Oh, I dunno, anything’s fine,” She yawned as Lights flicked through the channels. “Oh, wait, go back one.. I think it was … Yeah! Awesome! Pet Semetary is my favorite,” Hayley grinned. She settled into the couch, lying on Lights a little. She looked up at her to make sure it was okay as Lights smiled. An hour passed and the two were nearly asleep, nearly spooning when the guys walked in. They both groaned as the Jeremy turned the lights on.  
“Ah, here she is, the life saver,” He said as Hayley smiled wearily.  
“It’s really nothing,” She yawned, dismissing everyone, but they disagreed.  
“No dude that’s actually crazy, don’t even start,” Josh laughed as Hayley shook her head.  
“Mm, thanks but can we actually please drop it?” She asked. Everyone complied, changing the subject quickly without further question.  
“Well I think we’re all gonna hit the hay,” Jeremy said, heading to his bunk.  
“Alright,” Hayley said, settling back into the couch, “See you in the morning.” She turned around a little to look at Lights. She smiled back at Hayley tiredly, raising her hand to brush a little bit of hair away from her face.  
“Hey you,” She whispered.  
“Hi,” Hayley grinned, “Guess what?”  
“Hm?”  
“You’re beautiful.” Hayley said as Lights blushed. Hayley could tell, even in the near dark. She wanted nothing other than to kiss her.  
“This, here, is perfect. I never want to move, Hayley.”  
“I know,” Hayley said, kissing her cheek. She turned back around, Lights kissing her shoulder as she did. She shivered and moved closer to Lights, who held onto her tighter. Even though her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, within minutes they were both fast asleep.


	10. If you were a president...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Ops, Adore, stay the nigh, Jason, adventure, yes!!!!!!!, phone call

Chapter 10

Lights woke up, disoriented at first. When she realized it was Hayley sleeping on her chest though, she smiled, moving her and sitting up carefully. She felt around her pockets for her phone to check the time.  
“It’s 3:30,” Jeremy said, startling her. She hadn’t realized he was sitting right there at the table. “Sleep well?” He smirked as Lights nodded, standing up.  
“Yeah,” She yawned. Hayley stirred beside her, grumbling something unintelligible.  
“Hey, come back and be my pillow,” She muttered, reaching up blindly and trying to pull her back down.  
“Oh God,” She laughed as Hayley squeezed her.  
“You’re very comfortable,” Hayley mumbled.  
“Heyyyy, you two,” Max said, coming from the bunks, “We all have a good night?”  
“Pretty good,” Hayley said.  
“Very good,” Lights corrected her. Hayley finally let them sit up.  
“Good, good. Hayley, can I talk to you?” He said as she grinned, nodding. They headed to the back room before anyone could protest or question them.  
“So?” Max said immediately once Hayley had closed the door behind her.  
“So?” Hayley repeated, baiting him. He sighed exasperatedly.  
“So how was last night?! You guys fell asleep together? Tell me everything!” He said excitedly as Hayley laughed at his enthusiasm.  
“Well.. It was good. We were dancing, right? And then this girl bumped into me and spilled her drink all over herself…” She told Max the events of the night.  
“So she said she liked you?”  
“Yup,” Hayley said proudly.  
“Damn. Are you ready for tonight?”  
“I think so. It’s kind of cheesy though don’t you think?”  
“Yeah but I think it’ll work.. I mean, unless you have some other idea?”  
“I do… But I’ll tell you later if it works out,” Hayley grinned as Max nodded. They headed back out to the front of the bus where Lights was hanging upside down off the couch, looking at her phone. Hayley smirked, poking her stomach where her shirt was sliding up.  
“Hey!” She laughed, rolling onto the floor. Hayley stuck her tongue out at her.  
“I’m gonna take a shower then head out,” She announced, “Got some things to do, places to be.”  
“Can I come?” Lights asked, eyeing her curiously.  
“Uh, nope, sorry. I’ve got scret errands to run,” Hayley said, exchanging a quick look with Max. Lights frowned a little.  
“Well okay,” She shrugged, turning back to her phone. Hayley went to the tiny bathroom to clean up and get ready to go out. After getting dressed she said a quick ‘bye’ to everyone and hopped off the bus. She followed the directions on her phone she’d looked up earlier.  
“I hope this works…” She muttered to herself, squinting against the sun.  
\--  
An hour and a half later, Hayley was kicking her shoes off on the bus again. It seemed empty.  
“Guys?” She called, heading toward the back. She stopped by the bunks, pushing a few curtains aside. She found Lights in her bunk, her back turned to her. She nudged her shoulder gently and Lights turned over, opening her eyes sleepily.  
“Hm?”  
“Where’d everyone go?”  
“Max’s bus,” Lights yawned as Hayley nodded.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up..”  
“No it’s okay. I probably should get up anyway,” She said, swinging her legs out of the bunk and standing up. “Finish your secret errands?”  
“Oh, yeah, I did.” Hayley stuttered as Lights raised an eyebrow.  
“Well that’s good.. Do you wanna do something?  
“Like what?”  
“Like.. Black Ops?” Lights suggested as Hayley laughed.  
“Sure.” She started to set up the game while Lights dragged out a blanket since she was cold. They started the game, an online match with Lights sniping and Hayley out on the field.  
“Was that you? Did you just kill me?” Hayley exclaimed, respawning.  
“Oh my god, did I? I didn’t think friendly fire was on!”  
“Shut up, you knew,” Hayley countered, “It’s a free-for-all!”  
“Okay, so what if I did? What’re you gonna do about it?” Lights asked, as Hayley gasped.  
“You just did it again!” She exclaimed, “That’s it, you’re gonna get it. I’m out to seek my revenge,” Hayley said, searching for Lights. Suddenly she died again, and she put her controller down, turning to Lights with a pout. Lights did the same, putting her controller down and smirking at Hayley.  
“I forgot to warn you, I’m also pretty good with a knife,” She grinned proudly as Hayley laughed.  
“Well I guess I’ll just have to seek my revenge some other way..” She trailed off as Lights raised an eyebrow. Hayley looked away shyly for a moment, before tackling Lights, catching her off guard. They rolled onto the floor, laughing and wrestling. Hayley finally pinned Lights and they were both breathing heavily.  
“That was harder than I thought it would be,” Hayley panted, looking down at Lights.  
“What can I say? I put up a fight.” Lights replied breathlessly. Hayley rested her forehead on Lights’ as they breathed each other in. “Hayley,” Lights said in a near whisper.  
“Yes?”  
“I want to kiss you.”  
Hayley smirked. “Go ahead.” Lights strained against Hayley’s hold on her, trying to lean up to kiss her. Hayley teased her, leaning back so she couldn’t reach. Lights pouted, letting her head drop back to the hard floor.  
“Oww,” She grimaced as Hayley laughed at her.  
“Hmm, do I need to kiss you better?”  
“It might be the only way,” Lights said, looking up at Hayley eagerly. She complied, leaning down closer to Lights once more. She kissed her forehead first, making Lights frustrated.  
“Oh come on, fuck you,” She laughed quietly as Hayley smirked.  
“Well wouldn’t you love to?” She planted a few kisses on her collarbone, moving up her neck, making Lights shiver. She kissed her cheek, then her nose, then her other cheek. She hovered above her, less than an inch of space between their faces. Lights’ heart was racing again as she looked up at Hayley above her. For the first time, she noticed a nearly undetectable scar above her eyebrow and for a brief moment wondered how she got it. She leaned up a just little bit, and Hayley backed right up as she did. She frowned as Hayley giggled a little. She leaned back down, though, finally kissing her lips. Hayley let go of Lights’ hands, instead softly caressing her cheek, the other hand at her waist. Lights’ fingers danced over the hem at the bottom of Hayley’s shirt, holding onto her hips. All of a sudden Hayley pulled away abruptly, scrambling away, sitting back up on the couch and picking up the playstation controller once again. Lights looked at her utterly confused, hoping to God that it wasn’t the same sort of weird incident as last time.  
“They’re coming,” Hayley said shortly, trying to catch her breath as the doorknob jiggled and sure enough, the boys marched inside. Lights looked incredulously at Hayley, who gave her a cheeky grin and an I told you so look. Lights smiled, shaking her head and looking away.  
“Why’s your hair all messed up?” Jeremy asked Hayley, who blushed despite her seemingly calm composure.  
“Oh, uh, not sure,” She shrugged, getting up to look in the mirror.  
“And why are you on the floor?” Taylor laughed, holding out a hand to help Lights up.  
“Long story..” She said as Hayley laughed from the bathroom. Jeremy shrugged as Max changed the subject.  
“We go on in 20 minutes, so we’re gonna go ahead and get in there,” He said, moving to the door with Josh. Outside, Josh stopped.  
“What’s with those two? Are they..?” He trailed off as Max sighed.  
“Yeah. Hayley’s going to ask her out tonight, but she doesn’t want anybody to know about them.. So you don’t know anything, okay?” He explained as Josh grinned.  
“Hey, you know me. I like secrets, ‘cause they keep me in line.” He said as Max hit him.  
“Seriously though, it’s a really big deal. Do you think anyone else has noticed?”  
“No, I doubt it. It really just seems like girl stuff, ya know? Nobody pays them too much attention when they’re close. Like, I was actually more joking when I asked. But I’m happy for ‘em. I won’t tell a soul,” He said as they headed inside. Back on the bus, Paramore and Lights were all getting ready to go on. They headed out a little after Max and Josh had left, meeting them inside. You Me At Six played, then Lights, then it was just about time for Paramore.  
“We’re playing it!” Hayley insisted as Taylor shook his head.  
“Why, Hayley? It’s old and no one knows it and it’s so last minute!”  
“Because it’s really important to me, okay? Please, guys..” She sighed as Jeremy shrugged.  
“I’m fine with it,” He said as Taylor groaned.  
“Whatever. Fine. We’ll play it.” He huffed. Hayley looked away, hating the arguing. Taylor stalked away and Jeremy went back to his phone. Lights suddenly appeared at Hayley’s side.  
“Is everything alright?” She asked as Hayley took a deep breath.  
“Yeah. It’s fine,” She smiled. Lights gave her hand a quick squeeze as Paramore was called to stage.  
“Good luck,” She said, letting her go. Hayley couldn’t help but smile as the band headed out, jumping right into their first two songs: Interlude: Moving On, and For a Pessimist. They stopped as Hayley addressed the crowd, getting them even more riled up.  
“Alright, I wanna hear you guys give it up for Lights. …. No, louder. … I want you to scream as loud as you did for us! ….. That’s better. Now I just wanted to say that she’s really amazing, and I’m so glad to have her here on this tour with us, it’s really just been like a dream. Uh, this next song we added into our set just for tonight. It’s pretty old, but if you know it, sing along with all your heart.. Alright, here we go..” She looked around nervously as the guys began to play.  
“I don't mean to run,  
But every time you come around I feel,  
More alive, than ever  
And I guess it's too much,  
Maybe we're too young,  
And I don't even know what's real,  
But I know I've never wanted anything so bad,  
I've never wanted anyone so bad,” She sang, starting to lose herself in the song.  
“If I let you love me,  
Be the one adored,  
Would you go all the way?  
Be the one I'm looking for?” As they played, Hayley kept her eyes closed. They finished the song and the lights dimmed as she went to take a drink of water.  
“Okay.. I hope you guys liked that sort of… throwback,” She laughed, regaining confidence. They launched into the intro to Decode, Hayley quickly getting back into the swing of things. They flew through the rest of the set, and soon enough Zedd was joining them for the final song of the night. He sat down at a piano as Hayley talked to the crowd.  
“Hey, give it for Zedd! He’s such a cool guy he drove up here two hours from his own tour to meet up with us and be here for tonight. So I’m sure you all know what we’re gonna play next, and I probably should’ve said this before Miz Biz, and before this guy came out,” She pointed to Zedd, laughing, “‘Cause he’s not Paramore. But whatever. I’m a bit frazzled tonight, San Francisco, you’re making me crazy! Nevertheless, just in case you don’t know.. Just in case, San Francisco… We. Are. Paramooooore! … And this is Stay The Night… Not by Paramore… By him, Zedd.” She pointed again as everyone laughed. Her eyes searched the crowd for Lights, finding her up front to the side. She crossed the stage to get closer to her, looking right at her as she starting singing.

“I know that we are upside down.  
So hold your tongue and hear me out.  
I know that we were made to break,  
So what? I don't mind.  
You kill the lights, I'll draw the blinds.  
Don't dull the sparkle in your eyes.  
I know that we were made to break,  
So what? I don't mind.” While she was looking around the crowd her gaze always gravitated back to Lights. She held her stare as she sang the chorus.  
“Are you gonna stay the night?  
Are you gonna stay the night?  
Oh oh oh, are you gonna stay the night?” She laughed into the last line as Lights sang along, smiling up at Hayley. Throughout the remainder of the song, Hayley ended up looking at Lights at least two thirds of the time. As she walked offstage she searched for Max.  
“There you are! Keep everyone on your bus for a while, okay?” She said as he nodded, familiar with the plan. Hayley ran away, desperate to get to the bus as quickly as possible. A couple security guys escorted her outside as she apologized to fans that were waiting. Tonight she just didn’t have time. On the bus, she texted Lights.  
“Come back to the bus in 15 mins?” She went to change while she waited anxiously for a reply. As she picked out a shirt her phone buzzed on the couch and she ran to see it.  
“For sure,” Lights had replied. Hayley smiled, going to the bathroom and washing her face off. She redid her makeup and went to sit in the back room, picking up an acoustic guitar. She fiddled with it anxiously as she waited. After what seemed like ages, she heard the front door open.  
“Hayley?” Lights asked.  
“In the back,” She called back. Lights pushed open the door and smiled as she saw Hayley. Hayley strummed the guitar once, singing quietly.  
“Are you gonna stay the night?” She grinned, putting the guitar down and patting the spot next to her on the couch. Lights sat down as Hayley fidgeted with a piece of thread she was pulling out of her shirt. “You were awesome tonight,” She told Lights, “I mean, like every other night,” She looked up at Lights.  
“You were amazing too,” Lights laughed, turning and pulling her legs up so she was sitting cross-legged. “Was that what you and Taylor were arguing about? Playing Adore?”  
“Yeah. I hope he’s not still pissed. But either way it was worth it. I wasn’t sure if you knew it or not, it’s so old…” She trailed off nervously, changing the subject, “I think most of the fans are gone,” She said, getting up and looking out the window, “Come on, I'm taking you out,” She said, pulling Lights up off the couch.  
“What? Where?” She asked as Hayley smiled mischievously.  
“Come on.” They both grabbed hoodies, Hayley deliberately choosing her black H20 one, not wanting to be recognized and stopped too much while they were out. She took Lights ' hand as they left the bus. A couple fans still hung around, immediately trying to get pictures and signatures. Hayley and Lights signed whatever they wanted but politely refused pictures. They parted ways, Hayley and Lights holding hands once more.  
“It's a gorgeous night,” Hayley said. Lights couldn't help but notice she seemed off, maybe lacking her usual confidence. Instead, she seemed nervous, and Lights found it adorable.  
“Not as gorgeous as youuu,” She grinned as Hayley punched her arm. “Alright, that was bad.”  
“Yeah.” Hayley agreed, pulling her closer and kissing her cheek. There was the Hayley she knew. They walked in silence for a few minutes before Lights' curiosity got the best of her.  
“Pleaaase tell me where we're going?”  
“No! It's a surprise! Besides, we're almost there anyway,” Hayley told her, squeezing her hand. Hayley turned right, leading them down a narrow alley. As they went further it was nearly pitch black darkness, except for a few shafts of lights from the moon waning overhead.  
“Hayley?” Lights asked quietly. She was walking close to her, quite frankly scared shitless.  
“Don't worry,” Hayley told her, rubbing her arm reassuringly. “Been down enough alleyways in my time…” She muttered under her breath. They were walking slower now, more cautiously. Hayley took out her phone, using it as a flashlight. Lights gasped as a couple rats scurried away.  
“Shit Hayley! Where the hell are we going?! I feel like you're going to sacrifice me to some Satan worshipping cult!”  
“No Satan. Just adventure. You'll see,” Hayley smiled, squeezing her hand.  
“Well I do like adventure,” Lights laughed nervously.  
“Are you afraid of heights?” Hayley asked, suddenly stopping in front of a door.  
“...No, no I'm not...”  
“Good.” Hayley knocked a pattern on the door. A second passes and two knocks were heard in response. The door creaked open after a series of locks were opened.  
“Hey!” The man said, pulling Hayley into a hug.  
“Good to see you dude!” She laughed, stepping inside. She pulled Lights along with her.  
“Jason, this is Lights. Lights, Jason.”  
“Nice to meet you,” she smiled, shaking his hand.  
“Well you know the way,” Jason laughed, “But you know how the rest of security is. So I might as well make sure the coast is clear. Come on,” he started down a dimly lit hallway.  
“We're gonna stay ten paces behind him. Don't speak,” Hayley said quietly to Lights. She gave her a concerned look but Hayley only smiled in response, giving her a quick kiss. “Let's go.” They followed Jason down six different halls, Lights becoming more and more lost with each turn. They only had to hide from someone once, and soon enough they found themselves at a stairwell.  
“And this is where my journey ends,” Jason said dramatically, “Be careful, and good luck,” He said, clapping Hayley on the back.  
“You don't know how much I appreciate this,” She grinned.  
“Shall we go?” She asked Lights, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs. “Can't use the elevator, 'cause the night watch people would hear it. It's so quiet in here,” Hayley explained.  
“I don't mind,” Lights replied as they climbed yet another set of stairs.  
“So back in 2009 I met Jason out at a show here, and we totally hit it off. He's been sneaking me in here every year since, he's awesome. I love this place. You’re the first person I’ve ever brought…”  
“Seriously?”  
“Yup.”  
“How come?”  
“Well it’s kind of illegal to be here,” She laughed, “But more than that I’ve just never wanted to. Taylor and Jeremy, well they’d love it but they’d just joke around and I don’t know. It’s special to me. You’ll see,” She smiled as Lights blushed. “…I mean, I never even brought Chad here. It’s kind of just been my place to think and stuff, ya know?”  
“That’s really cool..” Lights said, “…Why do I get to come then?”  
“You’re… Special. I trust you.. I like you.”  
“Well I like you too.. But what I don’t like are these stairs. How many more flights?”  
“13, if I’ve counted correctly.”  
“Jesus!”  
“Yup. All the way to the top. It’s worth it, I promise. You’ll get there even if I have to carry you.” Hayley said as Lights giggled.  
“You’re too good to me, Hayley,” She laughed. Hayley pulled her in for a kiss.  
“Think you can make it?”  
“Hell yeah. I might need a few more kisses though..”  
“That could be arranged.”  
“Good, because I don’t know how long I can go without-” She kissed Hayley again, “This.” Hayley smiled at her, running ahead.  
“Come on we’re almost to the top!” She called as Lights scrambled to catch up. Hayley had stopped at a closed door. “This is the 49th floor. Are you ready?” She asked as Lights nodded, loving how excited Hayley was. “Close your eyes.” Lights did as she was told, hearing Hayley fumble with keys. She unlocked the door and led her inside. “Okay, you can look.” Lights opened her eyes and softly gasped at what she saw.  
“Hayley this is amazing…” The whole wall was a window overlooking the city. Everything looked tiny and fragile, twinkling brightly. The whole floor was empty except for a sofa and coffee table.  
“Nobody works up here so it’s basically just become a hangout. Jason showed me when I first met him and it still hasn’t changed..” Hayley said, babbling nervously. They sat down on the couch and Hayley seemed more anxious than ever. Suddenly she had acquired a single red rose from somewhere, handing it to Lights shyly. “So, um, I’ve been thinking about things for a while, and truth is I like you so much, Lights. I think we’re really good together and I just adore you… I’d really like to try things out, what I’m trying to ask here is… Would you be my girlfriend?” She finished, looking at Lights nervously. She had a huge grin on her face.  
“Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes yes. I would love to be your girlfriend, Hayley,” She said as Hayley look relieved. Lights tackled her with an excited hug, kissing her passionately. “This is amazing. You’re too good for me,” She laughed as Hayley kissed her cheek.  
“Nothing is too good for you… Uh, I know we just climbed 49 flights of stairs but would you be up for a liiittle more adventure?”  
“With you? Always.” Lights smiled as Hayley took her hand, leading her across the room to another door. She pulled out her keys again, unlocking it and revealing a ladder.  
“Would you like to go first or should I?” She asked as Lights shrugged.  
“You can go,” She said as Hayley started up the ladder, “Dat ass.”  
“Well I guess I should’ve seen that one coming,” Hayley laughed. As they neared the top it became hotter and hotter due to the huge light at the top of the beacon. They got to the top, Hayley helping Lights up the last step. “Hold on, I can turn this off,” Hayley said, stepping carefully to get to a control panel a few feet away. She switched off the blinding light, leaving Lights holding tightly to the railing waiting for her eyes to adjust.  
“Where are you?” She asked Hayley, suddenly feeling a hand on her arm. “Oh!”  
“Can you see yet?” Hayley asked as Lights shook her head no.  
“Oops. No, I can’t,” She said, smiling as she felt Hayley hug her. All at once she became aware of the stars overhead, perfectly clear from behind the glass. “It’s like we’re in a lighthouse,” She whispered in awe, looking down at Hayley. She could finally see again. Hayley looked up at her happily.  
“Isn’t it cool?” She asked as Lights nodded. They stayed there holding each other and looking at the sky for a while, before Hayley broke the silence. “We’d better turn it back on before someone realizes it’s off,” She said, motioning to the light. “You can start back down so you won’t have to get blinded.” She started towards the switch again as Lights started back down the ladder. They got back to the sofa, Hayley sitting down cross-legged, Lights following. They faced each other silently for a moment before dissolving into laughter.  
“It’s so late,” Lights laughed, her head in Hayley’s lap. Hayley agreed, brushing her hands through her girlfriend’s hair.  
“Hey. Guess what?” Hayley smiled.  
“What?”  
“If you were a president, you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln,” She giggled as Lights laughed. It was made a million times funnier because of the fact it was nearly 2AM.  
“Come here, you,” Lights said, sitting up and holding Hayley’s hips, pulling her closer. There was no hesitation on either side when they kissed. Hayley draped her arms around Light’s neck and tangled her fingers back into her long hair she loved so much. Lights sucked on Hayley’s neck, remembering how she’d given her a hickey, all too eager to return the gesture. Hayley leaned her head back, letting out a sigh that came out as more of a moan. Lights smiled, kissing her and stifling most of the little noises she made. Hayley spoke breathlessly between kisses.  
“Do you think- Maybe we should- Get out of here?” She cupped Lights’ face in her hands, pulling away for a response.  
“I think- That would be good,” Lights smiled, kissing Hayley once more before standing up. They held hands as they walked back to the stairwell, and the whole walk down. Once they got to the bottom, Jason was nowhere to be seen, so Hayley scratched something down on a scrap piece of paper she found at a table.  
“Thanks again for everything. H x L” They headed back out the way they came, through the alley, but this time Lights wasn’t afraid. They got back to the bus, and even though it was ridiculously late they suddenly weren’t tired anymore. They’d hit the point where they were wide awake again, if only for a couple hours.  
The couple clumsily reached the bus- clumsily because they were making out again by the time they got there. Hayley pinned the brunette against the side of the bus, kissing her passionately. It had started softly at first, but escalated quickly. The sexual tension that had been building up for months was almost unbearable. Hayley quickly established she was in control, and Lights readily obliged, left breathless from the sensation of Hayley’s tongue inside her mouth. The kiss was becoming deeper and more fervent with each passing second. Hayley moved to Lights’ neck, kissing her slowly, causing her to lean her head back against the bus, biting her lip to keep herself from making loud sounds.  
“Inside…” Lights was finally able to mutter. Hayley nodded, fumbling with the door for a second before letting them inside. They stumbled inside, hesitating only to shed their sweatshirts before resuming. They were able to make it to the back room again. Lights swung the door closed behind them before Hayley pulled her over to the couch, straddling her as she sat down. The brunette’s previous soft moans were becoming more restless and eager, especially when she felt Hayley’s hands softly touching her thighs. Hayley ran her hands from her thighs up to her waist, going rather excruciatingly slowly. She slipped under her shirt, caressing the brunette’s back, only to slide back down again, this time stopping at the top of her jeans. She waited a short moment before unbuttoning them and slipping them down to her ankles and off to the floor. She came back up, kissing Lights passionately. She traced Lights’ torso through her shirt, causing it to rise up. The brunette raised her arms almost instinctively as Hayley pulled her shirt over her head and it joined her pants on the floor. Lights blushed a little, suddenly becoming a little shy. Hayley sensed the timidity, cupping her face in her hands and kissing her gently.  
“You’re beautiful,” She whispered. Lights kissed her back. This time it was her turn for her hands to wander. She unbuttoned Hayley’s shirt, sliding it off her shoulders, revealing her black bra. She was about to reach for the clasp when Hayley caught her hands and gently pulled her closer. “Close your eyes,” She whispered. Lights did as she was told, smiling as Hayley guided her so she was nearly lying down on the couch, only propping herself up a little bit with her hands behind her. She let out a soft moan as Hayley leaned forward, kissing her collarbone. Lights reached to her back, struggling to unclasp her bra. Hayley did it for her, smiling as she added it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Her hands automatically were on the brunette’s breasts as she kissed down from her collarbone, going excruciatingly slowly. The sensation of Hayley’s mouth on her breasts was driving her crazy, her skin heating up more with each kiss.  
“Oh god,” Lights moaned as Hayley gently sucked on her right nipple. Her hands were tangled in Hayley’s bright hair, pulling every once in a while when the sensation became unbearable. She trailed kisses down her stomach to her hips, her hot breath sending shivers all throughout Lights’ body. The brunette parted her legs a little as Hayley kissed her inner thighs. She slipped a couple fingers into the edge of her panties, playing with the trim in a teasing manner.  
“Are you sure you want to do this?” She asked, looking up at Lights.  
“Hayley, I wanted to do this since the first day we toured together,” She breathed. Hayley smiled, finally pressing a kiss to Lights’ lips, her tongue slowly darted across her folds in almost a teasing fashion. The brunette arched her back, moaning in response to Hayley. Hayley finally extended her tongue as far as possible inside, curling it a few times, before sliding out and letting her fingers take effect. She slipped her fingers deep inside of Lights and instantly placed pressure in just the right areas.  
Lights’ moans grew louder, her hips bucking gently in response to what Hayley was doing to her. Hayley moved back up and kissed her girlfriend fiercely as she continued to pleasure her.  
“Hayley.. Oh god,” Her breathing was ragged and irregular. Hayley leaned back just enough to get a good look at her. It was clear that Lights was closer than she had truly realized, causing her to smirk and push her fingers faster and deeper inside of her. She was a woman on a mission at this point.  
Lights’ hands roamed Hayley’s bare back, grazing the skin with her nails before burying one hand into her hair and tugging on it. The other hand decided to rest itself in another place. Hayley’s eyes widened slightly as she felt Lights’ hand between her legs as well. She leaned her head back in ecstasy. They both reached their highs and rode out their orgasms until they were exhausted. Hayley collapsed beside Lights onto the mattress as they caught their breath. They laid in silence for a few minutes in utter bliss.  
Lights turned on her side, twirling Hayley's hair around her finger.  
“Mmm, what now?”  
“Now… I think we need to put on clothes before the guys find us in a few hours,” Hayley laughed, leaning forward to kiss Lights. She smiled.  
“How did you do all this?” She brushed a stray hair from between Hayley's lips. “How did you get everyone off the bus and the rose and..?” She trailed off wondrously as Hayley grinned.  
“Max. Max helped, he's the only one in on everything. That's what happened when I stayed over on his bus. We were talking about you, and what I should do…”  
Lights blushed. “So Max is the only one who knows?”  
“Yup.”  
“Then… can we t-” she was cut off by Hayley's phone quietly buzzing in her jeans, which were on the floor. Hayley scrambled to get the call before it went to voicemail. Lights watched her curiously.  
“Hello?” She asked, not bothering to look at the caller ID. Suddenly all the color drained from her face. Lights frowned, wrapping a blanket around herself and moving over to her.  
“Who is it? ... Hayley? Hayley!”


	11. Y'all are single ladies!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ?????conflict???? waiting? or no

"Who is it? ...Hayley? Hayley!" Lights asked, getting up and going over to her. Her face was white as she shook her head. Lights gently put her hand on her arm, trying to get her to say something.  
"Fuck you," Hayley muttered before hanging up. Lights stayed quiet, just looking at her worriedly. "It was Dakota." Hayley said plainly, "She didn't even apologize but she wanted to make sure we were 'okay.' Ridiculous."  
"Oh..." Lights nodded, understanding. She pulled Hayley into a hug, trailing her fingers over her bare back. The redhead sighed, hugging her back tightly. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, startling the two.  
"Fuck," Hayley muttered, scrambling to put clothes on. "Just a second!" She called, and tugging her jeans back on and throwing her shirt on haphazardly. She shoved her bra under a blanket for the moment. She looked to Lights, who was searching for her shirt. She exchanged a look with Hayley that said Where the hell is it? It'd gotten thrown somewhere in the room, but was now nowhere to be found.   
"Hayley, you in there?" Taylor asked through the door, trying the locked handle.  
"Uh, yeah, just a second. You woke me up," She lied, looking to Lights and shrugging in regards to her shirt. She ushered her over to the bunch of blankets, throwing them on top of her to hide her. She arranged them all so that Lights had been turned into an only slightly suspicious looking heap of blankets. She ran to the door, opening it and putting on her best tired face.  
"Uh, what are you doing back?" She managed to half fake a yawn as he looked at her quizzically. Okay, maybe it was kind of hard to fake a yawn.   
"Well, it's almost 4AM and we're exhausted, so... yeah." He said as she nodded. Lights was beginning to overheat under the 3 blankets, doing her best to breathe quietly as she listened to the conversation.  
"Dude, I told you to wait for me!-" Max exclaimed, bursting into the bus just a couple minutes too late. He stopped as he saw Hayley, complete with raging sex hair which Taylor hadn't noticed. Taylor turned around, giving him a funny look. To be fair, Max was acting pretty strange in Taylor's eyes. "Oh, uh, yeah... I just..." Max stuttered and trailed off, looking to Hayley, sending her telepathic apologies. Hayley received the telepathic apologies and nodded a little, but the two were still on edge, just praying that Taylor wouldn't question anything any further. Luckily he just shrugged and climbed into his bunk. Hayley and Max both watched, trying to stay nonchalant about it. As soon as Taylor had closed the curtain and turned over, the two looked at each other, eyes wide.  
Hayley ushered him into the back room and closed the door again. She went over to where Lights was still under the blankets, still dying of heat. Hayley lifted up the blankets, revealing her girlfriend curled up underneath.  
"Hi," She smiled apologetically as Lights dramatically took a deep breath, savoring the fresh air.  
"AIR, YES, MOTHERFUCKING AIR. Jeez, I was about to die in there, Hayley. God. Oh, hi," She realized Max was in the room and pulled a blanket back around herself.  
"I take it things went well then?" Max asked, raising an eyebrow now that the tension was gone. Hayley only smiled, sitting down next to Lights and resting her head on her shoulder.  
"Mmhm."  
"Awww," Max laughed, "I'm glad. Sorry about T. I tried to keep everyone off, but they were supposed to get back in like 5 minutes anyway."   
"Right, right, my bad. I lost track of time," Hayley said, glancing at the clock on her phone. "Well, that all happened. It's been a long ass night. 'M gonna sleep." She mumbled. She stood up and took Lights' hand, heading for the door to the bunk area.   
"I'll see you guys tomorrow," Max said, following them out and heading off back to his own bus. Jeremy passed him on his way in, acting drunk with impending sleep. He climbed straight into his bunk without a second glance to the girls, who both climbed into Hayley's bunk. 

-  
Lights woke up in Hayley's bunk, but without Hayley. She frowned and checked the time before swinging down from the bunk to quickly grab a shirt from her own bed. She hastily wrestled herself into the shirt and found Hayley and Taylor up and eating cereal in the front. Hayley's eyes lit up when she saw Lights, and she patted the spot next to her on the bench. Lights smiled and sat down next to her.   
"Morning T," She said, tearing his attention away from his phone.   
"Oh, hey," He replied, still distracted.   
"He's texting a lady friend," Hayley informed Lights, grinning.   
"Oh! Let me see!" Lights snatched the phone from his hands, laying over Hayley's lap as to keep it away from him. He fought for it back for a moment before realizing it was two against one. Hayley leaned down over Lights to see the correspondence.   
"Dude! She's gorgeous!" She yelled, loud enough to elicit grumbles from Jeremy's bunk. "When did you meet her? Wow." Lights looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. Hayley gave her a sheepish smile and a shrug and sat up, as Lights did the same.   
"I met her at that big party. Her name is Nat," He told them proudly, taking his phone back from Lights.   
"Well dang son. I like her, from what I saw of the conversation."   
"Yeah, I agree. She seems better than how Bailey started off," Lights added. Taylor grimaced though. "Too soon?"   
"Too soon," He nodded.   
"Sorry man. But hey you two seem cute. When will we meet her?"   
"Hopefully soon," He grinned as Hayley punched his arm.   
"God this is so painfully lovey. Get outta here!"   
"Soon!" He laughed.   
"Looks like everyone's all paired up now," Lights said, Taylor stopped laughing.  
"Huh? Y'all are single ladies! Unless you've got some secret boyfriends...?" Hayley's eyes had gone wide.   
"Uh, I'm dating my bunk. Remember? Inseparable," She laughed nervously. Taylor went right along with it, fortunately.   
"Right, right, should have known," He laughed, getting another text from Nat. Lights stayed quiet and Hayley squeezed her hand under the table. She pulled it away and shot Hayley a look. "Well it's been a lovely chat, but I've got a date. See you later," Taylor said, standing up and grabbing his jacket.   
"Bye T,"   
"See ya," The two chorused. After he left, Lights scooted away from Hayley on the bench, look-ing at her for an explanation. There was a moment of near silence, broken only by Jeremy's snoring.   
"What was that?" Lights asked, clearly hurt.   
"Sorry. I'm sorry. It's just, I don't know if I want to tell them yet, you know? There's really no reason they need to know..." Hayley stuttered. Lights shook her head.   
"No, I don't know, Hayley. I don't like lying. I don't lie to people, and I don't want to lie about us especially!"   
"But..."   
"But what? This is silly. Why would you want to hide it from your best friends? I mean I could understand Max's band, but T and Jerm? Correct me if I'm wrong, but they're two of your best friends, and they'd have no problem with it!"  
"I know, I know they'd be cool about it... It's really important to me, I don't know. I'm sorry." Hayley said as Lights sighed.   
"Don't apologize for your feelings... It's really important to me too, that we tell the truth, that is. Do you remember my ex, Beau? I dumped him just a month before I first toured with you all. We broke up because he was constantly lying about the stupidest things, and hiding shit. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, and I can't have another relationship like that, if that's what this is going to be." Lights told her. Hayley swallowed hard and paused a minute before saying anything.   
"I, uh, how about we just don't tell people right away. What if we wait just a bit? We can tell people, I promise, just not now, not right away? Help me compromise here..." Hayley pleaded. Lights bit her lip and didn't say anything. "We won't even have to lie. If someone asks if we're single or something, we can neither confirm nor deny, or just joke. We can joke about it and not give a straight answer. Just change the subject and avoid it! It wouldn't be that hard. And it wouldn't be lying!" Hayley nervously continued, rambling and thinking out loud. Lights looked at her and looked away, still thinking.   
"That's called lying by omission," She said as Hayley sighed.   
"Well it's at least not as bad..." Hayley countered.   
"It's just as bad, it's just less direct," Lights stated, crossing her arms tighter. Hayley sighed exasperatedly once more, receiving a dirty look from Lights. "Don't sigh at me like that. You act like it's a shitty thing to not want to deceive people. I... I don't know. This is really pushing it. I need to think about it, okay? I'm going to go..." She paused, realizing she didn't really have a destination, "Out. I'll be back whenever." She got up and grabbed her jacket just as Taylor had done just 10 minutes ago. As soon as the door had swung shut behind her, an overwhelming sense of regret washed over Hayley, now left sitting alone.   
Fuck. Fuck. What have I done? Not even 24 hours and I've already fucked it up... We can't tell people though. Not yet. I need to clear shit up with... people. Fuuuuck. She hates liars! Why why why do I have to be such a fuck up when something good happens? She hates liars. She broke up with Beau after like 2 years. Because he was lying. Fuck I can't have the same thing happen. I need to change. I need to be better. For her.   
Hayley's inner turmoil was interrupted by Jeremy, finally waking up. She lifted her head from her arms on the table when he greeted her.  
"Hey Orange," He said, ruffling her hair as he walked past. Hayley only groaned in response, the only way she could communicate her distress. Jeremy sat down across from her with cereal, and she sat up properly, not bothering to wipe the frown off her face.  
"What's up with you?" He asked, addressing her obvious strife.   
"I don't know. I think I really fucked something up," She sighed.   
"Can you be any more specific?"   
"Not really."   
"Fair enough. Well, you usually aren't the sole cause of too many fuck-ups, so I'm betting what-ever it is will turn out fine," He said between mouthfuls. Hayley laughed a little, despite herself.   
"Oh man, you always know just what to say," She said sarcastically.   
"Hey, they call me halfway decent with words. That's why I write all this band's lyrics," He con-tinued joking as Hayley shoved him, getting up to go to her bunk.  
"You suck!" She called, still laughing.   
"Love you too!" He replied. Hayley smiled to herself as she climbed into her bunk. She was struck by the unexpected smell of Lights on her pillow and the frown came rushing back. She laid in bed for what felt like years, hearing people come on and off the bus. Every time she heard someone come in she would peek her head out of the curtain to see if it was Lights. Each time it was someone else. Usually such a big string of off days would be lived to their fullest, with everyone out and about, so today everyone but Hayley it seemed, was having a great day. Finally, at around 3:00, 2 hours since Lights had left, she came back on the bus, saying goodbye to Max.   
Hayley watched her hang up her coat before turning around. Her eyes fell on Hayley, who was not so secretly peering at her from the edge of her bunk. Her face gave away nothing of the decision she had made as she walked over to Hayley. who swallowed hard, swinging her legs out of the bunk and hopping down.   
"So?" She blurted, eager to know what Lights had decided.   
"So, we can wait to tell people. We can be a secret for a while," She said as Hayley grinned. She surged forward, hugging Lights tightly.   
"Thank you thank you thank you. I'm sorry, I promise it won't be too long, I promise."   
"Okay," Lights said, hugging her back. "What an eventful first day of dating Hayley Williams," She joked, pulling apart. "You're not easy!"   
Hayley scoffed. "Me? I'm the difficult one?" She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. Lights started to say something but then thought better of it.   
"Okay. Let's drop it. We've come to an agreement, that's that!" Lights proposed as Hayley nodded in agreement.  
"Good idea. So..."  
"So..?"   
"So... Have you eaten?" Hayley asked, realizing she was still running on empty. Lights laughed.   
"No, actually. Are you down for takeout?"   
"Always!" Hayley exclaimed. They ordered Indian and settled into the back lounge for a horror movie marathon, which ended up involving lots of kissing and lots of cuddling. Taylor came in at one point to ask what they were doing, but as soon as he saw the gore on the TV screen, he backed out of the room again. After 3 movies it was 6:10 and Hayley was yawning.   
"Okay, I didn't think this was going to happen today, but I'm tired of scary movies," She ex-plained, sprawling across the couch and into Lights' lap.   
"Wow, never thought I'd see the day!" Lights laughed, playing with her hair.   
"Same. I'm exhausted. I think I just need to do nothing for a few hours," She said as Lights raised an eyebrow.   
"Hm, can I help?"   
"You most certainly can, you clingy puppy, you," Hayley laughed as Lights frowned.   
"I don't mean to be-"   
"I'm kidding!" Hayley assured her, pulling her into a kiss. They laid together for hours, kissing a little and talking a little, but mostly just enjoying each other's closeness.   
"You know what sucks about hiding us?" Lights said, as Hayley turned to look at her. "The fact that when we're hanging out with people and out all day, I can't do this-" She kissed Hayley softly, pulling apart slowly. Hayley was left smiling when Lights pulled away. "-Because we can't hide away like this forever."  
"Can't we?" Hayley asked, meeting Lights' steady gaze. Lights brushed her thumb over the scar above Hayley's eye.   
"Nope."


End file.
